Bill Watterson
If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.Collection: Gardening
God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.Collection: God
Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.Collection: Experience
Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?Collection: Learning
I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.Collection: Food
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.Collection: Intelligence
I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.Collection: Dreams
Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.Collection: Change
There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.Collection: Time
That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.Collection: Science
Genius is never understood in its own time.Collection: Brainy
Reality continues to ruin my life.Collection: Funny
If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.Collection: Nature
The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.Collection: Future
Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.Collection: Friendship
Mothers are the necessity of invention.Collection: Mom
It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.Collection: Cool
So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it.Collection: Food
Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery - it recharges by running.Collection: Car
From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way.
Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.
Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.
I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
It's always better to leave the party early.
I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.
Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.
The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!
I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.
It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?
Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
I liked things better when I didn't understand them.
The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life... I don't want the issue of Hobbes's reality settled by a doll manufacturer.
A real job is a job you hate.
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.
It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.
I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
If I had rolled along with the strip's popularity and repeated myself for another five, 10 or 20 years, the people now 'grieving' for 'Calvin and Hobbes' would be wishing me dead.
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.Collection: Religious
The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.Collection: Motivational
I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.Collection: Motivational
Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive... To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.Collection: Good Life
I let my mind wander and it didn't come back.Collection: Mind