Top witty Quotes Collection - Page 9

Discover a curated collection of witty quotes. Find inspiration, motivation, and wisdom from the best quotes in this category. Page 9 provides more witty quotes.

Image of Donald Barthelme
Now it is necessary to court her, and win her, and put on this clean dressing gown, and cut my various nails, and drink something that will kill the millions of germs in my mouth, and say something flattering, and be witty and bonny, and hale and kinky, all just to ease this wrinkle in the groin. It seems a high price.
- Donald Barthelme
Collection: Witty
Image of Mignon McLaughlin
Vanity, revenge, loneliness, boredom, all apply: lust is one of the least of the reasons for promiscuity.
- Mignon McLaughlin
Collection: Witty
Image of Richelle Mead
My commentary's hilarious, not witty.
- Richelle Mead
Collection: Witty
Image of Dave Barry
A long memory is the most subversive idea in America. A tautology is a thing which is tautological. A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention. If your kids look like you, it's hereditory. If they look like the neighbor, it's the environment. Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
- Dave Barry
Collection: Witty
Image of Reba McEntire
My mama is my best friend. We have fun, we can talk about anything, she always is on my side but really quick to tell me when I'm wrong. That's a true friend. She's loyal, smart, witty and intelligent. She loves family and loves to travel. All the things I love!
- Reba McEntire
Collection: Witty
Image of Dave Barry
I will vote for the first candidate who promises to use nuclear missiles against LinkedIn.
- Dave Barry
Collection: Witty
Image of Richelle Mead
I always love it whenever Rose delivers one of her witty one-liners—particularly when it’s a completely serious situation. The contrast always amuses me, but then, I’m biased.
- Richelle Mead
Collection: Witty
Image of Mignon McLaughlin
Desire is in men a hunger, in women only an appetite.
- Mignon McLaughlin
Collection: Witty
Image of Sarah McLachlan
Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories.
- Sarah McLachlan
Collection: Witty
Image of Mae West
I’m single because I was born that way.
- Mae West
Collection: Witty
Image of George Bernard Shaw
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
Collection: Witty
Image of George Carlin
That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
- George Carlin
Collection: Witty
Image of Leo Buscaglia
The greatest risk is to risk nothing at all.
- Leo Buscaglia
Collection: Witty
Image of Lily Tomlin
The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.
- Lily Tomlin
Collection: Witty
Image of Woody Allen
I’m not anti-social. I’m just not social.
- Woody Allen
Collection: Witty
Image of Bob Hope
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
- Bob Hope
Collection: Witty
Image of Warren Zevon
I’ll sleep when I’m dead.
- Warren Zevon
Collection: Witty