Laugh Out Loud: Hilarious Quotes for Every Occasion - Page 34
Brighten your day with a selection of humorous and funny quotes. Laugh out loud with witty and amusing insights. Page 34 provides more funny quotes.
Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.Collection: Funny
Dogs who chase cars evidently see them as large, unruly ungulates badly in need of discipline and shepherding.Collection: Funny
I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is the language I don't understand.Collection: Funny
To go into acting is like asking for admission to an insane asylum. Anyone may apply, but only the certifiably insane are admitted.Collection: Funny
Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet.Collection: Funny
The biggest liar in the world is the golfer who claims he plays the game for exercise.Collection: Funny
Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net you absolutely nothing but an ulcer.Collection: Funny
By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.Collection: Funny
When men lose against me, they always have a headache ... or things of that kind. I have never beaten a completely healthy man!Collection: Funny
I've never really thought of myself as depressed so much as I am paralyzed by hope.Collection: Funny
A lot of beautiful people are stupid. There are a tremendous number of idiots who look so good. It's frightening.Collection: Funny
Show me the books he loves and I shall know the man far better than through mortal friends.Collection: Funny
Guitarists should be able to pick up the guitar and play music on it for an hour, without a rhythm section or anything.Collection: Funny
Looking back on the event, I find myself thinking there are three approaches to journalism represented here. One is the "cool" approach of traditional journalism, including network broadcasting in which NPR is no exception. One is the "hot" approach of talk radio, which has since expanded to TV sports networks and now Fox TV. The third is the engaged approach of weblogging.Collection: Funny
That's the way Stravinsky was. Bup, bup, bup, bup. The poor guy's dead now. Play it legato.Collection: Funny
There was confusion since I stood here 35 years ago.Collection: Funny
We can't hear the balance yet because the soloist is still on the airplane.Collection: Funny
I am thinking it right but beating it wrong.Collection: Funny
Accelerando means in tempo. Don't rush.Collection: Funny
Don't ever follow me, because I am difficult.Collection: Funny
Please follow me because I have to follow him and he isn't here.Collection: Funny
I can see none of you are smugglers; that's why it's so loud.Collection: Funny
Who is sitting in that empty chair?Collection: Funny
Why do you always start after my beat then rush to catch up? Do you want us to stay behind?Collection: Funny
At every concert I've sensed a certain insecurity about the tempo. It's clearly marked 80...uh, 69.Collection: Funny
Write it down in your own handwriting.Collection: Funny
Congratulations to each and every one of you for the concert last night in New York and vice versa.Collection: Funny
Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.Collection: Funny
You can't eat your friends and have them tooCollection: Funny
I add a smile to everything I wear and that has worked great for me.Collection: Funny
Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.Collection: Funny
We told Stanley Roberts to go on a water diet, and Lake Superior disappeared. Pat Williams When Xavier McDaniel plays against Orlando Wooldridge, it's a coach's dream - X vs O.Collection: Funny
God is indeed dead. He died of self-horror when He saw the creature He had made in His own image.Collection: Funny
People have been asking me if I was going to have kids, and I had puppies instead.Collection: Funny
She lies about her age and weight and is slightly older than Rocket. But they've been a couple for eight years, longer than most in Hollywood.Collection: Funny
There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summertime and the poor get it in the winter.Collection: Funny
I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.Collection: Funny
Well, Clive, it's all about the two Ms - movement and positioning.Collection: Funny
I'm going to make a prediction - it could go either way.Collection: Funny
It shouldn't be too much of a surprise that the Internet has evolved into a force strong enough to reflect the greatest hopes and fears of those who use it. After all, it was designed to withstand nuclear war, not just the puny huffs and puffs of politicians and religious fanatics.Collection: Funny
It is beyond my apprehension.Collection: Funny
Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you'll meet that night.Collection: Funny
I have a mind like a steel trap. Stuff gets in there and WHAM! it never gets back out again.Collection: Funny
Yeah, I'm scared. I'm scared I might kill Schmeling.Collection: Funny
That's the nature of research you don't know what in hell you're doing.Collection: Funny
You know you're getting old when everything hurts. And what doesn't hurt doesn't work.Collection: Funny
Life is something that everyone should try at least once.Collection: Funny
If cocaine were helium, the NBA would float away.Collection: Funny
And Kansas City is at Chicago tonight, or is it Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter as Kansas City leads in the eighth 4 to 4.Collection: Funny