Godfrey
Customs is punishment for those who travel. This will teach you for traveling to our country!Collection: Country
I used to think it was corny to be in love but actually it's corny to lose an awesome woman! Real talk.Collection: Real
I am not a model the camera just went off by itselfCollection: Cameras
You know, the energy I think I was just born with. I think I was just always like that as I kid; I was always real energetic.Collection: Real
My black friends in America don't believe me. I said, 'Dude, I'm Nigerian American.' 'Word? We thought you were, like, regular black.' What the hell is 'regular black'? Crayola coming out with colors I don't know about?Collection: Believe
I think that sometimes I've been a little too nice. I think you have to have a balance. When you're too nice people take you for granted, they take you for a fool I think.Collection: Nice
I love when they show the really gay prisoner in prison shows. He's the cutest inside but you know on the street he would be the ugliest.Collection: Gay
I'm still trying to understand the wearing off high heels at the airport.Collection: Airports
The X-Games - I watch that; I'm not impressed. That's white dudes' desperation. They're running out of sports. They gotta find something that black dudes won't touch.Collection: Sports
Be happy with your stereotype. Asians - that's the stereotype I want. Being the smartest person in the world? You're the smartest, what are you complaining about? You know what I get? 'Wassup?Collection: Complaining
You've got to keep moving, keep creating.Collection: Moving
I use profanity because I like profanity, but I'm not vulgar. Big difference. I love profanity because I really think profanity is cool.Collection: Thinking
That's what I take pride in in my stand-up, is changing things up. Being special.Collection: Pride
But there's times when I like to find the strange angles to something. People go, 'I heard a lot of jokes like that, but that's one of the most interesting takes I heard.' That's what I try to do.Collection: People
I'm forever a part of pop culture.Collection: Forever
I want to be able to go into a room of aliens and be funny. I don't care who it is. I don't ever want to limit myself to a type of comedy because I don't want to be stuck. I want to be able to make anybody laugh and that's the key for me.Collection: Keys
Hey man! I'm a comedian but I'm not a clown.Collection: Men
I would say, as far as heckling, there's benign and there's malignant; like tumors man. Sometimes you get really nice hecklers. I'd say percentage-wise it's only about 10 to 20 percent the whole year.Collection: Wise
Even if you get a joke right you've done it a thousand times and sometimes there's times where it just doesn't work or someone doesn't agree with you. And I want to show that. I have had more hecklers because that's part of comedy is arguments, you know?Collection: Hecklers
If Mandela were a comedian, I bet he would never get mad at a heckler, he'd give him or her a hug.Collection: Giving
I was always the class clown, although many teachers view the class clown as a trouble maker. But I always had good grades, so the only thing my parents were told was that while I was intelligent, I talked too much.Collection: Teacher
You know what the bodega is? It's the little Latin store, and they try to act like it's a grocery store. It has two aisles. And the guy, he always tries to help me, 'You looking for the bread?' I was like, 'Dude, I can see it right here, alright.' He's like, 'Hey, hey, it's in aisle two.' That's all you got, what are you talking about?Collection: Latin
I got into trouble a lot in school. They say you're a disturbance in class. You're a distraction, they're moving you around. You never really get rewarded in class for being funny. You're a disturbance. But the funny kid is often witty and clever and quick... they finally get a chance to express themselves when they get out of school.Collection: Witty
I can always create new material. That's something I can control.Collection: Materials
I think the audience should take away that it's okay to be smart, it's okay to be funny and well-learned. You can be from academia and be funny; you don't have to be an idiot.Collection: Smart
I think there are people living in Walmart dressed up as employees.Collection: Thinking
Tell your girlfriend or wife you love them everyday. Like I do!Collection: Girlfriend
Want to shut a racist white guy's mouth. Put him around Super human athletic black dudes.Collection: White
I went to University of Illinois. Big school. 35,000 students. 800 black... I was the only black in every class. Hard to be absent.Collection: School
But some people want attention so bad they want you to see them angry at you.Collection: People
Immigrants have been coming here for a long time. The Americans that are afraid of others coming were immigrants once themselves, so they have a lot of nerve. We have a lot of nerve as a country. The only people that should have xenophobia are Native Americans. Everyone else should shut up.Collection: Country
The one thing you don't want to be is a sucky clean comic. I hate sucky clean comics! It's like Christian rock, bro. I'd rather listen to gospel and Christian rock. That's cheating!Collection: Christian
I wish people would understand that comedy is an art form, and that the same thing that makes a Picasso painting is the same thing that gives Bill Cosby the ability to do an hour of comedy on his kids.Collection: Art
I observe everything around me and when something hits me and it's funny, that's what I talk about. I'm a more observational kind of comic.Collection: Kind
When my woman kisses me I start dancing like James Brown. Ow! I Feel Good!Collection: Kissing