Sometimes, keeping track of people. It's always a weird combination of worrying so much about the outside world, and not... you have to be more aware of the inner circle, the folks that matter.Collection: Circles
Never go to Pluto, it's a Mickey Mouse planet.Collection: Pluto
As intellectual as we think we are, you still trip, we still have human foibles, sexuality, all the different things to still make you aware of your humanity.Collection: Thinking
I met Jonah Lomu. I never knew how huge he was. I felt like a peasant in a Godzilla movie. 'Quickly! Tell the other villagers! We go now!'Collection: Godzilla
For a while you get mad, then you get over it.Collection: Philosophy
When your spinal cord freezes up, you're vulnerable to everything. But he [Chrestopher Reese] was tough as nails. And he kept a great, kind of dark sense of humor about it, but also was able to accomplish amazing things.Collection: Dark
In America, they really do mythologize people when they die.Collection: America
Cocaine for me was a place to hide. Most people get hyper on coke. It slowed me down. Sometimes it made me paranoid and impotent, but mostly it just made me withdrawn.Collection: Recovery
What's true in our minds is true, whether some people know it or not.Collection: People
On rides you see things that trigger ideas. And most the time it's just not doing anything but riding ... letting it all go.Collection: Ideas
Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt!Collection: Coffee
The idea of being a character who is kind of isolated, I can relate to that.Collection: Character
They say our mothers really know how to push our buttons - because they installed themCollection: Mother
Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.Collection: Funny
The truth is, if anything, I'm probably addicted to laughter.Collection: Laughter
Compassionate conservative. I don't know what that is, it sounds like a Volvo with a gun rack.Collection: Gun
Most of all, I want to thank my father, up there, the man who when I said I wanted to be an actor, he said, 'Wonderful. Just have a back-up profession like welding.'Collection: Father
Clouds are like boogers hanging on the nostrils of the moon.Collection: Science
In the dictionary under redundant it says see redundant.Collection: Redundant
But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be.Collection: Inspirational
People say that I'm a tree hugger, but I do a lot more than hug trees. I like having my drinking water without faecal matter, that's really nice. Or acceptable levels of strychnine. I'm an air breather, I've gotten used to that over the years.Collection: Nice
Everyone has these two visions when they hold their child for the first time. The first is your child as an adult saying "I want to thank the Nobel Committee for this award." The other is "You want fries with that?".Collection: Children
The Chinese had accused the Tibetans of being terrorists, which is weird. A Tibetan terrorist is like an Amish hacker. It just doesn't fit.Collection: Chinese
What's wrong with death sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity, and decency, and God forbid, maybe even humor. Death is not the enemy gentlemen. If we're going to fight a disease, let's fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference.Collection: Death
If you can remember the sixties, you weren't there.Collection: Remember
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.'Collection: Funny
After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.Collection: Drinking
Being a functioning alcoholic is kind of like being a paraplegic lap dancer: You can do it, just not as well as the others, really.Collection: Dancer
A human life is just a heartbeat in heaven.Collection: Philosophy
Politically, I don't care what party you're from, offer a point of view and let's see what happens and really debate the issues rather than use personal attacks. Really talk about it, talk about immigration, talk about education, talk about pollution.Collection: Party
One day [when I relapsed] I walked into a store and saw a little bottle of Jack Daniel's. And then that voice - I call it the 'lower power' - goes, 'Hey. Just a taste. Just one.' I drank it, and there was that brief moment of 'Oh, I'm okay!' But it escalated so quickly. Within a week I was buying so many bottles I sounded like a wind chime walking down the street.Collection: Suicide
If you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? Carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.Collection: Carpe Diem
Don’t associate yourself with toxic people. It’s better to be alone and love yourself than surrounded by people that make you hate yourself.Collection: Hate
Please, don’t worry so much. Because in the end, none of us have very long on this Earth. Life is fleeting.Collection: Philosophy
You know what music is? God’s little reminder that there’s something else besides us in this universe; harmonic connection between all living beings, every where, even the stars.Collection: Philosophy
Kid, if You Need Booze or Drugs to Enjoy Your Life to the Fullest, You’re Doing It Wrong.Collection: Kids
Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you are making too much money.Collection: Humor
The human spirit is more powerful than any drug and THAT is what needs to be nourished: with work, play, friendship, family. THESE are the things that matter.Collection: Philosophy
I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.Collection: Laughter
If we’re going to fight a disease, let’s fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference.Collection: Fighting
I went to rehab for alcoholism in wine country, just to keep my options open.Collection: Country
There are times when life’s just real quiet and simple. I sometimes get tired of people saying, “Well, what are you really like?”Collection: Real
Sometimes you got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It’s called fun.Collection: Fun
I think it’s great when stories are dark and strange and weirdly personal.Collection: Stories
My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes.Collection: Firsts
The dramas for me allow me to explore more behavioral, deeper psychological things. But the comedies obviously allow me to explore the idea of really working off other people. I’m having more fun doing that.Collection: Fun
Sometimes with a comedy it’s just having the instinct of how real you play it and what level you want it.Collection: Real
Women have so many levels. There’s the physical level, which is a lot of fun. There’s this emotional level, which is extremely mercurial.Collection: Fun