Top hilarious Quotes Collection - Page 2
Discover a curated collection of hilarious quotes. Find inspiration, motivation, and wisdom from the best quotes in this category. Page 2 provides more hilarious quotes.
Look how often the unexpected happens - yet we still never expect it.Collection: Hilarious
The reason for the unreason with which you treat my reason , so weakens my reason that with reason I complain of your beauty.Collection: Hilarious
Motown, Motown, that's my era. Those are my people.Collection: Hilarious
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.Collection: Hilarious
I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.Collection: Hilarious
Do we have to know who's gay and who's straight? Can't we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?Collection: Hilarious
Now airlines charge for everything... If the oxygen mask drops, you have to swipe your credit card to start the flow of the oxygen.Collection: Hilarious
Nicole can do anything that involves a ball and whistle.Collection: Hilarious
Psychiatry is a pseudoscience.... You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do...Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, you don't even -you're glib. You don't even know what Ritalin is.Collection: Hilarious
This is possibly the most shameful situation I've ever gotten myself in in my life, and I've done some pretty dumb things in my life. So to actually make a new No. 1 is spectacularly stupid.Collection: Hilarious
I actually don't understand a word Paula's saying anymore. It's like a new language.Collection: Hilarious
This is the only naked man that will ever be in my bedroom.Collection: Hilarious
Google "brooklyn writer" and you'll get, Did you mean: the future of literature as we know it?Collection: Hilarious
And certainly, the mistakes that we male and female mortals make when we have our own way might fairly raise some wonder that we are so fond of it.Collection: Hilarious
I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria's Secret. There would be no Dior.Collection: Hilarious
What are you looking at sugar-tits?Collection: Hilarious
Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.Collection: Hilarious
Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack. Let's get that straight. OK? We don't do crack. We don't do that. Crack is whack.Collection: Hilarious
Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.Collection: Hilarious
If you're a kid who was not especially a star in your high school, I recommend going to a college in the middle of nowhere. I got all the attention I could ever have wanted.Collection: Hilarious
The limited circle is pure.Collection: Hilarious
We found a great rhythm. Contractions started kicking in. I sat there with her, right between her legs. We got tribal on it, we danced to it! I was DJ-ing this Brazilian music.Collection: Hilarious
If women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be sincerely believe this - no military conflicts, and when there WAS a military conflict, everybody involved would feel just awful and there would soon be a high-level exchange of notes written on greeting cards with flowers on the front, followed by a Peace LuncheonCollection: Hilarious
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.Collection: Hilarious
If you even dream of beating me you’d better wake up and apologize.Collection: Hilarious
Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I am not yet completely sure about the universe.Collection: Hilarious
People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant.Collection: Hilarious
Do we have to know who’s gay and who’s straight? Can’t we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?Collection: Hilarious
If you ask me anything I don’t know, I’m not going to answer.Collection: Hilarious
Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.Collection: Hilarious
By faithfully working eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.Collection: Hilarious
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.Collection: Hilarious
When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.Collection: Hilarious