Matt Groening
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?Collection: Home
With animation because you can draw anything and do anything and have the characters do whatever you want the tendency is to be very loose with the boundaries and the rules.Collection: Character
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.Collection: Children
When will people learn? Democracy doesn't work!" (Homer Simpson)Collection: People
The French are funny, sex is funny, and comedies are funny, yet no French sex comedies are funny.Collection: Sex
I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!Collection: Believe
I pledge impertinence to the flag waving, of the unindicted co-conspirators of America, and to the republicans for which I can't stand, one abomination, underhanded fraud, indefensible, with Liberty and Justice.. Forget it.Collection: America
Me fail English? That's unpossible.Collection: Failing
America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!Collection: Japan
I was very disturbed when Jesus found a demon in a guy, and he put the demon in a herd of pigs, then sent them off a cliff. What did the pigs do? I could never figure that out. It just seemed very un-Christian. Technically, I'm an agnostic, but I definitely believe in hell -- especially after watching the fall TV schedule.Collection: Christian
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, soccer games, romances, best friends, location of friend's houses, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.Collection: Soccer
With "Futurama," I wanted to do unrequited love, and David Cohen agreed, and although our original plan was never to have Fry and Leela get together, we finally just said, "You can only string the fans along so far."Collection: Unrequited Love
NEVER! Never, Marge! I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called 'City Fathers' who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?!Collection: Father
When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV!Collection: Life
The next time you are contemplating a decision in which you are debating whether or not to go for the gusto, ask yourself this important question: "How long am I going to be dead?" With that perspective, you can now make a free, fearless choice to do just about any goddamned sneaky thing your devious little mind can think up. Go ahead. Have your fun. You're welcome. Go on. See you in hell.Collection: Fun
Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon." Lisa SimpsonCollection: Beautiful
I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.Collection: Sandwiches
I've been deadline-driven for my whole grown-up life, and that hasn't gone away. It is nice to be able to reflect about the big picture, about what kind of stories you want to tell, and how to take advantage of success.Collection: Nice
Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians.Collection: Jerk
Back in high school, I wrote a novel about a character named Bart Simpson. I thought it was a very unusual name for a kid at the time. I had this idea of an angry father yelling "Bart," and Bart sounds kind of like bark - like a barking dog.Collection: Dog
I don't mind sharing the blame if she'll just admit she started it.Collection: Mind
I think human beings probably resonate with audiences more than bunnies, but who knows?Collection: Thinking
I would prefer to listen to a French classical composer like Olivier Messiaen than to the pop hits of the day.Collection: Pops
I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.Collection: Beer
If people only knew how much I secretly hated them, they'd love me for holding it in.Collection: Funny
I'm a fan of animation and so, the more stuff that doesn't look like the other stuff that's out there, I'm in favor.Collection: Fans
Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be particularly proud of, either.Collection: Proud
Humor does depend on surprise, and the things that people remember as the funniest things in the world, you look at later and you go, "What? What was that all about?"Collection: People
Fans think they want to see more than the 10 to 20 seconds of Itchy and Scratchy that we put on the show, but my feeling is less is more. Once you've skinned and flayed a cat, ripped his head off, made him drink acid and tied his tongue to the moon, there really isn't that much to say.Collection: Cat
You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done.Collection: Long
I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.Collection: Shadow
I think people who work in comedy and humor are hesitant to analyze it too much, because you feel like if you take it apart, you'll break it and not be able to put it back together again.Collection: Thinking
I always thought that television was the way to go in my goal to invade pop culture because it got to towns in which there were no bookstores. That's how I used to think of it: How do I reach kids who not only don't read but probably have no access to much in the way of books?Collection: Book
Let's face it, all the good stuff happens after midnight.Collection: Inspirational
The amazing thing about Freak Out! was that there was nothing quite like it in rock 'n roll at the time. It was really simultaneously crude and ugly, and incredibly sophisticated. The Beatles were funny, but there was nothing with the kind of sneer that you could feel in the music of Frank Zappa.Collection: Rocks
Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?Collection: Love
How can I be expected to love someone who tries such crude manipulations as bringing me breakfast in bed?Collection: Trying
For some reason, a lot of Hollywood big shots are curious to see how they'd be drawn with bulging eyes and no chin.Collection: Eye
Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.Collection: Loneliness
The Simpsons and Futurama are such big projects, going on for years and working in different media, that everything involved with them, promotion and merchandise and online presence and all the rest, deserve to be scrutinized, so that's part of it. I have a great deal of sympathy for anyone at the core of a multimedia juggernaut, even if you might not care for the specific pop-culture invasion of your brain. The people who do it work really hard.Collection: People
I personally like the idea of newspapers. It's a good format. You can read it in whatever order you want. You can glance at it. There is something about a single screen and scrolling through pages that just doesn't have the same appeal.Collection: Order
I have to say that The Simpsons comes from a huge number of great writers headed by Al Jean, the show-runner, and the work that they do is really fantastic. It's a blast just to sit around with them in the writers' room and listen to all the filthy jokes that will never get on the air.Collection: Air
Anxiety and hostility seem to be a great part of good and bad humor. Examining humor too closely does seem to destroy it.Collection: Anxiety
A lot of American shows don't last for as long as 12 episodes. They get cut after one. But certainly one of the great things about The Office in particular was that there was a beginning, a middle and an end.Collection: Cutting
I think in daily newspapers, the way comic strips are treated, it's as if newspaper publishers are going out of their way to kill the medium. They're printing the comics so small that most strips are just talking heads, and if you look back at the glory days of comic strips, you can see that they were showcases for some of the best pop art ever to come out.Collection: Art
You just have to keep in mind that the important relationship is the relationship with the audience. That's what I try to do. Everything else is secondary.Collection: Important Relationships
The really great thing about having two TV shows going on at the same time is that I can go to one and say that I have to go and visit the other and then I can just go home and they don't know.Collection: Home
But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.Collection: What If
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer SimpsonCollection: Men