Robin Williams
I only ever play Vegas one night at a time.Collection: Night
I learned that by being entertaining you make a connection with another person.Collection: Connections
Men may have wars, but women have their period. Men go off and kill each other, but women say nasty things, which is even better.Collection: War
Women have so many levels. There's the physical level, which is a lot of fun. There's this emotional level, which is extremely mercurial.Collection: Fun
When you have a great audience, you can just keep going and finding new things.Collection: Philosophy
Canadian money is also called the loony. How can you take an economic crisis seriously?Collection: Economic
I had one or two steady girlfriends in high school, but then in college, it was three, four... I went crazy. At one point I had three separate girlfriends, running around mad.Collection: Running
Cable is not bound because people pay for it. It's literally a choice, that's the operative word. If you don't like the language, if cocksucker offends you, then turn it off.Collection: People
Mickey Mouse to a three-year-old is a six-foot-tall RAT!Collection: Years
Humor is a great defense, and an offense too. Usually the recipient isn't too happy about it, but the people around are laughing.Collection: People
The only weapon we have is comedy.Collection: Philosophy
They're talking about partial nuclear disarmament, which is also like talking about partial circumcision - you either go all the way or forget it.Collection: Talking
My comedy is like emotional hang-gliding.Collection: Emotional
My preference is live performance, because you get the feedback. There's an energy. It's live theater. That's why I think actors like that.Collection: Thinking
I know size can be daunting but don't be afraid.Collection: Size
It's the same sex all the time.Collection: Sex
I love being backstage, or doing littler things like Blame Canada.Collection: Love Is
In truth I never really liked any of the heavy drugs, because normally my energy is up when I'm performing, and that's about it. Cocaine is nothing new. It's the pressure, I think. People use it to relieve that, and for me it is about getting numb and forgetting. I have a reverse metabolic reaction to the stuff.Collection: Thinking
What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees?Collection: Inspiration
Ah...so many pedestrians, so little time...Collection: Littles
In California, we are a sixty percent Hispanic state, we elected an Austrian governor. Even old Nazis are going "That's weird."Collection: California
I always wanted to play a big, black man, but that would cost too much make-up.Collection: Men
If we were interested in making money, we wouldn't have become teachers.Collection: Teacher
It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lampCollection: Inspiration
We're not laughing at you - we're laughing near youCollection: Inspiration
You'd think all of these "atypical" somethings would add up to a typical somethingCollection: Inspiration
My God, look at the size of this man! Quick! Tell the other villagers we're going back to the boats!Collection: Men
[On creating] And you get that little endorphin buzz, it's great. Why do you think Einstein looked like that? I don't think he was going "You know this is some dynamite weed! It's all relative you know."Collection: Weed
I couldn't imagine living the way I used to live. Now people come up to me from the drug days and go, 'Hi, remember me?' And I'm going, 'No, did I have sex with you? Did I take a dump in your tool box?'Collection: Sex
Ronald Reagan is the world's largest Muppet.Collection: World
She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each otherCollection: Perfect
Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift.Collection: Inspirational
What some folks call impossible is just stuff they haven't seen before.Collection: Stuff
Our job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death.Collection: Jobs
Please, don't worry so much. Because in the end, none of us have very long on this Earth. Life is fleeting.Collection: Philosophy
I try to make sense of things. Which is why, I guess, I believe in destiny. There must be a reason that I am as I am. There must be.Collection: Believe
And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents, come on! He works in his father's business, his mom thought he was God's gift, he's Jewish! Give it up!Collection: Funny
When I was growing up they used to say, "Robin, drugs can kill you." Now that I'm 58 my doctor's telling me, "Robin, you need drugs to live." I realize now that my doctor is also my dealer.Collection: Funny
A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.Collection: Memorable
The things we fear the most have already happened to us.Collection: Happened
Change is not popular; we are creatures of habit as human beings. 'I want it to be the way it was.' But if you continue the way it was there will be no 'is.'Collection: Want
The human body was designed by a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area ?Collection: Running
Sometimes you can have a whole lifetime in a day and never notice that this is a beautiful as it gets.Collection: Beautiful
There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.Collection: Wise
I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.Collection: Carpe Diem
When you create you get a little endorphin rush. Why do you think Einstein looked like that?Collection: Creativity
Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me.Collection: Summer
If you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? Carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.Collection: Meaningful
You need a touch of madness, just enough that you don't become stupid!Collection: Stupid