John Waters
I read, every day, the 'Wall Street Journal''s editorials because I like to think how my smart enemy thinks.
To me, the most important thing is the script. I would never make a movie that I didn't write. I wouldn't know how to.
I think it would be fun to die onstage! Just drop dead in the middle of my show? That wouldn't be so bad.
I always wanted them to look like Hollywood movies; I just didn't know how to do it.
Underground, raw movies that come out of nowhere and change everything - they aren't slick-looking. But I have nothing against slick-looking as long as the scripts are funny.
My biggest fear in life is living Nativity scenes. I hide in cars and drive around looking at them. Something about it is really scary to me. What parent would put their child in there with mules and camels and straw?
It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else.Collection: Inspirational
My idea of rich is that you can buy every book you ever want without looking at the price and you're never around assholes. That's the two things to really fight for in life.Collection: Life
To understand bad taste one must have very good taste.Collection: Taste
True success is figuring out your life and career so you never have to be around jerks.Collection: Careers
My idea of an interesting person is someone who is quite proud of their seemingly abnormal life and turns their disadvantage into a career.Collection: Careers
You should never read just for "enjoyment." Read to make yourself smarter! Less judgmental. More apt to understand your friends' insane behavior, or better yet, your own. Pick "hard books." Ones you have to concentrate on while reading. And for god's sake, don't let me ever hear you say, "I can't read fiction. I only have time for the truth." Fiction is the truth, fool! Ever hear of "literature"? That means fiction, too, stupid.Collection: Motivational
Don’t sleep with people who don’t read.Collection: Sleep
I respect everything I make fun of.Collection: Fun
If you can make someone laugh who's dead set against you, that's the first step to winning them over to your side.Collection: Winning
As far as socially redeeming value, I hope I don't have any.Collection: Redeeming
I like art that challenges you and makes a lot of people angry because they don't get it. Because they refuse to look at it properly. Rather than open their mind to the possibility of seeing something, they just resist. A lot of people think contemporary art makes them feel stupid. Because they are stupid. They're right. If you have contempt about contemporary art, you are stupid. You can be the most uneducated person in the world and completely appreciate contemporary art, because you see the rebellion. You see that it's trying to change things.Collection: Art
If you ever go home with somebody and they don't have books in their house, don't sleep with them. I think that's very important.Collection: Book
Life is a rotten lottery.Collection: Rotten
So many great people are dead, and so many assholes I know are still alive. Karma's bullshit. I wish it was true, but it ain't.Collection: Karma
When they throw the water on the witch, she says, “Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness”. That line inspired my life. I sometimes say it to myself before I go to sleep, like a prayer.Collection: Beautiful
I don't trust anyone that hasn't been to jail at least once in their life.Collection: Jail
The selfie has become a new autograph, but it takes twice as long to do as a real autograph. I do it because I'm like, "What am I going to do, these people bought me my house." Why am I not going to take a picture with them except I always say, "You have to hold it up! Shoot down or it's really ugly if you shoot up!" So not only does it take longer, you have to teach them camera angles.Collection: Real
I could never kill myself. I approve of suicide if you have horrible health. Otherwise it's the ultimate hissy fit.Collection: Suicide
I always want to see films that are startling and amazing. Not just shocking. Shocking is easy to do. But startling in the way that makes you change how you think about things. Those are the movies I like the best.Collection: Thinking
To me, bad taste is what entertainment is all about. If someone vomits while watching one of my films, it's like getting a standing ovation. But one must remember that there is such a thing as good bad taste and bad bad taste.Collection: Ovation
My films can be considered political action against the tyranny of good taste.Collection: Political
Being rich is not about how much money you have or how many homes you own; it's the freedom to buy any book you want without looking at the price and wondering if you can afford it.Collection: Book
I want to be harder to reach, not easier.Collection: Want
I always wanted to be a juvenile delinquent but my parents wouldn't let me.Collection: Parent
I care about the presidential elections. I always vote. Sometimes I've voted more than once, illegally. But you can't anymore. The picture ID has ruined everything.Collection: Presidential
I think middle America has changed very, very much. I think people are way more open-minded. I think - I think it's because the Internet. I think they're exposed to so much. All the men talked about how much they love their wife, which I don't hear all the time in art communities.Collection: Art
The "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" hitchhiker really made people never want to hitchhike again - the hitcher, the show. Hitchhiking is always vaguely sexual.Collection: Texas
I've always believed in the goodness of people. I teach in prison. They all said, don't do it. Carry a gun, take Mace. Are you kidding? I guess, they're around so many criminal elements that they fear for.Collection: Gun
William Castle and Alfred Hitchcock were the first director-personalities. Before then, nobody in America knew what a director was.Collection: America
Wealth is walking into any bookshop and buying any book you want without looking at the price tag.Collection: Book
My photographs are not really about photography. They are about editing. I use photography but they are all taken from the TV screen. Anybody can do that, but it's the order I put the pictures in to try to create a new kind of movie, something that you can put on your wall.Collection: Photography
I do like Christmas. I do understand that there are people who hate it, and there are other religions that resent it. So, I speak to everybody - I try to speak to every kind of minority and majority that cannot escape the steamroller known as Christmas.Collection: Hate
If I died tomorrow I've accomplished what I set out to do in my life. I enjoy making my movies, I enjoy doing what I do. I have a nice life.Collection: Nice
Ever feel like killing somebody just to see if you could get away with it? Sure, you have. Everybody has little things that get on their nerves.Collection: Littles
People always ask me what I'm doing on the subway, but I love it! Sometimes I like to ride in the front car and look out the window at the rats.Collection: Car
It reinforced everything that I believe. I am an optimist. I believe in the goodness of people.Collection: Believe
...Don't let me ever hear you say, 'I can't read fiction. I only have time for the truth.' Fiction is the truth, fool! Ever hear of 'literature'? That means fiction, too, stupid.Collection: Stupid
An underground hit didn't make any money and it cost a dollar to get in.Collection: Dollars
There was a cultural war going on, the '60s was going on. All the film critics were square.Collection: War
When I was young, no one wanted to be one; now even the President of the United States would call himself an outsider. So now I'm for insiders.Collection: President
I think I technically learned some things, hopefully. But I go to the movies for characters and story and a berserk vision.Collection: Character
I've had it with being nice, understanding, fair and hopeful. I feel like being negative all day. The chip on my shoulder could sink the QE2. I've got an attitude problem and nobody better get in my way...I'm in a bad mood and the whole stupid little world is gonna pay!Collection: Attitude
I've signed dicks, asses, parole cards, a colostomy bag while it was still pumping. A couple of years ago, I signed a bloody Tampax. That's one you don't forget. I'm not asking for someone to top that!Collection: Couple