Kathy Lette
If he wants breakfast in bed, tell him to sleep in the kitchen.Collection: Sleep
Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract.Collection: Relationship
Teenagers are obviously God's punishment for having sex in the first place.Collection: Sex
Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.Collection: Funny
Good art is in the wallet of the beholder.Collection: Art
People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.Collection: Money
Women want to be treated as equals, not sequels.Collection: Want
Age to women is what kryptonite is to Superman. Inside every older woman is a younger woman screaming, 'Get me the hell outta here.'Collection: Women
living with a teenage daughter is like living with the Taliban a mum is not allowed to laugh, sing, dance or wear short skirtsCollection: Daughter
I am allergic to domestic goddesses. Men would prefer a woman with a dirty mind to a clean house.Collection: Dirty
It's a mystery of parenthood that your son can give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a stray, worm-riddled dog, share a piece of re-chewed gum from a kid with bronchitis and pick his nose and eat it on a regular basis, yet won't sit next to his sister because of 'Girl Germs'.Collection: Girl
Any woman who calls herself a post-feminist should keep her Wonderbra and burn her brains.Collection: Feminist
If the Nobel Prize was awarded by a woman, it would go to the inventor of the dimmer switch.Collection: Invention
Why can't women tell jokes? Because we marry them!Collection: Funny Marriage
In Hollywood a romantic man is one who talks to you after sex.Collection: Sex
My sisters and I miss our dad dreadfully. But grief, of course, is the price of love.Collection: Love
What creates a writer is huge, psychological dysfunction.Collection: Dysfunction
Love is like a tide. When it's in, everything looks beautiful and inviting. Only when love recedes can you see the debris beneath the surface - the old bottles, the rusty prams, the sewage pipes, the bloated cats and dogs weighted down to drown. The man I had once loved so passionately I now saw as weak, gutted like a fish.Collection: Love
As a breastfeeding mother you are basically just meals on heels.Collection: Mother
Basically it's just a whole bunch of blokes standing around scratching themselvesCollection: Blokes
The truth is, my experience in matters sexual is limited.Collection: Matter
Well if manners maketh man make-up maketh woman.And we don't need a phalanx of behavioural scientists to explain why man judge women by their looks.Because the see bether than thay think.Collection: Men
dealing with loss and heartache doesn't make you stronger. It only makes people think you are.Collection: Loss
I knew absolutely nothing about bondage. I'd always presumed it was just an inventive way of keeping your partner from going home.Collection: Home
If God hadn't meant us to hunt men, he wouldn't have given us Wonder Bras.Collection: Men
Anyone living in Los Angeles who says they don't need a psychiatrist, needs a psychiatrist.Collection: Needs
Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.Collection: Women
The name Kylie can be used for Scrabble, as it is an aboriginal word for boomerang. Which is why Ms Minogue is so good at comebacks.Collection: Names
. . . planning a brilliant menu and preparing it beautifully doesn't guarantee a recipe for success.Collection: Guarantees
I speak as your native guide to the mysterious tribe called the English. Dress code is everything. You can be a card-carrying Nazi, you can pay gigolos to eat gnocchi out of your navel and you won't be pilloried -- as long as you never, ever wear linen with tweed.Collection: Long
Home is where the heartache is.Collection: Home
Every woman wants to be wanted - just not by the entire Metropolitan police force.Collection: Police
Believe me, having a teenage daughter is like living with the Taliban.Collection: Daughter
All men are into bondage, 'specially if they're real assholes at work all day.Collection: Real