Laurence J. Peter
Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.Collection: Teen
Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.Collection: Alone
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.Collection: Business
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.Collection: Funny
Lead, follow, or get out of the way.Collection: Leadership
Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.Collection: Work
Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.Collection: Patience
Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.Collection: Chance
An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.Collection: Intelligence
A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.Collection: Brainy
Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.Collection: Beauty
Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.Collection: Best
You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.Collection: Friendship
Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.Collection: Truth
The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.Collection: Failure
Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.Collection: Work
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?Collection: Funny
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.Collection: Funny
It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.Collection: Relationship
The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.Collection: Best
America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.Collection: Government
Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.Collection: Funny
Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.Collection: Technology
Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.Collection: Car
If you don't know where you're going, you will probably end up somewhere else.
When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.
In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.
Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.
Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.
Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.
The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.
America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.
A man convinced against his will is not convinced.
A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.
As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't.
There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.
Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.
Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?
There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thoughtCollection: Inspirational
In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.Collection: Business
. . . if you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.Collection: Differences