Top Humorous Quotes Collection - Page 6
Discover a curated collection of Humorous quotes. Find inspiration, motivation, and wisdom from the best quotes in this category. Page 6 provides more Humorous quotes.
Might I trouble you to open the window, for chloroform vapour does not help the palate.Collection: Humorous
Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else unless it is an enemy.Collection: Humorous
Well, sir, let us do what we can to curtail this visit, which can hardly be agreeable to you, and is inexpressibly irksome to me.Collection: Humorous
I think you want a little unofficial help. Three undetected murders in one year won't do, Lestrade. But you handled the Molesey Mystery with less than your usual - that's to say, you handled it fairly well.Collection: Humorous
Living, as I do, in an educated and scientific atmosphere, I could not have conceived that the first principles of zoology were so little known. Is it possible that you do not know the elementary fact in comparative anatomy, that the wing of a bird is really the forearm, while the wing of a bat consists of three elongated fingers with membranes between?Collection: Humorous
I am engaged in answering that Italian buffoon, Mazotti, whose views upon the larval development of the tropical termites have excited my derision and contempt . . .Collection: Humorous
We had got as far as this, when who should walk in but the gentleman himself, who had been drinking his beer in the taproom and had heard the whole conversation. Who was I? What did I want? What did I mean by asking questions? He had a fine flow of language, and his adjectives were very vigorous.Collection: Humorous
One dumb-bell, Watson! Consider an athlete with one dumb-bell. Picture to yourself the unilateral development - the imminent danger of a spinal curvature. Shocking, Watson, shocking!Collection: Humorous
"I have seen those symptoms before," said Holmes, throwing his cigarette into the fire. "Oscillation upon the pavement always means an affaire de coeur."Collection: Humorous
Love has been taken away from the poets, and has been brought within the domain of true science. It may prove to be one of the great cosmic elementary forces. When the atom of hydrogen draws the atom of chlorine towards it to form the perfected molecule of hydrochloric acid, the force which it exerts may be intrinsically similar to that which draws me to you. Attraction and repulsion appear to be the primary forces. This is attraction.Collection: Humorous
Detection is, or ought to be, an exact science, and should be treated in the same cold and unemotional manner. You have attempted to tinge it with romanticism, which produces much the same effect as if you worked a love-story or an elopement into the fifth proposition of Euclid.Collection: Humorous
I see all. I hear all. I know all. And I spend a great deal of time in the bathroom.Collection: Humorous
I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.Collection: Humorous
"There are one or two elementary rules to be observed in the way of handling patients," he remarked, seating himself on the table and swinging his legs. "The most obvious is that you must never let them see that you want them. It should be pure condescension on your part seeing them at all; and the more difficulties you throw in the way of it, the more they think of it. Break your patients in early, and keep them well to heel."Collection: Humorous
And yet the motives of women are so inscrutable. You remember the woman at Margate whom I suspected for the same reason. No powder on her nose - that proved to be the correct solution. How can you build on such a quicksand? Their most trivial action may mean volumes, or their most extraordinary conduct may depend upon a hairpin or a curling tongs.Collection: Humorous
Well, I'm a bacteriologist, you know. I live in a nine-hundred-diameter microscope. I can hardly claim to take serious notice of anything that I can see with my naked eye.Collection: Humorous
The less experienced a doctor is, the higher are his notions of professional dignity . . .Collection: Humorous
I feel that there is reason lurking in you somewhere, so we will patiently grope round for it.Collection: Humorous
I'm really interested in the link between creativity and humor because humor is a type of creativity, and I do think that humorous people and humorous health helps creativity.Collection: Humorous
I am realistic – I expect miracles.Collection: Humorous
The theoretical broadening which comes from having many humanities subjects on the campus is offset by the general dopiness of the people who study these things.Collection: Humorous
He had never seen a woman doctor before, and his whole conservative soul rose up in revolt at the idea. He could not recall any biblical injunction that the man should remain ever the doctor and the woman the nurse, and yet he felt as if a blasphemy had been committed.Collection: Humorous
"Dr. Munro, sir," said he, "I am a walking museum. You could fit what ISN'T the matter with me on to the back of a -- visiting card. If there's any complaint you want to make a special study of, just you come to me, sir, and see what I can do for you. It's not every one that can say that he has had cholera three times, and cured himself by living on red pepper and brandy."Collection: Humorous
The sky was of the deepest blue, with a few white, fleecy clouds drifting lazily across it, and the air was filled with the low drone of insects or with a sudden sharper note as bee or bluefly shot past with its quivering, long-drawn hum, like an insect tuning-fork.Collection: Humorous
Mary's mouth cost her nothing for she never opens it but at others' expense.Collection: Humorous
The good or ill hap of a good or ill life, is the good or ill choice of a good or ill wife.Collection: Humorous
The telephone is the greatest single enemy of scholarship; for what our intellectual forebears used to inscribe in ink now goes once over a wire into permanent oblivion.Collection: Humorous
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.Collection: Humorous
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.Collection: Humorous
Though philosophers like to define poetry as irrational fancy, for us it is practical, humorous, reasonable way of being ourselves.Collection: Humorous
A flatterer never seems absurd: The flatter'd always takes his word.Collection: Humorous
He's gone, and forgot nothing but to say farewell to his creditorsCollection: Humorous
Go to humorous events at comedy clubs and watch laughable movies.Collection: Humorous
music
The tongue offends and the ears get the cuffingCollection: Humorous
The poor have little; beggars, none; the rich, too much; enough, not one.Collection: Humorous
Well, that's your opinion, isn't it? And I'm not about to waste my time trying to change it.Collection: Humorous
This is for all ill-treated fellows Unborn and unbegot, For them to read when they're in trouble And I am not.Collection: Humorous
Close friends and relatives, while not meaning to do so, often handicap on through 'opinions' and sometimes though ridicule, which is meant to be humorous. Thousands of men and women carry inferiority complexes with them all through life, because some well-meaning, but ignorant person destroyed their confidence through opinions or ridiculeCollection: Humorous
If you want to know how old a woman is . . . ask her sister-in-law.Collection: Humorous
It is considered in England and the United States that the Government of South Africa is altogether too harsh with its native peoples. It is sadly humorous to notice that the native in South Africa, however, holds an exactly reverse opinion and the fault he finds with the South African Government is that it is far too lenient in its administration of laws throughout the native populace.Collection: Humorous
I decided to stop drinking with creeps. I decided to drink only with friends. I've lost 30 pounds.Collection: Humorous
The stupider the regime the more intelligent the people get and the more humorous.Collection: Humorous
Reconnecting to the animal means getting to a more sensitive, more artful and more humorous place in the psyche.Collection: Humorous
They didn't trademark everything back then. Now someone farts and they put a TM after it. Even Miller Lite says 'A Fine Pilsner Beer' on the label. It is a crime.Collection: Humorous
Thanks to the acuteness of his mind, he saw through the poverty of philosophical and Gnostic knowledge, and contemptuously rejected it.Collection: Humorous
Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?Collection: Humorous