Maureen Johnson
My rule is: the second you find yourself doing something you hate, quit doing it.
I read two mysteries a day when I was a kid. All of Agatha Christie, all of 'Sherlock Holmes.' I've seen every single British detective show ever made.
When I worked in theater, I was always writing things on Post-it Notes and sticking them on screens or desks. Twitter has given me a way of continuing to post those notes, only a lot of other people see them, too.
I've heard people on panels say, 'You must have a Web site. You need to tweet. Repeat the title of your book constantly,' and I just want to say, 'Shut up. Everything you're saying is wrong.' People will know instantly if your only motivation for tweeting is to sell books.
'Harry Potter' achieved a very special act of actual magic: it made it completely acceptable for an adult to carry around, read and enjoy a children's book.
The kids I talk to are readers, and the craziest, the most dedicated readers you will ever see.
The funny thing about stop signs is that they're also start signs.Collection: Inspirational
Keep calm and carry on. Also, stay in and hide because the Ripper is coming.Collection: Calm
There is no normal. I've never met a normal person. The concept is flawed. It implies that there is only one way people are supposed to be, and that can't possible be true. Human experience is far too varied.Collection: People
You can never visit the same place twice. Each time, it's a different story. By the very act of coming back, you wipe out what came before.Collection: Book
Fear can't hurt you," she said. "When it washes over you, give it no power. It's a snake with no venom. Remember that. That knowledge can save you.Collection: Hurt
Irony is the word I forget the meaning of immediately after I look it up, but I kind of feel like I live in a constant state of it.Collection: Looks
Guilt isn't always a rational thing, Clio realized. Guilt is a weight that will crush you whether you deserve it or not.Collection: Crush
I sleep better knowing that a naked cork-eater is not sneaking around at night, stealing my underwear.Collection: Sleep
She introduced herself to my parents with one of her mighty, bunny-crushing handshakes. (I'd never seen Claudia crush a bunny, to be fair, but that's the approximate level of pressure.)Collection: Crush
Spicy food and I have a close relationship—an obsessive one, in fact. If it’s spicy, I want it. I want to sweat and shake and go half blind from the searing pain . . . which, now that I put it that way, seems really suggestive. But spicy stuff is addictive. That’s a known fact of science.Collection: Pain
Proximity doesn't breed familiarity.Collection: Proximity
Being an author means, almost by definition, that you make up characters and then complicate their lives. That's it, really. You make up characters and give them problem after problem after problem.Collection: Writing
Tired, but not the kind of tired that sleep fixes.Collection: Tired
It's always awkward when someone doesn't realize you're joking and devotes thought time to what you've said. Double that when the person is wearing tinfoil.Collection: Awkward
It's always easier to say good-bye when you know it's just a prelude to hello.Collection: Book
Writing is one of the few careers for which you essentially train yourself, the other two major ones being juggling and pickpocketing.Collection: Writing
It was like the entire world was colluding to make me feel insane, and it was doing a really good job.Collection: Jobs
Did I just kill someone?" "You can't kill a dead person," Callum said. "Makes no sense.Collection: Said
Did you hear?" he asked. "They found another body around nine this morning. It's the Ripper, definitely." "Good morning," I replied. "Morning. Listen to this. The second victim.Collection: Morning
New start or not, there was a line to be drawn, and that line was singing musicals to yourself as serious psychological motivation.Collection: Motivation
The whole "weak in the knees" thing,which she always thought was just some idiotic expression back from the golden age of idiotic expressions,was real. -Suite ScarlettCollection: Real
You'd been petting a stuffed dog?' she said 'A dead one?' 'It was a really well stuffed dog' I clarified. 'I have seen some bad taxidermy. This was top-notch work. It would have fooled anyone.Collection: Dog
This pool is a triumph of imagination. That's how you win at life, Gin. You have to imagine your way through. Never say something can't be done. There's always a solution, even if it's weird.Collection: Winning
I like you because you were mad. And you're pretty. And pretty sane for a mad person.Collection: I Like You
Rory: "People are being serious." Jazza: "There's a serial killer out there. Of course people are being serious." Rory: "Yeah, but what are the chances?" Jazza: "I bet all of the victims thought that." Rory: "But still, what are the chances?" Jazza: "Well, I imagine they are several million to one." Jerome: "Not that high. You're only dealing with a small part of London. And while there might be a million or more people in that area, the Ripper is probably focusing on women, because all of the original victims were women. So halve that--" Jazza: "You really need another hobby.Collection: People
I followed your footsteps," he said, in answer to the unspoken question. "Snow makes it easy." I had been tracked, like a bear. "Sorry to make you go to all that trouble," I said. "I didn't have to go that far, really. You're about three streets over. You just kept going in loops." A really inept bear.Collection: Sorry
One thing," I said, when we had broken apart and the swirling feeling in my head subsided. "Maybe...don't tell your mom too much about this. I think she has ideas." "What?" he asked, all innocence, as he put an arm around my shoulders and led me back toward his house. "Don't your parents cheer and stare when you make out with someone? Is that weird where you come from? I guess they don't get to see it much, though. From jail, I mean." "Shut it, Weintraub. If I knock you down in the snow, these kids will swarm and eat you.Collection: Mom
Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies.Collection: Flirting
Once again, her parents' problems had run through her life like a piece of heavy equipment, smashing everything in their way.Collection: Running
Something about this boat screamed, "I am a very popular model in the world's oil-bearing regions. I cost more than your soul!Collection: Oil
No one in history had ever done less and yet been so wrong.Collection: Done
She firmly held the theory that everyone gets at least one very stupid superpower.Collection: Stupid
Even though she had been warned, she tripped over the bike. She probably tripped because she'd been warned and was telling herself not to trip over the bike. She did that sometimes. It was often easier not to know what obstacles were in the way.Collection: Life
Sometimes it is worth any amount of suffering just to prevent giving your parents the opportunity to be right.Collection: Opportunity
Ah," he said. "I had an . . . artistic disagreement with the director of the panto. As it happens, I take issue with the objectification of women in Cinderella, and the reliance on shoes as a means of identification. Surely you understand.Collection: Mean
Welsh is an actual, currently used language and our next-door neighbors Angela and Gaenor spoke it. It sounds like Wizard.Collection: Doors
And if we get caught, I will claim I made you go. At gunpoint. I am American. People will assume I'm armed.Collection: People
My final word: don't follow your dreams . . . chase them. With a stick, or a shovel, or whatever you have handy. Get that [bleep]ing dream!Collection: Dream
I'm done. I'm going to go to bed and read important books about theater." "It would would be easier if you just said porn," Scarlett said. "No idea what you're talking about. But knock first if you need me.Collection: Book
Tell me what you want, what you really, really want," he said. "Braiiinnnnssss," we said in unison.Collection: Want
I decided to deflect her attitude by giving a long, Southern answer. I come from people who know how to draw things out. Annoy a Southerner, and we will drain away the moments of your life with our slow, detailed replies until you are nothing but a husk of your former self and that much closer to death.Collection: Attitude
You're...a demon hunter?' 'It's not as exciting as it sounds,' he said. 'There is a surprising amount of paperwork involved.Collection: Sound
These houses had been plunked down with an alarming randomness -- unevenly spaced, on crooked lines, like whoever had designed the place had said, "We'll just follow this cat, and wherever he sits down, we'll build something.Collection: Cat
Walk really, really carefully. It's not complicated, but if you mess up, you'll die, so pay attention.Collection: Attention