Laugh Out Loud: Hilarious Quotes for Every Occasion - Page 9
Brighten your day with a selection of humorous and funny quotes. Laugh out loud with witty and amusing insights. Page 9 provides more funny quotes.
I had gotten to a place where I truly believed everything I was called: 'not sexy,' 'not funny,' 'too intense,' desperate.' All those labels they gave me, I took them because there wasn't a trace of my true self left.Collection: Funny
I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.Collection: Funny
I saw Quentin Tarantino's 'Django Unchained,' and you could say a lot of things against it, but it was incredible fun. I don't like blood and gore, and I am very squeamish about violence, but Tarantino's violence is actually funny.Collection: Funny
My wife's a loving, funny, Irish-spirited person, and I'm still surprised at some of the things she says. She makes me laugh every day.Collection: Funny
Usually, if I think something is really funny, I'm not gonna test it. I'll just test it when I'm onstage.Collection: Funny
We, as Americans, at least - I mean, I love my country - but we're so self-righteous sometimes, in terms of, like, our nationality, our country. But we're people from somewhere else; the true 'Americans' are the original peoples. It's funny, but we're a very territorial species.Collection: Funny
At first it was like, 'I don't want to date no drag queen.' I guess it's considered taboo and funny. I always have to set my friends straight and say, 'We're two gay men, and that is why we're attracted to each other.' We don't kiss in drag usually, it messes up our lipstick. Sometimes I'll try, and she'll be like, 'Get away from me.'Collection: Funny
At the end of the day it's got to be a good movie, it's got to be a funny movie, and it's got to make people think, 'Hey, I couldn't have spent my time any better.'Collection: Funny
It's a rare film that has staying power. 'A Christmas Story' is not just a funny movie but something that connects with people.Collection: Funny
Richard Pryor introduced me to the world of the inner city, and the urban world, and did it hysterically. My favorite comedian, even though we work 180 degrees differently, but funny is funny is funny.Collection: Funny
If you're serious, you really understand that it's important that you laugh as much as possible and admit that you're the funniest person you ever met. You have to laugh. Admit that you're funny. Otherwise, you die in solemnity.Collection: Funny
The only movie I can watch on a loop, over and over, is 'Help', the Beatles movie. It's so funny and irreverent and great.Collection: Funny
Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.Collection: Funny
It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life.Collection: Funny
There is a saying that if you get something for free, you should know that you're the product. It was never more true than in the case of Facebook and Gmail and YouTube. You get free social-media services, and you get free funny cat videos. In exchange, you give up the most valuable asset you have, which is your personal data.Collection: Funny
The fans of 'The Hunger Games,' of the book, are very passionate. It's funny: Even at my concerts there are people holding up 'Cinna' signs.Collection: Funny
I don't mean to be funny.Collection: Funny
Being stupid and compassionate are not conflicts. Being mean and being funny and having something to say are not a conflict.Collection: Funny
I write about wounds, the eternal treasons of life. It's not very funny, but it's sincere. My commitment is to sincerity.Collection: Funny
It's funny that as soon as I retired from international football, Italy won the World Cup.Collection: Funny
The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.Collection: Funny
Seeing the funny side of life is useful, and I've always had a sense of humour.Collection: Funny
I'm screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I'm funnier than a lot of people, I think, and that's appreciated by young people.Collection: Funny
JaVale McGee is one of the smartest guys I know. Like, he's a nerd, plays with gadgets, and is into technology. He's funny - he's got crazy jokes, and his timing with jokes is really funny. You have to be really smart to think the way he does.Collection: Funny
Sometimes, things need to be so understated on film that I don't even see them as funny, which isn't my favorite style, comedically. When I watch film comedy, I like people that are a little bit more alive on the screen and wound up. I like volatility and unpredictability and other long words like those.Collection: Funny
I like Jacques Derrida; I think he's funny. I like my philosophy with a few jokes and puns. I know that that offends other philosophers; they think he's not taking things seriously, but he comes up with some marvellous puns. Why shouldn't you have a bit of fun while dealing with the deepest issues of the mind?Collection: Funny
When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it all the right way. It's funny how different it looks and how it's happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head, and outwardly it looks like I'm going to get a bagel.Collection: Funny
I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers.Collection: Funny
If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.Collection: Funny
Letterman is very intimidating because he's so funny, so you have to be really prepared. Also, he's a little squeamish about certain things, so you have to always be on guard to please him.Collection: Funny
Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.Collection: Funny
If my life wasn't funny, it would just be true, and that's unacceptable.Collection: Funny
You can hate me for being a woman, you can hate me for being smart, you can hate me for being funny, but you hate me because I am doing something you could never do. End of story.Collection: Funny
My uncle is so funny - Don Vito. He was always fat with the craziest voice. Dude, he barely speaks English; it's just full-blown jibber-jabber. It's so funny to watch on TV because you really need subtitles because you can't understand him.Collection: Funny
It's funny - nowadays people that are famous get chased by paparazzi. They have this fame, but they don't have the money to hide from it.Collection: Funny
My chin's too big. And my nose - my nose is funny.Collection: Funny
I'm a natural clown, I suppose, in writing, and one has to accept that; I can't do anything about it. I have written one or two novels which are not specifically funny. I wrote a study of Shakespeare which was not intended to be funny, but some people regard it as such.Collection: Funny
In Nova Scotia, there are some definite down-home accents, and it's funny because you can go to Sydney, and one guy is from North Sydney, and you can't understand a thing he's saying, or Glace Bay or wherever.Collection: Funny
I've never found kicks to the groin particularly funny, although recent work in the genre of the buddy movie suggests audience research must prove me wrong.Collection: Funny
It's so good to get up in the morning and see a donkey - they're just unbelievably beautiful and funny. My donkey Hector laughs when I walk towards him; he knows mortality when he sees it.Collection: Funny
Girls don't poop, so don't claim you do. You can fart - because farting is funny - but we don't want to know that you poop.Collection: Funny
The mind is a funny thing in how it works. Sometimes you have to tell yourself what's really true. If you don't, your mind starts trying to tell you lies.Collection: Funny
I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.Collection: Funny
And it is hysterically funny to see someone eating oysters for the first time.Collection: Funny
When you're out of sight for as long as I was, there's a funny feeling of betrayal that comes over people when they see you again.Collection: Funny
My sister tells people that we're all funny in our family, but I'm the only one who gets paid for it.Collection: Funny
I think it's just funny, the things that come out of people's mouths, whether it's a politician, whether it's an average person on the street - and to be honest with you, sometimes these politicians sound like average people on the street.Collection: Funny
Novels are not about expressing yourself, they're about something beautiful, funny, clever and organic. Self-expression? Go and ring a bell in a yard if you want to express yourself.Collection: Funny
The moment I was introduced to my wife, Emma, at a party I thought, here she is - and 20 minutes later I told her she ought to marry me. She thought I was as mad as a rat. She wouldn't even give me her telephone number - and she wrote in her diary: 'A funny little man asked me to marry him.'Collection: Funny