Samantha Bee
Don't judge me. I made a lot of money.Collection: Money
I hate birthdays. I thought that I only hated my own birthday, and then I realized that I hate my children's birthdays too.Collection: Birthday
Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people.
I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show.
I don't think the show would be funny to you if you didn't already have a base of information.
I think NASCAR's coming to Canada now so it'll take on a whole new relevance. Be afraid.
You have to be willing to ask questions that almost no one else would ask.
I think the show does better with newsmakers and politicians than it does with actors.
If it wasn't for what goes on in the world of politics, we wouldn't really have much of a show.
I learn something in the interviews from time to time.
A lot of funny stuff happens in Canada.
The best part about poker is there's no down side.
It's not every day people fly you to New York for auditions.
It was only a few years ago that I couldn't get hired to save my life.
I was totally unknown in the television and film industry in Canada.
It's great when you have people who will speak passionately and honestly about what they are doing.
There are some people who believe that these are not real stories with real people, but they actually are.
I think that my love of cooking grew out of my love of reading about cooking. When I was a kid, we had a bookcase in the kitchen filled with cookbooks. I would eat all my meals reading about meals I could have been having.
I believe in breakfast. It's the one meal that my kids usually eat without a fuss, so that's huge. As for myself, I can't function without it, and I see it as a great way to get some healthy greens in, some coffee, and on a good day, maybe even some news of the world via the newspaper.
I am a cookbook fanatic.
I get maximum satisfaction out of buying children's clothes online.
It is so expensive to take care of my hair and keep it looking like I was born with it, when my real hair is the color of rat fur.
I continue to be very shy. I think a lot of actors and performers are really weird, shy people working it out onstage. I don't know why that is.
I'm shy, but I'm not clinically shy. I don't have social anxiety disorder or anything like that. I more have a gentle shyness. Like, I have a little trouble mingling at parties.
If I could live in New York the rest of my life, I absolutely would, but it's also prohibitively expensive and you have to be working. New York is a lot nicer when you have a job.
My apartment is the equivalent of one room in my Toronto home. Now I understand why New Yorkers are on the streets at all hours. People don't want to stay inside for fear they'll go crazy.
I'm capable of living in the moment. And I'm especially capable of living in the moment of sitting on my sofa and watching other people's moments.
Christmas: It's the only religious holiday that's also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and everyone else can sit at home and reflect on the true meaning of the separation of church and state.Collection: Christmas
The worst thing you can do to a dictator is laugh at him.Collection: Laughing
Kids do have to learn that life is a humiliating charade of endless disappointment and tragedy ultimately culminating in pain, decay, and death. My parents used to sing me to sleep with that one.Collection: Pain
I dislike Ted Cruz as much as the next everyone. But that's no reason to be rude to Ted's loving wife and possible hostage.Collection: Wife
Sex with my first boyfriend was a little bit like learning how to put in a tampon, but only half as enjoyable!Collection: Sex
There's a danger zone if you take yourself too seriously. It's a terrible trap to fall into. I think it's the death of comedy.Collection: Fall
I find Donald Trump so haphazard, and that keeps me up at night.Collection: Night
It's like you can't even go on the radio anymore and condemn a whole subset of people to hell without getting some blowback.Collection: People
It's fun to be surrounded by people that you love.Collection: Fun
You don't want to be glib; you want to treat every story respectfully.Collection: Stories
The people I really feel sorry for are all the writers out there who wrote these outrageous comedic romps about a grossly unqualified person who goes on to become a Vice Presidential candidate in a hotly contested presidential race. With hilarious results. They must be so bummed.Collection: Sorry
There's always going to be someone who hates you. There's always going to be people who love you. It's a risk in either direction.Collection: Hate
You need to be able to agree from time to time if we're going to get anywhere. Once you have started a civil dialogue, it's a much smoother road to compromise. The key thing to remember is it's a daily practice.Collection: Compromise
Hopefully the person I'm trying to create is just a funny, dour, evil side of myself that has no other way to express itself. I don't model it after anyone in particular. Who would be like that? Who? I wouldn't want to meet that person. I wouldn't want to be interviewed by that person, I can tell you that.Collection: Evil
We definitely sometimes get stuff that's different that we were expecting. I mean, that's part of the joy and the terror of interviewing real, live people. Sometimes they come along the journey with you, and most of the time they don't.Collection: Real
As a viewer myself, I tend to gravitate toward projects that have a really strong voice of a strong creator.Collection: Strong
I grew up an only child, so I was so much more adult. My eldest daughter is 10, and I was so much more of an adult than she is. She just doesn't care for the real world. She's not interested.Collection: Daughter
It's weird how you can make people feel comfortable, and then ask them an uncomfortable question, but it doesn't ruin their day.Collection: People
There's a very fine line between political comedian and activist, and I don't really think I fall over into the activist category.Collection: Fall
If you get mad about how your voice sounds when it comes out of your own mouth, it's not really my fault. Go ahead and be yourself.Collection: Being Yourself
I was brought up to question things, but I was always a really quiet and shy child.Collection: Children
Speaking for myself, I try to go out there on the stage and make jokes with people, so I'm not really thinking about the impact anything I have. If it does resonate with people, that's really great.Collection: Thinking
A lot of comedy is really DIY. You're kind of doing it yourself.Collection: Diy