Top witty Quotes Collection - Page 5

Discover a curated collection of witty quotes. Find inspiration, motivation, and wisdom from the best quotes in this category. Page 5 provides more witty quotes.

Image of Oprah Winfrey
I know that you cannot hate other people without hating yourself.
- Oprah Winfrey
Collection: Witty
Image of Grant Morrison
Talking to oneself, I have often thought, is the best way to be sure of intelligent and witty conversation.
- Grant Morrison
Collection: Witty
Image of Frank Lloyd Wright
The physician can bury his mistakes, but the architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Collection: Witty
Image of William Shakespeare
Go, write it in a martial hand; be curst and brief; it is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent and fun of invention: taunt him with the licence of ink: if thou thou'st him some thrice, it shall not be amiss; and as many lies as will lie in thy shee.
- William Shakespeare
Collection: Witty
Image of Friedrich Nietzsche
People who live in an age of corruption are witty and slanderous; they know that there are other kinds of murder than by dagger or assault; they also know that whatever is well said is believed.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Collection: Witty
Image of Oscar Wilde
I won't belong to a club that accepts me as a member
- Oscar Wilde
Collection: Witty
Image of Friedrich Nietzsche
Nobody thanks a witty man for politeness when he puts himself on a par with a society in which it would not be polite to show one's wit.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Collection: Witty
Image of Charles Simmons
Euphonic and harmonious expressions, forcible and just expressions, profound and comprehensive expressions, and especially apt and witty expressions, each have their specific influence upon different minds, and their common influence upon all minds.... It is therefore high time our most valuable aphorisms and paragraphs were put in order for frequent perusal, and for handy reference, as the circumstances of life call up subjects.
- Charles Simmons
Collection: Witty
Image of Jim Butcher
Ack!" I said. Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me.
- Jim Butcher
Collection: Witty
Image of Tom Robbins
The female characters in my books tend to be independent, frisky, spunky, witty, emotionally strong, erotically daring, spiritually oriented and intellectually generous; in short, the kind of women I admire in real life.
- Tom Robbins
Collection: Witty
Image of David Sedaris
I don't think I'm a witty person. To me, a witty person is a funny person who is also a smart person. My friend David Rakoff, who died a few years ago, he was a witty person. Fran Lebowitz is a witty person. I don't think there are that many witty people around, so you tend to notice them when they do come around. I don't consider myself to be that.
- David Sedaris
Collection: Witty
Image of Shannon Hale
Well do I remember the first night we met, how you questioned my opinion that first impressions are perfect. You were right to do so, of course, but even then I suspected what I've come to believe most passionately these past weeks: from that first moment, I knew you were a dangerous woman, and I was in great peril of falling in love." She thought she should say something witty here. She said, "Really?
- Shannon Hale
Collection: Witty
Image of Ayn Rand
Man is a being with free will; therefore, each man is potentially good or evil, and it's up to him and only him (through his reasoning mind) to decide which he wants to be.
- Ayn Rand
Collection: Witty
Image of Edgar Allan Poe
The history of all Magazines shows plainly that those which have attained celebrity were indebted for it to articles similar in natureto Berenice--although, I grant you, far superior in style and execution. I say similar in nature. You ask me in what does this nature consist? In the ludicrous heightened into the grotesque: the fearful coloured into the horrible: the witty exaggerated into the burlesque: the singular wrought out into the strange and mystical.
- Edgar Allan Poe
Collection: Witty
Image of John Waters
If you think someone's trying too hard, that's the worst thing they can do. To me, it's just desperate, never funny and never witty. It's kind of really old hat because just being shocking isn't enough. It has to change how you think about something. It has to startle you. It has to make you look at something and reconsider whether you're right. That's the whole point.
- John Waters
Collection: Witty
Image of Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Trying to be witty leads to lying, more or less.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Collection: Witty
Image of Barack Obama
When our government is spoken of as some menacing, threatening, foreign entity, it ignores the fact that in our democracy, government is us
- Barack Obama
Collection: Witty
Image of Ayn Rand
The worst guilt is to accept an undeserved guilt — and that is what you have been doing all your life.
- Ayn Rand
Collection: Witty
Image of Lily Tomlin
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
- Lily Tomlin
Collection: Witty
Image of Ned Vizzini
I want my brain to slide back into the slot it was meant to be in, rest there the way it did before the fall of last year, back when I was young, witty, and my teachers said I had incredible promise.
- Ned Vizzini
Collection: Witty
Image of William Shakespeare
If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well. It were done quickly.
- William Shakespeare
Collection: Witty
Image of William Shakespeare
I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men.
- William Shakespeare
Collection: Witty
Image of Joseph Addison
The discreet man finds out the talents of those he converses with, and knows how to apply them to proper uses. Accordingly, if we look into particular communities and divisions of men, we may observe that it is the discreet man, not the witty, nor the learned, nor the brave, who guides the conversation, and gives measures to the society.
- Joseph Addison
Collection: Witty
Image of Douglas Coupland
I tried to think of a witty play on Every picture tells a thousand words, but then the whole word/picture thing collapsed on me.
- Douglas Coupland
Collection: Witty
Image of Gloria Steinem
It doesn't matter where we begin the personal/political circle, but it matters desperately that we complete it.
- Gloria Steinem
Collection: Witty
Image of Henry David Thoreau
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Collection: Witty
Image of Ayn Rand
You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.
- Ayn Rand
Collection: Witty
Image of Emo Philips
My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
- Emo Philips
Collection: Witty
Image of Joyce Meyer
You can look at a person's attitude and know what kind of thinking is prevalent in his life... It's better to be positive and wrong than negative and right!
- Joyce Meyer
Collection: Witty
Image of Bill Watterson
Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN
- Bill Watterson
Collection: Witty
Image of Katharine Whitehorn
Children and zip fasteners do not respond to force ... except occasionally.
- Katharine Whitehorn
Collection: Witty
Image of Robert Pattinson
I don't know if I'm particularly funny, I mean one of my legs is shorter than the other one, it makes everything look very awkward, so I can just pretty much look like an idiot, but I don't know whether I can be like witty. It could be a problem.
- Robert Pattinson
Collection: Witty
Image of George Bernard Shaw
The ability to make witty observations is commonly refered to as "cynism" by people who lack it.
- George Bernard Shaw
Collection: Witty
Image of Will Rogers
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
- Will Rogers
Collection: Witty
Image of Voltaire
A witty quote proves nothing.
- Voltaire
Collection: Witty
Image of Kris Carr
I am so frickin' cool and delicious and pretty and witty and sharp! I love every inch of me! Who wouldn't?
- Kris Carr
Collection: Witty
Image of Woody Allen
I can levitate birds. No one cares.
- Woody Allen
Collection: Witty
Image of Woody Allen
My brain? It's my second favorite organ!
- Woody Allen
Collection: Witty
Image of Woody Allen
Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
- Woody Allen
Collection: Witty
Image of Woody Allen
I’m going to kill myself. I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I’ll be dead. you know, in fact, if I get the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier, which would be perfect. Or wait a minute. It -- with the time change, I could be alive for six hours in New York but dead three hours in Paris. I could get things done, and I could also be dead.
- Woody Allen
Collection: Witty
Image of Miguel de Cervantes
A father may have a child who is ugly and lacking in all the graces, and the love he feels for him puts a blindfold over his eyes so that he does not see his defects but considers them signs of charm and intelligence and recounts them to his friends as if they were clever and witty.
- Miguel de Cervantes
Collection: Witty
Image of John Hurt
The great joke is that a realist is an optimistic pessimist. That's very witty. Whether it's truthful or not, that I don't know.
- John Hurt
Collection: Witty
Image of Lord Chesterfield
Unlike my subject will I frame my song, It shall be witty and it shan't be long.
- Lord Chesterfield
Collection: Witty
Image of Wolfgang Pauli
This isn't right. This isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli
Collection: Witty
Image of Woody Allen
Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym.
- Woody Allen
Collection: Witty
Image of Woody Allen
I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.
- Woody Allen
Collection: Witty
Image of George Burns
I would read Playboy more often, but my glasses keep steaming up.
- George Burns
Collection: Witty
Image of Woody Allen
I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.
- Woody Allen
Collection: Witty
Image of Woody Allen
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
- Woody Allen
Collection: Witty