Rachel Naomi Remen

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Life offers its wisdom generously. Everything teaches. Not everyone learns. Life asks of us the same thing we have been asked in every class: "Stay awake." "Pay attention." But paying attention is no simple matter. It requires us not to be distracted by expectations, past experiences, labels, and masks. It asks that we not jump to early conclusions and that we remain open to surprise.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Past
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Our listening creates a sanctuary for the homeless parts within another person.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Compassion
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Our wounds are our sources of growth.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Growth
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In the silence of listening, you can know yourself in everyone, the unseen singing softly to itself and to you.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Silence
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What we do to survive is often different from what we may need to do in order to live.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Order
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In our instinctive attachments, our fear of change, and our wish for certainty and permanence, we may undercut the impermanence which is our greatest strength, our most fundamental identity. Without impermanence, there is no process. The nature of life is change. All hope is based on process.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Change
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Anger is just a demand for change, a passionate wish for things to be different.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Anger
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If you carry someone else's fears and live by someone else's values, you may find that you have lived their lives.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: May
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When we listen, we offer with our attention an opportunity for wholeness.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Opportunity
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We usually look outside ourselves for heroes and teachers. It has not occurred to most people that they may already be the role model they seek. The wholeness they are looking for may be trapped within themselves by beliefs, attitudes, and self-doubt. But our wholeness exists in us now. Trapped though it may be, it can be called upon for guidance, direction, and most fundamentally, comfort. It can be remembered. Eventually we may come to live by it.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Teacher
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Goose bumps happen when your soul is close to you, breathing lightly on the back of your neck, and wakes you up.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Breathing
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The spiritual is inclusive. It is the deepest sense of belonging and participation.We all participate in the spiritual at all times, whether we know it or not.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Spiritual
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A woman once told me that she did not feel the need to reach out to those around her because she prayed every day. Surely, this was enough. But a prayer is about our relationship to God; a blessing is about our relationship to the spark of God in one another. God may not need our attention as badly as the person next to us on the bus or behind us in line in the supermarket. Everyone in the world matters, and so do their blessings. When we bless others, we offer them refuge from an indifferent world.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Prayer
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When we haven't the time to listen to each other's stories we seek out experts to tell us how to live. The less time we spend together at the kitchen table, the more how-to books appear in the stores and on our bookshelves. But reading such books is a very different thing than listening to someone' s lived experience. Because we have stopped listening to each other we may even have forgotten how to listen, stopped learning how to recognize meaning and fill ourselves from the ordinary events of our lives. We have become solitary; readers and watchers rather than sharers and participants.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Book
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God's presence. . . is an inner experience that never changes. It's a relationship that's there all the time, even when we're not paying attention to it. Perhaps the Infinite holds us to Itself in the same way the earth does. Like gravity, if it ever stopped we would know it instantly. But it never does.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: God
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Prayer is not a way to get what we want to happen, like the remote control that comes with the television set. I think that prayer may be less about asking for the things we are attached to than it is about relinquishing our attachments in some way. It can take us beyond fear, which is an attachment, and beyond hope, which is another form of attachment. It can help us remember the nature of the world and the nature of life, not on an intellectual level but in a deep and experiential way. When we pray, we don't change the world, we change ourselves. We change our consciousness.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Prayer
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Mystery has great power. In the many years I have worked with people with cancer, I have seen Mystery comfort people when nothing else can comfort them and offer hope when nothing else offers hope. I have seen Mystery heal fear that is otherwise unhealable. For years I have watched people in their confrontation with the unknown recover awe, wonder, joy, and aliveness. They have remembered that life is holy, and they have reminded me as well. In losing our sense of Mystery, we have become a nation of burned-out people. People who wonder do not burn out.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Cancer
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We have become terribly vulnerable, not because we suffer but because we have separated ourselves from each other. A patient once told me that he had tried to ignore his own suffering and the suffering of other people because he had wanted to be happy. Yet becoming numb to suffering will not make us happy. The part in us that feels suffering is the same as the part that feels joy.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Suffering Of Others
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Life is known only by those who have found a way to be comfortable with change and the unknown. Given the nature of life, there may be no security, but only adventure.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Life
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At the deepest level, the creative process and the healing process arise from a single source. When you are an artist, you are a healer; a wordless trust of the same mystery is the foundation of your work and its integrity.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Art
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Until we stop ourselves or, more often, have been stopped, we hope to put certain of life's events "behind us" and get on with our living. After we stop we see that certain of life's issues will be with us for as long as we live. We will pass through them again and again, each time with a new story, each time with a greater understanding, until they become indistinguishable from our blessings and our wisdom. It's the way life teaches us to live.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Wisdom
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I have no idea about what death is, but because I have been in association with it so intimately, I have a much greater sense of the value of life and of what life can be.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Inspirational
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When we pray, we don't change the world, we change ourselves.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Prayer
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Fear is the friction in all transitions.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Fear
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Freedom is as frightening now as it was thousands of years ago. It will always require a willingness to sacrifice what is most familiar for what is most true. To be free we may need to act from integrity, on trust, sometimes for a very long time. Few of us will reach our promised land in a day. But perhaps the most important part of the story is that God does not delegate this task. Whenever anyone moves toward freedom, God Himself is there.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Freedom
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The worst thing that happens in life is not death. The worst thing would be to miss it. . . . I think the great danger in life is not showing up.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Inspirational
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Those who wish to change things may face disappointment, loss, or even ridicule. If you are ahead of your time, people laugh as often as they applaud, and being there first is usually lonely. But our protection cannot come between us and our purpose. Right protection is something within us rather than something between us and the world, more about finding a place of refuge and strength than finding a hiding place.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Spiritual
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An unanswered question is a fine traveling companion. It sharpens your eye for the road.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Eye
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We are, in a certain way, defined as much by our potential as by its expression. There is a great difference between an acorn and a little bit of wood carved into an acorn shape, a difference not always readily apparent to the naked eye. The difference is there even if the acorn never has the opportunity to plant itself and become an oak. Remembering its potential changes the way in which we think of the acorn and react to it. How we value it. If an acorn were conscious, knowing its potential would change the way that it might think and feel about itself.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Eye
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We may need to let go of our beliefs and ideas about life in order to have life.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Life
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Facts bring us to knowledge, but stories lead to wisdom.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Stories
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If we fear loss enough, in the end the things we possess will come to possess us.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Loss
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Unexplained pain may sometimes direct our attention to something unacknowledged, something we are afraid to know or feel. Then it holds us to our integrity, claiming the attention we withhold. The thing which calls our attention may be a repressed experience or some unexpressed and important part of who we are. Whatever we have denied may stop us and dam the creative flow of our lives. Avoiding pain, we may linger in the vicinity of our wounds, sometime for many years, gathering the courage to experience them.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Pain
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It is said that the Christian mystic Theresa of Avila found difficulty at first in reconciling the vastness of the life of the spirit with the mundane tasks of her Carmelite convent: the washing of pots, the sweeping of floors, the folding of laundry. At some point of grace, the mundane became for her a sort of prayer, a way she could experience her ever-present connection to the divine pattern which is the source of life. She began then to see the face of God in the folded sheets.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Christian
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Our purpose in life is to grow in wisdom and in love.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Purpose
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Most of us encounter a great deal more Mystery than we are willing to experience. Sometimes knowing life requires us to suspend disbelief, to recognize that all our hard-won knowledge may only be provisional and the world may be quite different than we believe it to be. This can be very stressful, even frightening. But if we are not willing to wonder, we may have to hang up the phone on life.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Believe
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It is not that we have a soul, but that we are a soul.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Soul
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I had thought joy to be rather synonymous with happiness, but it seems now to be far less vulnerable than happiness. Joy seems to be a part of an unconditional wish to live, not holding back because life may not meet our preferences and expectations. Joy seems to be a function of the willingness to accept the whole, and to show up to meet with whatever is there. It has a kind of invincibility that attachment to any particular outcome would deny us.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Attachment
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It has been said that sometimes we need a story more than food in order to live. p 374
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Order
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For many years now I have listened to the stories of people with cancer and other life-threatening illnesses as their counselor. From them I have learned how to enjoy the minute particulars of life once again, the grace of a hot cup of coffee, the presence of a friend, the blessing of having a new cake of soap or an hour without pain. Such humble experience is the stuff that many of the very best stories are made of. If we think we have no stories it is because we have not paid enough attention to our lives. Most of us live lives that are far richer and more meaningful than we appreciate.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Meaningful
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Chances are that any helpful two-year-old will break some eggs. We are often not very good at things when we are new. But there may be an important choice to make at such moments. Do we support and protect the innate wish to be of help to others in our children, or do we protect the eggs? Hard as it seems, the greater mother wisdom may lie in a willingness to clean up broken eggs or replace a mitten and a box of crayons.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Mother
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Perhaps wisdom is simply a matter of waiting, and healing a question of time. And anything good you've ever been given is yours forever.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Life
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From a good teacher you may learn the secret of listening. You will never learn the secret of life. You will have to listen for yourself
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Life
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People have the natural capacity to affirm and embrace life in the most difficult of circumstances.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Courage
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Suffering shapes the life force, sometimes into anger, sometimes into blame and self-pity. Eventually it may show us the wisdom of embracing and loving life.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Loving Life
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The way towards freedom from a situation often lies in acceptance of the situation.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Lying
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Our limitations serve, our wounds serve, even our darkness can serve.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Sunset
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How strange to think that great pain may be impermanent. Something in us all seems to want to carve it in granite, as if only this would do full honor to its terrible significance. But even pain is blessed with impermanence... p 259
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Pain
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The choice people have to make is never between slavery and freedom. We will always have to choose between slavery and the unknown.
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Collection: Freedom