Top Humorous Quotes Collection - Page 7
Discover a curated collection of Humorous quotes. Find inspiration, motivation, and wisdom from the best quotes in this category. Page 7 provides more Humorous quotes.
He that drinks beer, thinks beer.Collection: Humorous
And the only people I fear are those who never have doubts... Save us all from arrogant men, and all the causes they're for.Collection: Humorous
When I was born, I was almost fourteen years old. That's why I was able to understand more easily than most what it was all about.Collection: Humorous
Gimme a pigfoot and a bottle of beer.Collection: Humorous
Humor is almost always anger with its make-up on.Collection: Humorous
Though she doesn't remember any trauma, she said that her parents told her she cried on a daily basis and her grandmother resorted to passing out candy so the kids would play with her. Though it was a humorous moment, Mila said, "I know, God bless her. She's an amazing, amazing woman."Collection: Humorous
My wife loves Europe, but to me it's a bad day at a theme park.Collection: Humorous
If "ifs" and "ands" were pots and pans, there'd be no work for tinkers' handsCollection: Humorous
There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.Collection: Humorous
Well, it may be humorous to you, but it’s a very serious matter to the squirrels.Collection: Humorous
Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.Collection: Humorous
Come, let us hasten to a higher plane, Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn, Their indices bedecked from one to _ n, Commingled in an endless Markov chain!Collection: Humorous
In Riemann, Hilbert or in Banach space Let superscripts and subscripts go their ways. Our symptotes no longer out of phase, We shall encounter, counting, face to face.Collection: Humorous
Cancel me not - for what then shall remain? Abscissas, some mantissas, modules, modes, A root or two, a torus and a node: The inverse of my verse, a null domain.Collection: Humorous
Hark, the Herald Tribune sings, Advertising wondrous things!Collection: Humorous
Wood heat is not new. It dates back to a day millions of years ago, when a group of cavemen were sitting around, watching dinosaurs rot. Suddenly, lightning struck a nearby log and set it on fire. One of the cavemen stared at the fire for a few minutes, then said: Hey! Wood heat! The other cavemen, who did not understand English, immediately beat him to death with stones. But the key discovery had been made, and from that day forward, the cavemen had all the heat they needed, although their insurance rates went way up.Collection: Humorous
Infiniti ads are part of an exciting new trend called "Advertising Whose Sole Purpose Is to Irritate You."Collection: Humorous
Advertising is like learning - a little is a dangerous thing.Collection: Humorous
What I like best about the telephone is that it keeps you in touch with people, particularly people who want to sell you magazine subscriptions in the middle of the night.Collection: Humorous
The easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish cake, then pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet. Be sure to wear safety glasses.Collection: Humorous
Don't call me when you're stuck in traffic. It's not my fault that radio sucks and did it ever occur to you that there wouldn't be so much traffic if people like you put down the phone and concentrated on the road... besides I can't talk now, I'm in the car behind you trying to watch a DVD.Collection: Humorous
I like to be as diverse as possible. I think the humorous side and the serious side are both elements of my personality. It's what makes me who I am and if I was to neglect either one of those sides and just focus on one of them, it wouldn't be the full spectrum of my personality.Collection: Humorous
All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.Collection: Humorous
We're deep into the holiday gift-giving season, as you can tell from the fact that everywhere you look, you see jolly old St. Nick urging you to purchase things, to the point where you want to slug him right in his bowl full of jelly.Collection: Humorous
Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands of dollars: For several days before you put it in the mail, carry your tax return around under your armpit. No IRS agent is going to want to spend hours poring over a sweat-stained document. So even if you owe money, you can put in for an enormous refund and the agent will probably give it to you, just to avoid an audit. What does he care? It's not his money.Collection: Humorous
There are two kinds of solar-heat systems: passive systems collect the sunlight that hits your home, and active systems collect the sunlight that hits your neighbors' homes, too.Collection: Humorous
The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.Collection: Humorous
You men out there probably think you already know how to dress for success. You know, for example, that you should not wear leisure suits or white plastic belts and shoes, unless you are going to a costume party disguised as a pig farmer vacationing at Disney World.Collection: Humorous
WARNING: This is assuming your spouse's name is Margaret.Collection: Humorous
Many, many of you have written to me asking the following question: 'Dave, have their been any new advancements in the field of artificial falcon insemination, and could these developments be used to improve the American electoral process?'Collection: Humorous
As a profession advertising is young; as a force it is as old as the world. The first four words ever uttered, Let there be light, constitute its charter. All nature is vibrant with its impulse.Collection: Humorous