Christopher Moore
As much as I encourage communication with my readers, I don't want reviews from them, simply because I don't need to be hamstrung in the middle of working on something.Collection: Communication
For me, 'Lamb' started out as a further exploration of the phenomenon of faith and the responsibility of a messiah that I touched on in 'Coyote Blue' and 'Island of the Sequined Love Nun,' but it ended up being an exploration of the true meaning of sacrifice, loyalty, and friendship.Collection: Faith
Children see magic because they look for it.Collection: Life
If you think anyone is sane you just don’t know enough about them. The key — and this is very relevant in our case — is to find someone whose insanity dovetails with your own.Collection: Thinking
Little-boy love...the cleanest pain I've ever known. Love without desire, conditions, or limits - a pure and radiant glow in the heart that could make me giddy and sad and glorious all at once. Where does it go? Why, in all their experiments, did the Magi never try to capture that purity in a bottle? Perhaps they couldn't.Collection: Pain
Sometimes this high-tech world calls for low-tech solutions.Collection: World
He loved constantly, instantly, spontaneously, without thought or words. That's what he taught me. Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell. That was his gift.Collection: Love Is
It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.Collection: Sarcasm
Unless you can change the past, you’re wasting the present on this guiltCollection: Past
Nobody's perfect... Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.Collection: Perfect
He was a writer and words were his weapons.Collection: Weapons
Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.Collection: Rose
Why understand when you can believe?Collection: Believe
Turtles hate heights. They don't even like being a few feet off the ground. It's the main reason they have resisted evolution for so long-fear of heights. Turtle thinking goes thus: Sure, first our scales turn into feathers and the next thing you know we're flying and chirping and perching on trees. We've seen it happen. Thanks, but we're staying right here in the mud where we belong. You're not going to see us flying full-tilt boogie into a sliding glass door.Collection: Hate
Blessed are the dumbfucks.Collection: Blessed
If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.Collection: Thinking
Faith isn't an act of intelligence, it's an act of imagination.Collection: Imagination
An adventure story is fear recalled in comfort.Collection: Adventure
You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don't.Collection: Thinking
One of them hissed-not the hiss of a cat, a long, steady tone-more like the hiss of air escaping the rubber raft that is all that lies between you and a dark sea full of sharks, the hiss of your life leaking out at the seams.Collection: Lying
That's the scary thing about hope," she said. "If you let it go too long it turns into faith.Collection: Long
Oh, we are but soft and squishy bags of mortality rolling in a bin of sharp circumstance, leaking life until we collapse, flaccid, into our own despair.Collection: Despair
I think I'm what they call a never-was.Collection: Thinking
Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.Collection: Children
I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.Collection: Breakfast
Science, you don't know, looks like magic.Collection: Science
What is your name?" asked Lear. Caius," said Kent. And whence do you hail?" From Bonking, sire." Well, yes, lad, as do we all," said Lear, "but from what town?Collection: Names
Angels are just pretty insects.Collection: Angel
It’s like he has this power over me—like I have an eating disorder and he’s a package of Oreo Double Stuff cookies.Collection: Eating Disorder
Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics?Collection: Song
It's Christmas! Ah, Christmas, the time when all good people go about not decapitating each other.Collection: People
One day the good times had to keep on rolling, and all of life's horseshit would turn to circuses.Collection: One Day
She laughed. My favorite music.Collection: My Favorite
Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.Collection: Whales
If there was anything I learned from John the Baptist, it was that the sooner you confess a mistake, the quicker you can get on to making new and better mistakes.Collection: Mistake
Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism.Collection: Evoke
Stop," I said. "Please do not further endorken yourself to me. You have great hair and a car that is most fly, and you have just saved me with your mad ninja driving skills, so do not sully your heroic hottie image in my mind by further reciting your nerdy scholastic agenda. Don't tell me what you're studying, Steve, tell me what's in your soul. What haunts you?" And he was like, "Dude, you need to cut back on the caffeine.Collection: Cutting
She pulled down the blanket and aimed baby Sophie's bottom at him like she might unleash a fusillade of weapons-grade poopage such as the guileless Beta Male had never seen.Collection: Baby
It turns out that one can perpetrate all manner of heinous villainy under a cloak of courtesy and good cheer. . .a man will forfeit all sensible self-interest if he finds you affable enough to share your company over a flagon of ale.Collection: Cheer
Cofishes-other fish in a group, coworkers, cohorts, etc. Shut up, it's a word.Collection: Groups
I fink I gots deaf on me willie.Collection: Deaf
I've got to think that that was unethical," Joshua said. "Josh, faking demonic possession is like a mustard seed." "How is it like a mustard seed?" "You don't know, do you? Doesn't seem at all like a mustard seed, does it? Now you see how we all feel when you liken things unto a mustard seed? Huh?Collection: Thinking
It was watching Madeline Alby eat cheese with every ounce of her being, like it was the first and best time, that made him realize that he had never really tasted cheese, or crackers, or life. And he didn't want his daughter to live that way. He'd moved her into her own room the night before...He hadn't slept well, and had gotten up five times during the night to check on her, only to find her sleeping peacefully, but he could lose a little sleep if Sophie could go through life without his fears and limitations. He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.Collection: Daughter
Chapter 8, Dinner With the Vampire: Is there something wrong with your food?" No, I'm just not very hungry." You're going to break my heart, aren't you?Collection: Heart
We really have to get going," Sam said. "Can we leave the car here and pick it up later?" The monk said, "Does a dog have a Buddha nature?" Does a fish have a watertight asshole?" said Coyote.Collection: Dog
Next out of the hall came the sisters and their husbands. Before I could say anything, the captain had clamped his hand over my mouth and was lifting me off my feet as I kicked. Cornwall made as to draw his dagger, but Regan pulled him away. "You've just won a kingdom, my duke, killing vermin is a servant's task. Leave the bitter fool stew in his own bile." She wanted me. It was clear.Collection: Husband
Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs?" -TommyCollection: Hoe
No one knows why, but second only to eating the brains of the living, the dead love affordable prefab furniture.Collection: Brain
The bat was looking at Theo and Theo was having trouble following his own thoughts.The bat was wearing tiny sunglasses.Ray Bans,Theo could see by the trademark in the corner of one lens."I'm sorry, Mr.,uh- Case, could you take the bat off your head.It's very distracting." Him." Pardon?" It's a him.Roberto.He no like the light.Collection: Sorry
The gourney, the big file drawers of the dead, the instruments of dissection - this sure looked like the morgues in the movies. Something had gone seriously wrong while she slept.Collection: Gone