Rich Fulcher
When we were touring with The Mighty Boosh, we went on a ghost tour of York. It was all about ghosts, and the tour guide was hilarious.Collection: Ghost
People think that I live in England and have a British accent.Collection: Thinking
I missed the day in school where you subtract all the zeros. Let's say you subtract 10,000 minus 89. I never got the fact that you go next door and borrow a cup of coffee, and the zero changes to nine. For the longest time, I didn't know how to do it. I still to this day have been affected, and it was just one day they taught it. I was too afraid to say, "Why? What's going on with the zeroes?" So for the longest time, I thought that was a conspiracy.Collection: Zero
I used to kiss things all the time. I would have to kiss everything, just about everything. The headboard on my bed, the steering wheel in my car. I think it was an OCD thing.Collection: Kissing
While in a crowded underground carriage, scream 'It's happening again!Collection: Scream
I guess the most interesting thing that people think is I'm English. They think that I live in England and have a British accent. When they talk to me, at first they go, "Man, you have a great American accent," and I go, "No, no, no, this is my accent. I don't do accents." And then they're really disappointed, and they try to punch me.Collection: Men
Some people think it's psuedo-science, but it's called morphic resonance. It's when someone thinks of an idea, it makes it easier for someone else to think of the idea. That's why you should do crossword puzzles later in the day, because other people have thought about the answers. That's why you hear about people coming up with inventions almost at the same time, because someone else is thinking about it. That's why whenever I have a really good idea, I'm always worried about theft.Collection: Thinking
I did pass the bar in Pennsylvania. I can practice Amish law. But it's long expired, my bar license.Collection: Law
I'm not like Madonna. I haven't changed my lilt in my voice.Collection: Voice
That's why you hear about people coming up with inventions almost at the same time, because someone else is thinking about it.Collection: Thinking
The first day I went to law school, I realized I'd made a huge mistake. It was nothing like what I thought.Collection: Mistake
I was way into space and planes. I had loads of model planes and rockets.Collection: Space
When I was little, I met Ronald Reagan. I think I said something to him. He was talking about somebody - he said somebody was like the Clint Eastwood of something, and I said, "I thought he was the Arnold Schwarzenegger," or "more like Arnold Schwarzenegger." He just looked at me like I was crazy. He didn't know what I was talking about.Collection: Crazy
When I was little, my dad was in the Air Force. He introduced me to Neil Armstrong, and Neil Armstrong signed my moon book. I had a little moon book, which I still have somewhere, and he signed it, and he died. It's true.Collection: Dad
Sometimes I steal costumes.Collection: Costumes
I used to steal pens at the store. Back in the day when you would write checks, I would write a check and use the pen, and I would keep the pen.Collection: Writing
I have terrible memory and really bad teeth as a result.Collection: Memories
I click my teeth together every time I want to take a mental picture of something, like, "Wow, what a beautiful sunset!" Slam your teeth together.Collection: Beautiful
Every joke is either taken by ads or The Simpsons. It's all about being able to get your ideas out into the universe.Collection: Taken
It was in D.C., and I couldn't believe how they were just three guys, but they sounded like six guys. It was amazing. I got spoiled, because that was my first concert. I wish in retrospect I had seen someone like Air Supply, and then my expectations could keep rising. Nothing against Air Supply. "I'm All Out Of Love" is still a classic.Collection: Believe
We saw The Man From La Mancha, and I remember there was a scene where the woman's skirt fell off, and I got embarrassed and excited at the same time.Collection: Men
I didn't know there were so many ghosts in [New] York.Collection: New York
Every time the tour guide told a story, he would build it up to the point where he'd say, "And there was Bloody Joe, and his young ghost son walked into the room." He would build it up, and then it was just "the ghost walked into the room." And he would say, "Let's move on," and that would be it. It's like, wait, what happened to the bloody ghost? That's it? We knew he was making some of it up.Collection: Moving
It's sort of like a reminder [click my teeth together] to remember it, but I don't think it works. I have terrible memory and really bad teeth as a result.Collection: Memories
I think more about clicking the teeth, because I have to line them up just exactly right, and then I slam them down so they exactly meet. And I think I worry about that too much. I'm not thinking about remembering. Like, "Wow, that was a great moment went my son went trick-or-treating": click. "What was I supposed to remember?" That sort of thing.Collection: Son
I still have the Antonio Banderas outfit from when I toured with Noel Fielding. I kept that outfit, and if you guys want it back, forget about it. It's mine. Silky silky. My silky, silky shirt is mine. My black pants are mine. And the boot is mine!Collection: Guy
When I just want to be free, I'll wear the Banderas outfit and the mask and touch myself. On the chest. Only on the chest. I just want to feel the silky silks.Collection: Want
I thought you'd be arguing [in the law school], and then I realized you have to read all these cases, and it's mostly writing, and then I just thought, "Well, I might as well stay and get the degree."Collection: Writing
When I was little, I met Ronald Reagan. I think I said something to him.Collection: Thinking
I could survive in a Turkish prison, probably.Collection: Prison
Sometimes I'd go [in British accent] "Uhh, brilliant! Absolutely brilliant, thank you. Wonderful. Cheers!" I do say "cheers" automatically," from living over there. I say "cheers" to everything.Collection: Cheer
I guess the most interesting thing that people think is I'm English [because of The Mighty Boosh].Collection: Thinking
Some people try to say I'm British by the way I'm speaking. But I think I'm more Canadian, because I speak really slow. Midwestern and Canadian.Collection: Thinking
I hate liver, but I could imagine eating some with a little bit of ketchup. Like, a lot of ketchup. I could survive in a Turkish prison, probably.Collection: Hate
You can do law with a law degree. You can't do anything else.Collection: Law
I went right to Chicago to do improv [after law school], but I wish I had gone, "Let me just bypass this law thing." I mean, sure, it helps you read a contract, but I can read a contract regardless. It's just common sense, contracts.Collection: School
That's why whenever I have a really good idea, I'm always worried about theft.Collection: Ideas
Me and a friend literally had the idea for Wedding Crashers and pitched it, and it was already a script. They go, "That's funny! You should call it The Wedding Crashers." It was almost exactly like that .Collection: Ideas
If we're not counting kids' movies - because my kid is constantly watching The Jungle Book - I would have to say Wall Street.Collection: Wall
I'm not one of those Star Wars guys that has seen [my favorite movie] 97 times.Collection: Stars
I love to hate [Wall Street] it, and I like it. I love the fact that I hate it and like it at the same time. Plus, Gordon Gekko is now [Donald] Trump, isn't he?Collection: Wall
Only he [Gordon Gekko] is a lot smarter than [Donald] Trump.Collection: Trump
I say "cheers" to everything.Collection: Cheer