Marshall B. Rosenberg
Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.Collection: Communication
Our survival as a species depends on our ability to recognize that our well-being and the well-being of others are in fact one and the same.Collection: Communication
Judgments of others contribute to self-fulfilling prophecies.Collection: Communication
Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing. Instead of offering empathy, we often have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling. Empathy, however, calls upon us to empty our mind and listen to others with our whole being.Collection: Respect
Instead of playing the game "Making Life Wonderful", we often play the game called "Who's Right". Do you know that game? It's a game where everybody loses.Collection: Communication
Your presence is the most precious gift you can give to another human being.Collection: Inspirational
Empathy lies in our ability to be present without opinion.Collection: Lying
If I'm using Nonviolent Communication I never, never, never hear what somebody thinks about me. Never hear what somebody thinks about you, you'll live longer. You'll enjoy life more. Hear the truth. The truth is that when somebody's telling you what's wrong with you, the truth is they have a need that isn't getting met. Hear that they're in pain. Don't hear the analysis.Collection: Inspirational
The objective of Nonviolent Communication is not to change people and their behavior in order to get our way: it is to establish relationships based on honesty and empathy, which will eventually fulfill everyone's needs.Collection: Honesty
Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and valuesCollection: Expression
Most of us grew up speaking a language that encourages us to label, compare, demand, and pronounce judgments rather than to be aware of what we are feeling and needing.Collection: Feelings
People heal from their pain when they have an authentic connection with another human being.Collection: Pain
We are never angry because of what others say or do. It is our thinking that makes us angry.Collection: Communication
Nonviolent Communication is a way of keeping our consciousness tuned in moment by moment to that beauty within ourselves and others, and not saying anything that we think might in any way tarnish people's consciousness of their own beauty.Collection: Communication
Understanding and connection can transcend conflict.Collection: Communication
You don't have to be brilliant. It's enough to become progressively less stupid.Collection: Stupid
Please do as I requested, only if you can do so with the joy of a little child feeding a hungry duck. Please do not do as I request if there is any taint of fear of punishment if you don't. Please do not do as I request to buy my love, that, is hoping that I will love you more if you do. Please do not do as I request if you will feel guilty if you don't. Please do not do as I request if you will feel shameful. And certainly do not do as I request out of any sense of duty or obligation.Collection: Children
Peace requires something far more difficult than revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people to attack each other. Being aware of these feelings and needs, people lose their desire to attack back because they can see the human ignorance leading to these attacks; instead, their goal becomes providing the empathic connection and education that will enable them to transcend their violence and engage in cooperative relationships.Collection: Revenge
NO is always a YES to something else.Collection: Communication
Fear of punishment diminishes self-esteem and goodwill.Collection: Self Esteem
Don't hate the circumstance, you may miss the blessingCollection: Hate
All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.Collection: Encouragement
Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.Collection: Zero
At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.Collection: Anger
Criticism, analysis, and insults are tragic expressions of unmet needs.Collection: Communication
When it comes to giving advice, never do so unless you've first received a request in writing, signed by a lawyer.Collection: Communication
When we listen for feelings and needs - we can see that people who seem like monsters are simply human beings whose language and behavior sometimes keep us from seeing their humanness.Collection: People
Anger, depression, guilt, and shame are the product of the thinking that is at the base of violence on our planet.Collection: Communication
NVC suggests behind every action, however ineffective, tragic, violent, or abhorrent to us, is an attempt to meet a need.Collection: Communication
Empathy before education.Collection: Communication
People don't make us angry, how we think makes us angry.Collection: Communication
Never hear what somebody thinks about you, you'll live longer. Hear that they're in pain. Don't hear their analysis.Collection: Pain
A need is life seeking expression within us.Collection: Communication
Be very slow to go into looking for solutions.Collection: Communication
Natural Giving: Anything we do in life which is not out of that energy, we pay for and everybody else pays for. Anything we do to avoid punishment, everybody pays for. Everything we do for a reward, everybody pays for. Everything we do to make people like us, everybody pays for. Everything we do out of guilt, shame, duty, or obligation, everybody pays for.Collection: Communication
Don't get addicted to your requests. Your objective is needs, not requests. Because then it becomes a demand.Collection: Communication
All moralistic judgments, whether positive or negative, are tragic expressions of unmet needs.Collection: Communication
Every message, regardless of form or content, is an expression of a need.Collection: Communication
Fix-it jackals can't wait to fix it, because they don't know how to enjoy pain. And until you learn how to enjoy pain, you can't enjoy intimacy.Collection: Pain
NVC enhances inner communication by helping us translate negative internal messages into feelings and needs. Our ability to distinguish our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression.Collection: Communication
You'll find people less threatening if you hear what they're needing rather than what they're thinking about you.Collection: Thinking About You
I never have to worry about another person's response, only how I react to what they say.Collection: Communication
We are compassionate with ourselves when we are able to embrace all parts of ourselves and recognize the needs and values expressed by each part.Collection: Communication
Learning is too precious to be motivated by coercive tactics.Collection: Communication
When we hear the other person's feelings and needs, we recognize our common humanity.Collection: Common Humanity
Never question the beauty of what you are saying because someone reacts with pain, judgment, criticism. It just means they have not heard you.Collection: Pain
It's never what people do that makes us angry; it's what we tell ourselves about what they did.Collection: Anger
Any evaluation which implies rightness or wrongness is a tragic, suicidal expression of an unmet need. Tragic, first because it decreases our likelihood of getting our need met! Even if we think it. And secondly, because it increases the likelihood of violence. That's why I'm suggesting any evaluation which implies rightness or wrongness is a tragic, suicidal expression of an unmet need. Say the need! Learn a need-consciousness.Collection: Communication
Keep in mind that other people's actions can never 'make' you feel any certain way. Feelings are your warning indicators.Collection: Communication
We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences.Collection: Communication