Laugh Out Loud: Hilarious Quotes for Every Occasion - Page 13

Brighten your day with a selection of humorous and funny quotes. Laugh out loud with witty and amusing insights. Page 13 provides more funny quotes.

Image of Sam Richardson
When you grow up with siblings, you can be like, 'Isn't this weird? Isn't this funny? Do we agree on this, or do we disagree?' You have some point of reference, some touchstone. When you grow up an only child, everything is internalized.
- Sam Richardson
Collection: Funny
Image of Barry Sonnenfeld
When Frank the Pug is singing I Will Survive, the only reason it's funny is that Will is in that shot trying not to get angry. A shot of a dog singing I Will Survive on its own will not get a laugh.
- Barry Sonnenfeld
Collection: Funny
Image of Trevor Noah
Most of my show is true; like, 90% of everything I say on stage is true. I just have to find the way to make it funny - that's the difficult thing.
- Trevor Noah
Collection: Funny
Image of Ronald Knox
Only man has dignity; only man, therefore, can be funny.
- Ronald Knox
Collection: Funny
Image of H. R. Giger
You know, it was just another presentation of my work, and a funny one, because the cards are quite different from the normal Tarot deck, no?
- H. R. Giger
Collection: Funny
Image of Jon Pardi
I'm a funny guy. You've got to be able to make fun of yourself. We only live once.
- Jon Pardi
Collection: Funny
Image of Seth MacFarlane
If a song is funny and absurd, and it sounds great, it's just going to be that much funnier. And there's no better example of that than 'Monty Python.'
- Seth MacFarlane
Collection: Funny
Image of Adam Carolla
It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
- Adam Carolla
Collection: Funny
Image of Mae Martin
I'm attracted to funny people with nice hands who smell good and are kind to people.
- Mae Martin
Collection: Funny
Image of Joe Rogan
The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.
- Joe Rogan
Collection: Funny
Image of Tim Dillon
My sensibility has never been political. The things I find funny are generally apolitical.
- Tim Dillon
Collection: Funny
Image of Nikki Sixx
The funny thing is that when you have any form of presentation to your band, meaning you have the foresight to see outside of your creativity, you have a bigger vision.
- Nikki Sixx
Collection: Funny
Image of Elle King
I think I write funny songs that make people kind of, like, stop what they're doing and be like, 'What did you say?' And then it makes them laugh a little bit.
- Elle King
Collection: Funny
Image of Mabel
Being a solo artist in general can be incredibly lonely. It's funny how often the bigger you get sometimes, the lonelier you feel.
- Mabel
Collection: Funny
Image of Dee Rees
With 'Pariah,' at the time, I had just come out. I had a coming out experience, and I was writing about it, transposing my experience as an adult: What would it have been like if I had been a teenager in Brooklyn? The funny thing was people thought I was from Brooklyn. I had to be like, 'No, I'm from Nashville.'
- Dee Rees
Collection: Funny
Image of Maura Tierney
I did a lot of sitcoms, and being funny isn't about being beautiful. Usually, beautiful people aren't the funny people.
- Maura Tierney
Collection: Funny
Image of Julia Roberts
Light and funny has a more compelling quality when you're younger. But I haven't abandoned the genre: I love falling down; I love Lucille Ball. It's just that a lot of those stories revolve around problems that I can't convincingly portray at this age.
- Julia Roberts
Collection: Funny
Image of Gracie Gold
It's kind of low brow, but the show 'Bob's Burgers' is hilarious, and being from the Midwest, I can kind of relate to a lot of the jokes. 'Orange is The New Black' is a Netflix Exclusive, I think - that's really funny.
- Gracie Gold
Collection: Funny
Image of Tom Hiddleston
Chris Hemsworth is like Christopher Reeve in that he can do two things: he can wear a big red cape without a shred of self-consciousness. But he's also funny as hell, and he's so sweet. So with all the fish-out-of-water stuff, he's so funny. So he does almost two jobs in a way.
- Tom Hiddleston
Collection: Funny
Image of Christopher Walken
Laurence Olivier said in an interview once that when he plays a tragedy he always aims for the funny parts, and the other way around. Because in a comedy you look for what's serious. I think that's true. Sometimes things are really funny if you're absolutely earnest. If you're really serious, it's hilarious.
- Christopher Walken
Collection: Funny
Image of Groucho Marx
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
- Groucho Marx
Collection: Funny
Image of Abraham Lincoln
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
- Abraham Lincoln
Collection: Funny
Image of Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
- Mark Twain
Collection: Funny
Image of Margaret Mead
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
- Margaret Mead
Collection: Funny
Image of Laurence J. Peter
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
- Laurence J. Peter
Collection: Funny
Image of Theodore Roosevelt
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.
- Theodore Roosevelt
Collection: Funny
Image of Leo Durocher
I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren't any rules, how could you break them?
- Leo Durocher
Collection: Funny
Image of Steven Wright
What's another word for Thesaurus?
- Steven Wright
Collection: Funny
Image of David Lee Roth
I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
- David Lee Roth
Collection: Funny
Image of Albert Einstein
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
- Albert Einstein
Collection: Funny
Image of Will Rogers
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
- Will Rogers
Collection: Funny
Image of Steve Martin
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin
Collection: Funny
Image of W. H. Auden
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.
- W. H. Auden
Collection: Funny
Image of Jules Renard
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
- Jules Renard
Collection: Funny
Image of Mitch Hedberg
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
- Mitch Hedberg
Collection: Funny
Image of Arnold Schwarzenegger
It's simple, if it jiggles, it's fat.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
Collection: Funny
Image of Bertrand Russell
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
- Bertrand Russell
Collection: Funny
Image of Carrie Fisher
Instant gratification takes too long.
- Carrie Fisher
Collection: Funny
Image of H. L. Mencken
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken
Collection: Funny
Image of Sam Levenson
Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.
- Sam Levenson
Collection: Funny
Image of Robin Williams
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
- Robin Williams
Collection: Funny
Image of Yogi Berra
I never said most of the things I said.
- Yogi Berra
Collection: Funny
Image of Mae West
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
- Mae West
Collection: Funny
Image of Joan Rivers
Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.
- Joan Rivers
Collection: Funny
Image of Oscar Levant
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
- Oscar Levant
Collection: Funny
Image of Anthony Burgess
Every dogma has its day.
- Anthony Burgess
Collection: Funny
Image of Lily Tomlin
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
- Lily Tomlin
Collection: Funny
Image of George Carlin
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
- George Carlin
Collection: Funny
Image of Henry Kissinger
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
- Henry Kissinger
Collection: Funny