Albert Brooks
I'm not Elvis. I don't get chased by paparazzi.
I've always liked to think ahead. Not stupid-far ahead. A hundred years doesn't interest me. But 20 years interests me, and more for what happens to humans as opposed to things.
You never do a movie and not want it to work. You accept whatever it is. You have to, but nobody in their right mind would not want the movie to be getting talked about at the end of the year.
I've done performances in movies that I was immensely proud of and the movies didn't take off like a rocket at Cape Canaveral, it didn't take off.
Most entertainment is trying to get you. It's tested, like toothpaste.
I like movies about failing.
I take anything other than 'you big pig!' as a compliment.
If you're going to act and do this for a living, you want to play something that the audience didn't expect.
I'm a strong fellow.
'Drive' came to me because the casting director knew my manager and called and said, 'You've always talked to me about Albert wanting to play the heavy. I think he should read this.' My ears just perked up.
I don't think the goal is, 'How big a star did you ever become?' I think the goal is, 'Were you able to express yourself?'
How many people didn't get a part who would have been better than the person who got the part? Thousands.
By the way, movies are like sporting events in that you're as good as the movie you're in. You can sit in a room for 20 years and go do a movie and you can just kill in it and you move to the head of the line again. By the same token, you can do five movies a year and if they're dreck, it's nothing.
If I'm going to act in someone's movie, I want the movie to be interesting and be able to get a couple of solid doubles.
Fear is like a giant fog. It sits on your brain and blocks everything - real feelings, true happiness, real joy. They can't get through that fog. But you lift it, and buddy, you're in for the ride of your life.Collection: Life
Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender.Collection: Fun
Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive?Collection: Insecurity
Your spouse should be just attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble.Collection: Dating
If anything happens to me, tell every woman I've ever gone with I was talking about her at the end. That way, they'll have to reevaluate me.Collection: Talking
I've always enjoyed stories that take place in the future but my one disappointment was that the future books described never came. We're not on other planets, there are no flying cars, and the only robots we have in our homes just sweep the floor. So I wanted to write about a future that I thought could really happen. People ask me when I tell them the title of the book, 'Are we all dead?' The good news is, no. We're still here. And I even think the future in my book is strangely hopeful, although I'm sure there will be people who strongly disagree.Collection: Disappointment
Nothing surprises me. After Donald Trump, nothing matters, does it?Collection: Surprise
Relaxation is the absence of worry.Collection: Worry
A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts!Collection: Powerful
So I think if you're happy with your brain, you're powerful.Collection: Powerful
I've always felt like I work in a small little area that doesn't represent anything like the rest of society.Collection: Society
I got so good at writing to a budget, my brain was restricting myself. I'd write, "It's a stormy night." Then I'd cross out stormy. I'd write: "It's a calm night." Then I'd cross out night. It's noon. Because you know how much night costs. You know how much rain costs. Nothing comes free in movies.Collection: Rain
I've never been disappointed, because I've never given somebody I liked that much power.Collection: Given
Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch.Collection: Hollywood
I don't know that I can define fear. But one of the sources of fear is holding up some sort of model life that doesn't exist and feeling like you're far away from it.Collection: Feelings
Bullfights are hugely popular because you can sit comfortably with a hot dog and possibly watch a man die. It wont be me, but I can sit comfortably and watch it.Collection: Dog
Donald Trump announces this morning that he will run for president. His hair will announce on Friday.Collection: Friday
I'm not a person who I ever thought would do well with divorce. Not that it can't happen. I just didn't want that. So I waited a long time to meet the right person. Then I finally met someone that I was willing to be divorced from.Collection: Divorce
Don't worry, and don't kick yourself forever. Just take the opportunities when they come.Collection: Fun
I don't want to get close to people who have secrets that I don't know about.Collection: People
It's better to be known by six people for something you're proud of than to be known by sixty million for something you're not.Collection: Motivational
You make friends with older people and you always feel young no matter what.Collection: People
My mother was supportive without knowing it. Deep down she wanted all the right things, she just didn't see the world like I did, and she's not supposed to.Collection: Mother
You can equate acting to a tennis game: When you're playing one of the best, you get better.Collection: Games
Regrets are stupid; they don't mean anything and they don't add up to anything.Collection: Regret
Acceptance is going to a restaurant where the salad's not great, but the steak is fine.Collection: Acceptance
I have children. I have a family to support. But I really could live in a one-room apartment, as long as the television worked. I never needed anything. Just a comfortable chair and I'm fine.Collection: Children
Someone asked me "what do you think of Donald Trump?" And I said, "I would rather vote for Hillary Clinton in jail." If she gets convicted, I'll vote for her for president.Collection: Thinking
Excited about Black Friday. Also excited about Jew Tuesday.Collection: Friday
The biggest waste of brainpower is to want to change something that's not changeable.Collection: Change
Starting to drink now in preparation for New Years. No more last minute stuff like Christmas.Collection: New Year
Art and resistance are great together. That's what art's made for. Look at Vincent van Gogh: He didn't cut off his ear because he was selling well.Collection: Art
What do you think the Devil is going to look like if he's around? Nobody is going to be taken in if he has a long, red, pointy tail. No. I'm semi-serious here. He will look attractive and he will be nice and helpful and he will get a job where he influences a great God-fearing nation and he will never do an evil thing... he will just bit by little bit lower standards where they are important. Just coax along flash over substance... Just a tiny bit. And he will talk about all of us really being salesmen. And he'll get all the great women.Collection: Jobs
I don't experience basic human emotions. It's not my thing.Collection: Emotion
In the beginning of any career, in every job, people are always forcing you to the middle.Collection: Jobs