Eoin Colfer
Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival teamCollection: Team
Most craft give a nod, however brief and unfriendly, towards beauty. Vogon ships did not nod towards beauty. They pulled on ski masks and mugged beauty in a dark alley They spat in the eye of beauty and bludgeoned their wait through the notions of aesthetics and aerodynamics. Vogon cruisers did not so much travel through space as defile it and toss it aside.Collection: Eye
I can grow cameras!" she had shrieked at the Brill brothers during one briefing. "Who's to say that despicable centaur Foaly hasn't succeded in splicing surveillance equiptment to plants? So get rid of all the flowers. Rocks, too. I don't trust them. Sullen little blebers.Collection: Brother
Her glare was so intense that you completely forgot she was wearing pink.Collection: Wearing Pink
People are afraid of you, Arty. Girls are terrified of you. You’re a fifteen-year-old in a bespoke suit, and nobody died.Collection: Girl
You display inordinate pride for someone who has completed a task which could have been performed by a lesser primate in a shorter time.Collection: Pride
Victor Vigny: It is like the old fairy tale. The boy saves the princess; they fall in love. He invents a flying machine - along with his dashing teacher, of course. They get married and name thier firstborn after the aforementioned dashing teacher. Conor: I don't recall that fairy tale from the nursery. Victor Vigny: Trust me, It's a classic.Collection: Teacher
Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander.Collection: Mean
And it's amazing how much noise people ignoring each other can make.Collection: People
Everything rests on the poisoned wine. If it were just the queen, I could force it down her gullet, but Declan Broekhart would run me through with that damned ceremonial sword, and if his wife's stares were daggers, he'd be dead already.Collection: Running
We lost the crickets," she said. "Even you can't make that sound tough." ..."I am Butler," he said with a straight-face. "Everything I say sounds tough. Now, get out of the lake, fairy.Collection: Lakes
I'm LEP. A captain. No rent-a-cop gnome is going to stand in the way of my orders.Collection: Order
I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember?Collection: Girly
Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.Collection: Eight
Listen to me, convict. I have not traveled all this way to listen to your war stories. So shut your trap before I shut it for you. Commander Julius RootCollection: War
That was all he said, except for "Aaaeerrgghhh." Which is not really a word. But the reason that he screamed "Aaaeerrgghhh" was that Franco had bitten him savegly on the wrist.Collection: Reason
What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?Collection: Mean
...Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make.Collection: Doe
If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.Collection: Far Away
Certainly, Doctor. Let's talk about your chair. Victorian?Collection: Doctors
If Koboi defeats and presumably murders us both then you can consider the debt null and void.Collection: Null
Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.Collection: Stupid
Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.Collection: Nsa
That's the last order I'll ever give you Captain. Don't you dare ignore it.Collection: Order
I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.Collection: Two
I bet," said Mulch, "that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn." Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer. Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything.Collection: Fire
Don’t feel bad; I regularly reduce people to unintelligible stammers.Collection: People
Boo-hoo. Help me, I'm a girl. What kind of modern woman are you? A smart one.Collection: Girl
Let's save some time here. I grow weary of your clumsy bluffs. In the case of an abduction, the LEP will send a crack Retrieval team to get back what has been lost.. You have done so. Excuse me while I titter. Crack team? Honestly. A Cub-Scout patrol armed with water pistols could have defeated them.Collection: Team
We get an apartment together, and after a whirlwind courtship you marry my sister and honeymoon in Vegas.Collection: Vegas
Meg and Belch only had eyes for each other. Not in the usual romantic sense.Collection: Eye
Is that how you're going to take me? Scare me into voluntarily coming aboard, then steal my Ice Cube?" "It's always cubes with you," noted Foaly, somewhat randomly. "What's wrong with a nice sphere?Collection: Nice
...to be injured on this tundra would lead to a quick and painful death—or at the very least abject humiliation before the popping flashes of the tourist season's tail end, which was slightly less painful than a painful death, but lasted longer.Collection: Painful Death
Benny was awake again. Happened every morning.Collection: Morning
Artemis ducked. Cudgeon didn't. Guess what? Artemis was smarter.Collection: Artemis
Too much damned TV. Thinks he's Sherlock Holmes." "That's professor Moriarty," corrected Foaly. "Holmes, Moriarty, they both look the same with the flesh scorched off their skulls.Collection: Thinking
Artemis Fowl grinned right back at him and pointed his index finger to the sky... from the tip of this finger sprang a small blue spark that exploded like a tiny firework. “I know magic can be stolen,” said Artemis. “Because I stole some myself.Collection: Blue
Holly died without a friend to hold her hand. Artemis felt her go, another gift of the magic. He kept on counting, brushing away the tears on his cheeks.Collection: Hands
Artemis turned and stared at his friend with the blue eyes. Holly was staring back, and she was smiling. “I remember,” she said aloud. “You saved me.” Artemis smiled back. “It never happened,” he said.Collection: Eye
I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary.Collection: Scary
Yes. Because every family needs a laser for thier family jet.Collection: Needs
I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!!Collection: Mother
Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.Collection: Boys
He took a deep, shuddering breath. "Okay. I said it, it's out there. And I am fine now. So let's move on, shall we? What's the plan?Collection: Moving
Chaos reigned, and the survivalists eagerly unwrapped the kidskin from their crossbows. Phase one of Opal's plan was complete.Collection: Opal
Onscreen, Foaly rubbed his eyelids with his index fingers. "Yeah, yeah. Here we go. Captain Short goes rogue once more. Hands up who's surprised. Anyone?Collection: Hands
Artemis looked at Holly and felt a tremendous affection for her... he could properly appreciate how fierce and beautiful his best friend was... She is truly magical, thought Artemis. Perhaps her qualities are more obvious to me now that I have decided to sacrifice myself.Collection: Beautiful
The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.Collection: Sarcasm
There were only two men on the planet better educated in the various martial arts than Butler, and he was related to one of them. The other lived on an island in the South China Sea, and spent his days meditating and beating up palm trees. You had to feel sorry for the B'wa Kell.Collection: Art