E. W. Howe
People never have confidence in a Big Talker. They know his statements must be cut down, but they can never tell how much.Collection: Cutting
When a man is trying to sell you something, don't imagine he is that polite all the time.Collection: Business
There is no get-rich-quick scheme equal to a poor girl marrying a rich man.Collection: Girl
Nothing is wonderful when you get used to it.Collection: Wonderful
The man who insists he as good as anybody, believes he is better.Collection: Believe
Friends are like a pleasant park where you wish to go; while you may enjoy the flowers, you may not eat them.Collection: Flower
No wonder the teacher knows so much; she has the book.Collection: Education
The way to keep a cat is to try to chase it away.Collection: Cat
I have long been disposed to judge men by their average. If it is reasonably high, I am charitable with faults that look pretty black.Collection: Men
American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense.Collection: Freedom
Youth is about the only thing worth having, and that is about the only thing youth has.Collection: Youth
Raising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough.Collection: Children
A religion that never suffices to govern a man will never suffice to save him; that which does not sufficiently distinguish one from a wicked world will never distinguish him from a perishing world.Collection: Men
I declare my belief that it is not your duty to do anything that is not to your own interest. Whenever it is unquestionably your duty to do a thing, then it will benefit you to perform that duty.Collection: Benefits
Love affairs have always greatly interested me, but I do not greatly care for them in books or moving pictures. In a love affair, I wish to be the hero, with no audience present.Collection: Art
One trouble with growing old is that it gets progressively tougher to find a famous historical figure, who didn't amount to much when he was your age.Collection: Historical
A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.Collection: Love
When a man dies, and his kin are glad of it, they say, "He is better off."Collection: Men
When a man once gets a start holding office, it is nearly always necessary to finally choke him off.Collection: Men
We love the Lord, of course, but we often wonder what He finds in us.Collection: God
Don't take up a man's time talking about the smartness of your children; he wants to talk to you about the smartness of his children.Collection: Children
As soon as the people fix one Shame of the World, another turns up.Collection: People
Probably you have noted the resemblance of the critic to the crank.Collection: Criticism
In thousands of years there has been no advance in public morals, in philosophy, in religion or in politics, but the advance in business has been the greatest miracle the world has ever known.Collection: Business
No really sensible person ever remembers enough poetry to recite it.Collection: Poetry
We must be truthful and fair in the ordinary affairs of life before we can be truthful and fair in patriotism and religion.Collection: Life
Where the guests at a gathering are well-acquainted, they eat 20 per cent more than they otherwise would.Collection: Gathering
If you go to church, and like the singing better than the preaching, that's not orthodox.Collection: Singing
When a man asks your advice, he usually tells you just how he expects you to decide.Collection: Men
If the fools do not control the world, it isn't because they are not in the majority.Collection: Fool
So long as we do not blow our brains out, we have decided life is worth living.Collection: Life
A man will do more for his stubbornness than for his religion or his countryCollection: Country
A man who will not get scared on some occasions, lacks good sense.Collection: Fear
A really busy person never knows how much he weighs.Collection: Busy