Kevin Nealon
I was born in St. Louis; I lived there for three weeks and then my father graduated from St. Louis University, so we all got in the car and split. I don't really remember much. I grew up in Connecticut most of my life and then four years in Germany. My father worked for a helicopter company, so we went over there.Collection: Car
A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.Collection: Funny
Print is definitely more nutritious. When I leave a website, I'm hungry again an hour later - especially the Chinese websites.
Definitely not a TV junkie. I only record shows I want to see but usually never get around to watching them.
I tend to listen to Sirius XM Radio.
Any day that is designated to shower the person you love with love is my favorite holiday.
I am very romantic. In fact, I just renewed my vows... although it was with another woman.
I like YouTube; it's really entertaining. A lot of it is crappy stuff, but there are a couple diamonds in the rough there.
I've been involved in animal issues for quite a while, going back 24 years. I started reading up on factory farming and slaughterhouses and animal cruelty, and it didn't make sense for me to be part of it.
I just loved stand-up comics as a kid. I'd watch them on 'The Tonight Show,' and I thought what a great craft it was to come out on stage with no instrument or anything and be able to entertain people.
I don't feel the pressure and stress of having to be a comic in a club every night. I accomplished a lot of things; I did lot of things, and I don't feel like I'm missing out when I am home with my son.
I think having a child makes you calm down. You sit still.
I lived in Germany from when I was 6 until I was 10, so, of course, I played soccer. When I came back to the States, nobody played soccer, and none of the schools taught German, so I couldn't continue to excel in those categories.
It was football I enjoyed most. When I moved to L.A. to become a stand-up comedian, I thought it might be a good comedy hook to also be the punter for USFL club The L.A. Express, so I started practicing for the tryouts. Luckily, my stand-up took off, and I didn't need to do it.
I was 5-foot-8 when I graduated high school, but then I shot up to 6-foot-4 and got more into playing basketball.
I used to go to the Hollywood YMCA when I first came here, and I was standing in front of the mirror doing curls, and I noticed this guy next to me also doing curls. He was grimacing a lot, and I noticed he had an underbite. I looked more closely and realized it was Bruce Springsteen.
All I ever wanted to do was stand-up. It kind of charges me and gives me a rush.
I worked for a temp agency called Manpower.
You don't want to throw out a good idea and have nobody get excited about it. It takes the wind out of your sails.
Don't play dead with a vulture. That's exactly what they want.
I loved working on 'Happy Gilmore' because I love to travel to new places and we got to go to British Columbia. Any Adam Sandler film is fun to work on because it is a reunion of the boys club of guys that have worked together in the past.
I've done this commercial with Arnold Palmer. He doesn't play that much anymore, but it'd be fun to have him in the cart.
Curb Your Enthusiasm, is not so much about Hollywood. It's more about Larry's weaknesses.
I play a lot of sports. I'm not real good at any of them. I'm above adequate.
I'm Kevin Nealon, and that's news to me.
A special validates you as a stand-up by documenting your material.
I have a wandering eye and a lazy eye so they cancel each other out. It's a push.
If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit.
Workers insist that they are not disgruntled. They are very gruntled.
If you want a transcript of tonight's program, get a pen and write down everything I said.
I think people really appreciate clever commercials, as do I. I think they're very entertaining. You just have to wade through all the garbage. That's one of the reasons people watch the Super Bowl. A lot of them watch it to see the commercials and not the actual game.
The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining.
A whole generation of people that didn't know me from 'SNL' recognize me from 'Weeds' now. People recognize me once in a while and appreciate the work. It gets a little embarrassing but it's good. If you work as an accountant, you don't have people coming up to you in the streets saying, 'Hey, great job on tax statements!'
When a show has been on for so long, you lose fans, you gain fans. I remember this from 'Saturday Night Live.'
I look back at 'Saturday Night Live' and I think, some people didn't like me doing 'Weekend Update.' Who cares? A lot of people did. When you're reaching that many people, you're not going to have everybody like you.
As a comedian, you're kind of like a blues musician; you have to live a little bit.
I became a vegetarian after I became aware of factory farming and slaughterhouses and the torture and inhumane handling of all these animals.
I really enjoyed working on the 2009 film, 'Aliens in the Attic,' because it was shot in New Zealand and I got to visit there for the first time.
When you discover that you are going to have a child, it stirs up memories of your own childhood.
What happened was, I always wanted to be a singer/songwriter kind of guy like a James Taylor or Crosby, Stills and Nash type of thing; I went to a lot of coffee houses and used to watch all those guys, but I never had the nerve to get up and do it because singing seems so personal and intimate to me. It was too revealing.
When I was very young, I didn't really write my own material. I just memorized other peoples' jokes. Established comics, like Stanley Myron Handelman and people like that. And then, for every comic, you develop your own style after a while.
It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold!
I am whelmed, and not overly whelmed, just whelmed about a lot of facets in life - just how fragile life is and the different challenges you have in life, phobias about things.
I'm probably more of a stand-up comedian than an actor.
I learned how to draw from being bored in school. I would doodle on the margins of my paper.
I do have a place in my heart for animal shelters because the job they have is impossible - so many animals that need to euthanized because don't have homes for them.
Never wear a red t-shirt to Target. I enjoy helping people, but not every two minutes.
When I began doing stand-up, it took me a long time to get an hour's worth of material together.
I grew up watching stand-ups and thought it was so entertaining and unique - you didn't see that as a job description anywhere.
When I first began doing TV pilots, my expectations were high. I didn't understand that world. So when 'Weeds' took off, I was so happy. Especially as I was just a guest star in the pilot. But once it got picked up, they made me a regular cast member.