Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.Collection: Music
If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.Collection: Work
Work is much more fun than fun.Collection: Work
That strange feeling we had in the war. Have you found anything in your lives since to equal it in strength? A sort of splendid carelessness it was, holding us together.Collection: Strength
Let's drink to the spirit of gallantry and courage that made a strange Heaven out of unbelievable Hell, and let's drink to the hope that one day this country of ours, which we love so much, will find dignity and greatness and peace again.Collection: Courage
We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?
My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy suspicion that my mind has not wandered enough.
People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It is what it used to be. That is what's wrong with it.
Someday I suspect, when Jesus has definitely got me for a sunbeam, my works may be adequately assessed.
I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age - which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday.
I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.
A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.Collection: Glasses
Work hard, do the best you can, don't ever lose faith in yourself and take no notice of what other people say about you.Collection: Hard Work
You will know you're old when you cease to be amazed.Collection: Age
Never trust a man with short legs. His brains are too near his bottom.Collection: Funny
My importance to the world is relatively small. On the other hand, my importance to myself is tremendous. I am all I have to work with, to play with, to suffer and to enjoy. It is not the eyes of others that I am wary of, but of my own. I do not intend to let myself down more than I can possibly help, and I find that the fewer illusions I have about myself or the world around me, the better company I am for myself.Collection: War
Familiarity breeds contempt, but without a little familiarity it's impossible to breed anything.Collection: Sex
Grab it while you can — grab every scrap of happiness while you canCollection: Scrap
It's never too early for a cocktail.Collection: Cocktails
Consider the public. Never fear it nor despise it. Coax it, charm it, interest it, stimulate it, shock it now and then if you must, make it laugh, make it cry, but above all never, never, never bore the living hell out of it.Collection: Laughing
Why do I drink Champagne for breakfast? Doesn't everyone?Collection: Drinking
It is my considered opinion that the human race (soi disant) is cruel, idiotic, sentimental, predatory, ungrateful, ugly, conceited and egocentric to the last ditch and that the occasional discovery of an isolated exception is as deliciously surprising as finding a sudden brazil nut in what you know to be five pounds of vanilla creams. These glorious moments, although not making life actually worth living, perhaps, at least make it pleasanter.Collection: Conceited
Having to read footnotes resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.Collection: Doors
Conceit is an outward manifestation of inferiority.Collection: Inferiority
Criticism and Bolshevism have one thing in common. They both seek to pull down that which they could never build.Collection: Criticism
Madame Bovary is the sexiest book imaginable. The woman's virtually a nyphomaniac but you won't find a vulgar word in the entire thing.Collection: Book
How foolish to think that one can ever slam the door in the face of age. Much wiser to be polite and gracious and ask him to lunch in advance.Collection: Thinking
Thousands of people have talent. I might as well congratulate you for having eyes in your head. The one and only thing that counts is: Do you have staying power?Collection: Eye
My philosophy is as simple as ever - smoking, drinking, moderate sexual intercourse on a diminishing scale, reading and writing (not arithmetic). I have a selfish absorption in the well-being and achievement of Noel Coward.Collection: Philosophy
I'll go and see anything so long as it amuses me, or moves me. If it doesn't do either I want to go home.Collection: Moving
I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.Collection: Sarcastic
For gin, in cruel sober truth, supplies the fuel for flaming youth.Collection: Fuel
Your motivation is your pay packet on Friday. Now get on with it.Collection: Friday
Everybody worships me, it's nauseating.Collection: Worship
Though the fact that they have to be rebuilt And frequently mortgaged to the hilt Is inclined to take the gilt Off the gingerbread, And certainly damps the fun Of the eldest son.Collection: Fun