Marshall B. Rosenberg
Miracles can happen when we can keep our consciousness away from analyzing and classifying one another.Collection: Communication
We need empathy to give empathy.Collection: Giving
Our goal is to create a quality of empathic connection that allows everyone's needs to be met.Collection: Goal
Once you can clearly describe what you are reacting to, free of your interpretation or evaluation of it, other people are less likely to be defensive when they hear it.Collection: Communication
We know the speaker has received adequate empathy when a. we sense a release of tension, or b. the flow of words comes to a halt.Collection: Communication
Anger can be a wonderful wake up call to help you understand what you need and what you value.Collection: Communication
How I choose to look at any situation will greatly affect whether I have the power to change it or make matters worse.Collection: Communication
Use the words "I feel because I" to remind us that what we feel it isn't because of what the other person did, but because of a choice I've made.Collection: Communication
As we learn to speak from the heart we are changing the habits of a lifetime.Collection: Communication
When we judge others we contribute to violence.Collection: Communication
When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings.Collection: Feelings
The more we use words that in any way imply criticism, the more difficult it is for people to stay connected to the beauty within themselves.Collection: Communication
Conventional compliments often take the form of judgments however positive, and are sometimes offered to manipulate the behavior of others. NVC encourages the expression of appreciation solely for celebration.Collection: Appreciation
We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves.Collection: People
Any time you throw pain at a Jackal without a clear present request, within a millisecond he'll jump in.Collection: Pain
The spirituality that we need to develop for social change is one that mobilizes us for social change.Collection: Communication
Empathizing with someone's 'no' protects us from taking it personally.Collection: Empathy
With empathy we don't direct, we follow. Don't just do something, be there.Collection: Empathy
Postpone result/solution thinking until later; it's through connection that solutions materialize - empathy before education.Collection: Thinking
The number one rule of our training is empathy before education.Collection: Numbers
People do not hear our pain when they believe they are at fault.Collection: Pain
If people just asked: "Here are the needs of both sides, here are the resources. What can be done to meet these needs?" the conflict would be easy to resolve.Collection: People
The intention behind the protective use of force is to prevent injury, never to punish or to cause individuals to suffer, repent or change.Collection: Communication
Ask before offering advice or reassurance.Collection: Communication
Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.Collection: Communication
We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred.Collection: Communication
Compliments and praise, for their part, are tragic expressions of fulfilled needsCollection: Communication
NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.Collection: Communication
It may be most difficult to empathize with those we are closest to.Collection: Empathy
NVC self-forgiveness: connecting with the need we were trying to meet when we took the action that we now regret.Collection: Regret
What bores the listener bores the speaker too.Collection: Bores
You're going to lose it when you follow the world "feel" with the words "because I think". Any time you are thinking, your chance of getting what you need is greatly decreased, especially when you follow the word "think" with the word "you". I predict you won't only not get heard, but I predict a defensive aggressive reaction.Collection: Communication
Once you have access to key people in an organization, if you go into a meeting with enemy images of those people - then you are not going to connect.Collection: Communication
Unless we as social change agents come from a certain spirituality, we're likely to create more harm than good.Collection: Communication
Nonviolent Communication shows us a way of being very honest, but without any criticism, without any insults, without any put-downs, without any intellectual diagnosis implying wrongness.Collection: Communication
It's really a spiritual practice that I am trying to show as a way of life.Collection: Spiritual
Getting in touch with unmet needs is important to the healing process.Collection: Communication
I have tried to integrate the spirituality into the training in a way that meets my need not to destroy the beauty of it through abstract philosophizing.Collection: Training
I believe that the most joyful and intrinsic motivation human beings have for taking any action is the desire to meet our needs and the needs of others.Collection: Motivation
Make your goal to attend to your underlying needs and to aim for a resolution so satisfying that everyone involved has their needs met also.Collection: Communication
We recognize that real educational reform is essential if today's and tomorrow's children are to live in a more peaceful, just, and sustainable world.Collection: Children
Before we tackle the gangs and the basic story, we have to make sure that we have liberated ourselves from how we have been educated and make sure we are coming from a spirituality of our own choosing.Collection: Communication
Empathize with silence by listening for the feelings and needs behind it.Collection: Communication
If we become skilled in giving ourselves empathy, we often experience in just a few seconds a natural release of energy which then enables us to be present with the other person. If this fails to happen, however, we have a couple of other choices.Collection: Couple
The more we empathize with the other party, the safer we feel.Collection: Party
Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation.Collection: Sweet
In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.Collection: Communication
We give empathy to others for our own benefit.Collection: Communication
However impressed we may be with NVC concepts, it is only through practice and application that our lives are transformed.Collection: Communication