Top Funny Marriage Quotes Collection

Discover a curated collection of Funny Marriage quotes. Find inspiration, motivation, and wisdom from the best quotes in this category.

Image of Henny Youngman
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
- Henny Youngman
Collection: Funny Marriage
Image of Bruce C. Hafen
Equal partnerships are not made in heaven-they are made on earth, one choice at a time, one conversation at a time, one threshold crossing at a time.
- Bruce C. Hafen
Collection: Funny Marriage
Image of Kathy Lette
Why can't women tell jokes? Because we marry them!
- Kathy Lette
Collection: Funny Marriage
Image of Kevin Nealon
Marriage is great. It'll calm you down - that and neutering.
- Kevin Nealon
Collection: Funny Marriage
Image of Bob Monkhouse
Marriage is an investment which pays dividends if you pay interest.
- Bob Monkhouse
Collection: Funny Marriage
Image of Rick Reilly
The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.
- Rick Reilly
Collection: Funny Marriage
Image of Heather Locklear
Lust is the sin that gets me excited. Luckily, because I'm married, I also get really good jewelry out of it.
- Heather Locklear
Collection: Funny Marriage
Image of Wendy Liebman
I'm going to get married again because I'm more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.
- Wendy Liebman
Collection: Funny Marriage
Image of Russell M. Nelson
The only duration of family life that satisfies the loftiest longings of the human soul is forever.
- Russell M. Nelson
Collection: Funny Marriage
Image of James E. Faust
True charity ought to begin in marriage, for it is a relationship that must be rebuilt every day.
- James E. Faust
Collection: Funny Marriage
Image of Gracie Allen
You kissed me like that when I was a blushing bride ...? I wonder what I was blushing about?
- Gracie Allen
Collection: Funny Marriage
Image of Lord Byron
All tragedies are finished by a death, All comedies are ended by a marriage.
- Lord Byron
Collection: Funny Marriage
Image of Bernard Malamud
One's fantasy goes for a walk and returns with a bride.
- Bernard Malamud
Collection: Funny Marriage
Image of Marc Maron
I was married once before, and I stopped.
- Marc Maron
Collection: Funny Marriage