Top witty Quotes Collection - Page 6
Discover a curated collection of witty quotes. Find inspiration, motivation, and wisdom from the best quotes in this category. Page 6 provides more witty quotes.
This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why don’t you turn him in? And the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. Well I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know they’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd but I guess we keep going through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs.Collection: Witty
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.Collection: Witty
I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.Collection: Witty
Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.Collection: Witty
I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.Collection: Witty
The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.Collection: Witty
If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.Collection: Witty
A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.Collection: Witty
Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.Collection: Witty
Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!Collection: Witty
Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.Collection: Witty
The heart wants what it wants.Collection: Witty
Observe it, the vulgar often laugh, but never smile, whereas well-bred people often smile, and seldom or never laugh. A witty thing never excited laughter, it pleases only the mind and never distorts the countenance.Collection: Witty
There are three estates in Parliament but in the Reporters' Gallery yonder there sits a Fourth Estate more important far than they all. It is not a figure of speech or witty saying, it is a literal fact, very momentous to us in these times.Collection: Witty
I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.Collection: Witty
You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The paradox consists of the fact that, when we fall in love, we are seeking to re-find all or some of the people to whom we were attached as children. On the other hand, we ask our beloved to correct all of the wrongs that these early parents or siblings inflicted upon us. So that love contains in it the contradiction: The attempt to return to the past and the attempt to undo the past.Collection: Witty
And my parents finally realize I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.Collection: Witty
I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.Collection: Witty
Poesy is a beauteous damsel, chaste, honourable, discreet, witty, retired, and who keeps herself within the limits of propriety. She is a friend of solitude; fountains entertain her, meadows console her, woods free her from ennui, flowers delight her; in short, she gives pleasure and instruction to all with whom she communicates.Collection: Witty
We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.Collection: Witty
The English never draw a line without blurring it.Collection: Witty
Science should be on tap, not on top.Collection: Witty
A sheep in sheep's clothing.Collection: Witty
People tell me that Senator Edwards got picked for his good looks, his sex appeal, and his great hair. I say to them: How do you think I got the job?Collection: Witty
Elgar is not manic enough to be Russian, not witty or pointilliste enough to be French, not harmonically simple enough to be Italian and not stodgy enough to be German. We arrive at his Englishry by pure elimination.Collection: Witty
The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.Collection: Witty
For me, a male image that I'm really moved by is somewhere between of Oscar Wilde type of a male: the fop, the long hair, the suits, too witty for his own good, incredibly smart, scathingly funny - all that. But then my other ideal is more like the Buddhist monk - the shaved head, actually someone who sublimates their sexuality.Collection: Witty
There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?Collection: Witty
He looks like a female llama who has been surprised in the bath.Collection: Witty
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.Collection: Witty
A witty statesman said, you might prove anything by figures.Collection: Witty
Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.Collection: Witty
I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.Collection: Witty
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.Collection: Witty
You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.Collection: Witty
Vote early and vote often.Collection: Witty
The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.Collection: Witty
The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.Collection: Witty
I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable. And I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave -- with all five fingers -- for their hospitality.Collection: Witty
Facts are the enemy of truth.Collection: Witty
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?Collection: Witty
The wicked at heart probably know something.Collection: Witty
I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.Collection: Witty
he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn somethingCollection: Witty
If you wanted nothing done at all, Balfour was the man for the job.Collection: Witty
I love the working class, and everyone from it that I've met, and think they're incredible witty, inventive - there's a lot of poetry there. A lot of rough stuff as well. What there is, too, is an awful lot of expressiveness and intelligence and originality down there. And a lot of thwarted intelligence.Collection: Witty
One woman I interviewed, Amanda Ghost, said, "Let's not bullshit, there are no women at the top of the music business, and that is a serious problem." And I said, "Yes!" And I didn't shy away from saying that. But I still don't want to be in the firing line. I'm not clever or witty or brave enough to get into the political nitty-gritty with it.Collection: Witty
Mankind will never see an end of trouble until lovers of wisdom come to hold political power, or the holders of power become lovers of wisdomCollection: Witty
By the end of the session, I am no one at all. Haymitch started drinking somewhere around witty, and a nasty edge has crept into his voice. "I give up, sweetheart. Just answer the questions and try not to let the audience see how openly you despise them.Collection: Witty