Darynda Jones
No. This has to do with drugs." My jaw fell open and I almost lost my toothbrush. "You're on drugs?" She pressed her mouth together. "No. You are." "I'm on drugs?" I asked, stunned. I had no idea.Collection: Ideas
After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.” “You do have that effect on people.Collection: Suicidal
Mistakes were made. Others were blamed.Collection: Mistake
God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.Collection: Hands
He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.Collection: Men
I was never really certain why he scared the bejesus out of me. Nothing scared me growing up. I’ve been playing with dead people since the day I was born, so it’s good thing, yet the Big Bad scared me. Which brings me to the reason I called.” “Which was to give me nightmares for the rest of my life?” “Oh, no, that’s just a plus. Why was I so scared of him?” “Hon, for one thing he was this powerful, massive, black smokelike being.” “So, you’re saying I’m a racist?Collection: Growing Up
You totally need to watch the news." "Can't." "Why?" "It's too depressing." "Right, because hanging with dead people isn't.Collection: Depressing
But, you're his son," I said, trying really hard to hate him. "You're the son of Satan. Literally." "And you are the stepdaughter of Denise Davidson." Wow. That was a bit harsh, but, "Okay, point taken.Collection: Hate
For the first time in my life, I was in a shoot-out. A real, honest-to-goodness shoot-out with a bad guy. And, apparently, we both sucked.Collection: Real
Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.Collection: Men
No, no, no, no, no. Anything but murder. Or rape. Or kidnapping. Or armed robbery. Or indecent exposure, ’cause that’s just creepy.Collection: Creepy
You’re the reason I breatheCollection: Breathe
I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity.Collection: Vader
Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly.Collection: Children
Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.Collection: Worth It
Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.Collection: Glitches
That boy needs a hobby." "Stalking is a hobby." "So is serial killing.Collection: Boys
You introduced me to Danger and Will Robinson, but you neglected to acquaint me with the other two.” “Fine,But you can’t make fun of their names. They’re very sensitive.” “I would never.” I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, “This is Beam Me Up.” Then to my right. “And this is Scotty.Collection: Fun
You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.Collection: Roof
And," Amber said, practically drooling as she ogled him, "it's tradition for new arrivals to help with the pep rally." Brooklyn quirked her lips in doubt. "Tradition?" "It's a new tradition," Amber shot back. "Clearly the deeper meaning of the word has escaped you.Collection: Doubt
Least he's committed," I offered. "Or needs to be.Collection: Needs
What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?Collection: Pardon Me
Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit." "Well, you are pretty fruity.Collection: Men
You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him. “Throw that in my face.” “Technically, you don’t have a face either.Collection: Body
See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!Collection: Forts
There is a fine line between love and hate, or haven't you heard? Sometimes it's hard to decipher exactly which emotion is strongest." I raised my chin. "I don't love you either." He lowered his head and watched me from underneath his dark lashes. "Are you certain? Because the emotion pouring out of you every time I'm near you is certainly not disinterest." "That doesn't mean it's love." "It could be, I promise you. Take off that sweater and give me ten minutes, and you'll believe beyond a shadow of a doubt you're in love.Collection: Hate
Oh, my god!” I said to Reyes, my eyes radiating accusations at him. “She took your picture? Just what kind of game are you playing? You’re under arrest, mister.” His mouth tilted and a dimple emerged on one cheek as I took his wrist and threw him against a wall. Or, well, urged him toward it. I held him against the cool wood with one hand and frisked him with the other.Collection: Wall
A split second later, my life flashed before my eyes, and I came to one important conclusion about it. It was fun while it lasted.Collection: Fun
A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.Collection: Men
This guy in high school tried to run me over with his dad’s SUV. Bad shoved the vehicle through a store window.” The memory brought a smile to my face.Collection: Running
For one week, all I could think about was drinking margaritas--well, that and running my tongue along Reyes's teeth--but I didn't have salt--or Reyes's teeth. I'd also lacked the energy to leave my apartment to get some--or the desire to stoop low enough to beg Reyes to let me lick his teeth after what he did--so I could only wish for a margarita. And dream of Reyes's teeth. I'd secretly hoped a margarita would magically appear in my hand, but that would mean I would have to put down the remote, and God knew that was not going to happen.Collection: Running
"I've been thinking," Brooklyn said as I gawked at the god sitting next to me, "if you get all lovey-dovey and decide to elope to Las Vegas where Jared uses his powers to clean up at the poker tables and you guys buy a mansion in the Manzano Mountains with twenty-seven rooms and decide - because you're rich and all - to buy a new computer, can I have your iMac then?"... "Um, no, you're not getting my iMac." "Dang."Collection: Thinking
You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.Collection: Guy
We really should get some X-rays,” the EMT said. “You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts,” I said to the EMT.Collection: Rays
Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.Collection: Men
I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding." I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I was bleeding internally, I'd know somewhere deep inside? Like, internally?Collection: Thinking
I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?Collection: Uncles
That's my entire weekend. I had plans" "A Vampire Dairies marathon is not plans." She looked at me like I lost my mind. "Have you even seen the Salvatore brothers? Holy mother of gingersnaps.Collection: Mother
She blinked at me, then realized I was panicking. Honestly, it was like admitting to murder before being interrogated. “Ms. Davidson,” she began, but I decided to trip her up, to throw her off the trail of blood I’d left like an injured animal. “I don’t speak English.Collection: Animal
I know how you feel. I’ve been analyzed to death as well. Not, like, professionally, though I did date a psych major who said I had attention issues. Or at least that’s what I think he said. I wasn’t really paying attention. Anyway, where was I?Collection: Psych
Does Uncle Bob have anything?" "I heard he has an STD." "I mean on the women." "Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.Collection: Uncles
Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.Collection: Tap Dance
Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.Collection: Police
Where have you been?" I stepped into my apartment and met Uncle Bob's glare with one of my own. "Out trying to pass myself off as a movie producer to get hot guys to sleep with me. Where have you been?Collection: Uncles
I should’ve known the day was going to turn out bad when it started with my father trying to kill meCollection: Father
Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?Collection: Race
I had a horrible feeling my leg was broken. If it wasn’t, it had a lot of explaining to do.Collection: Broken
Is it just me or does the fact that you live in the same building you were abducted into seem a bit morbid?" "Pffft. It’s just you," I said, discounting the entire bizarre ghoulish thing.Collection: Facts
Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.Collection: Should Have