Roy Blount, Jr.
I prefer my oysters fried; that way I know my oysters died.Collection: Oysters
An author is a person who can never take innocent pleasure in visiting a bookstore again.Collection: Bookstores
That's American English for you: more roots than a mangrove swamp.Collection: Roots
I think a writer is not an ideal husband... Writers tend to get off into their own heads and not notice the people that they're living with, or they get irritable with the people that they're living with when the people insist on being noticed.Collection: Husband
Pete Rose is too rich a character to fit on a bronze plaque. He requires a good, trenchant, poignant (ah, Petey) book, and this is it.Collection: Book
When I was a little kid, of course, I was brown all summer. That's because I was free as a bird- nothing to do but catch bugs all day.Collection: Summer
I always wanted to win the Super Bowl so I could take it and hold it and see what lies beyond it. I think it may be the sun.Collection: Lying
Contemporary American children, if they are old enough to grasp the concept of Santa Claus by Thanksgiving, are able to see through it by December 15th.Collection: Thanksgiving
Perhaps the truth is that heavy literature blooms in extremes of temperature.Collection: Literature
Twitter. It's not a good sound, is it? If it were worth doing, there would be a better word for it.Collection: Sound
Usage ain't always a matter of ought.Collection: Matter
The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs'.Collection: Time
Vincent van Gogh's mother painted all of his best things. The famous mailed decapitated ear was a figment of the public relations firm engaged by Van Gogh's dealer.Collection: Mother
I am open to the accusation that I see compost as an end it itself. But we do grow some real red damn tomatoes such as you can't get in the stores. And potatoes, beans, lettuce, collards, onions, squash, cauliflower, eggplant, carrots, peppers. Dirt in you own backyard, producing things you eat. Makes you wonder.Collection: Real
Obama's got a great sense of humor, but mainly he has a great thinking presence, which is uncommon. It's hard to imagine being able to do, think over answers and deliver them on television. If I were president I would constantly be spluttering.Collection: Thinking
New York walking isn't exercise: it's a continually showing make-your-own movie.Collection: New York
I’ve never thought it was necessary to make fun of people – you can find fun in people without necessarily mocking them.Collection: Fun