Top Humorous Quotes Collection - Page 5
Discover a curated collection of Humorous quotes. Find inspiration, motivation, and wisdom from the best quotes in this category. Page 5 provides more Humorous quotes.
I don't do what I'm told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely.Collection: Humorous
There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.Collection: Humorous
I hope we're not just human garbage drifting toward a big sewer. But I think so.Collection: Humorous
You can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you better know something.Collection: Humorous
We're not supposed to mention f***ing in mixed company, but that's exactly where it takes place.Collection: Humorous
I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.Collection: Humorous
As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.Collection: Humorous
Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting.Collection: Humorous
If you are writing about baloney, don't try and make it Cornish hen, because that's the worst kind of baloney there is. Just make it darn good baloney.Collection: Humorous
Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people actually cook that stuff?Collection: Humorous
Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.Collection: Humorous
Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another, "Get this asshole outta here!"Collection: Humorous
I don't even know what street Canada is on.Collection: Humorous
Professional soldiers are people who die for a living.Collection: Humorous
I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.Collection: Humorous
Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.Collection: Humorous
We're wanted men, we'll strike again, but first let's have a beer.Collection: Humorous
In the doggie dictionary, under "bow wow" it says, "See "arf arf.""Collection: Humorous
Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reasonCollection: Humorous
I'm tired of hearing about innocent victims. It's fiction, If you live on this planet you're guilty, period, f*** you, next case, end of report. Your birth certificate is proof of guilt.Collection: Humorous
When I was young I used to read about the decline of Western civilization, and I decided it was something I would like to make a contribution to.Collection: Humorous
A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.Collection: Humorous
A pear is a failed apple.Collection: Humorous
When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.Collection: Humorous
Humorists are not humorous twenty-four hours a day. In fact, when you get to know them well, they are often not humorous at all. They tend to be hypersensitive, taut, neurotic creatures driven by God know what obscure compulsion to earn their living the hard way.Collection: Humorous
McDonald's breakfast for under a dollar is actually more expensive than that. You have to factor in the cost of bypass surgery.Collection: Humorous
I don't mind flying. I always pass out before the plane leaves the ground.Collection: Humorous
It was pleasant to me to get a letter from you the other day. Perhaps I should have found it pleasanter if I had been able to decipher it. I don't think that I mastered anything beyond the date (which I knew) and the signature (which I guessed at). There's a singular and a perpetual charm in a letter of yours; it never grows old, it never loses its novelty. Other letters are read and thrown away and forgotten, but yours are kept forever - unread. One of them will last a reasonable man a lifetime.Collection: Humorous
The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.Collection: Humorous
We all operate in two contrasting modes, which might be called open and closed. The open mode is more relaxed, more receptive, more exploratory, more democratic, more playful and more humorous. The closed mode is the tighter, more rigid, more hierarchical, more tunnel-visioned. Most people, unfortunately spend most of their time in the closed mode.Collection: Humorous
I love making people laugh, and to be able to be that humorous character was great. And I actually was very similar to Neville Longbottom. I was very shy and chubby-cheeked. I wasn't bullied at school, but I wasn't particularly outgoing. We were similar. And so I loved playing him.Collection: Humorous
The devil is not, indeed, perfectly humorous, but that is only because he is the extreme of all humor.Collection: Humorous
There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.Collection: Humorous
I really can't think about kissing when I've got a rebellion to incite.Collection: Humorous
Everything serious that he says is a joke and everything humorous that he says is dead serious.Collection: Humorous
I was able to read poets that were - allowed me to be humorous without being silly.Collection: Humorous
You have to find the tone of the piece and modulate that. There are ways to indicate that - I try to incorporate the biggest range I can within the story, going from humorous to serious without it being jarring. That's the hardest part, to keep that balance. It requires being constantly aware of where you are in the story. You can't really do that in a movie: You can't slightly modulate the tone by the way the character's eyeballs look in one certain scene.Collection: Humorous
If you are watching my films and wondering, am I missing humorous speak because I'm not Korean? Am I missing out? You don't have to worry, because you're only missing probably about a few cents worth out of your ticket price.Collection: Humorous
In my creative films, if there was something, some humorous moment that is lost to a non-Korean speaking audience, I'll be very sad.Collection: Humorous
PL/1, the fatal disease, belongs more to the problem set than to the solution set.Collection: Humorous
Saturday night in Toledo Ohio, Is like being nowhere at all, All through the day how the hours rush by, You sit in the park and you watch the grass die.Collection: Humorous
No. Now, shut up and eat your pears.Collection: Humorous
Technically, I am unarmed. But no one should ever underestimate the harm that fingernails can do. Especially if the target is unprepared.Collection: Humorous
If you appeal to the crowd, either by being humorous or brutal or eccentric, you gain favor.Collection: Humorous
I'm easily persuaded that a really good novelist who gets inside somebody else's head could be serving a valuable purpose. I enjoy satirical novels that take a wry, humorous, ironic look at modern life.Collection: Humorous
I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.Collection: Humorous
The unexpected has happened so continually in my life that it has ceased to deserve the name.Collection: Humorous
As I get older and write more books I'm definitely allowing the humorous side of my personality more rein in my work.Collection: Humorous
I trust that age doth not wither nor custom stale my infinite variety.Collection: Humorous