Don Rickles
Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.
To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.
Well, I call myself an actor. I always wanted to be one.
When I'm onstage, I'm acting.
I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.
I was a mother's boy.
They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities.
I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.
I do situations and make fun of authority and life.
In our day we went from - we went into saloons. We couldn't cross over like you can today, get a television series and all of a sudden you're a major movie star, you know.
I mean, in my - and I'm not trying to do spilled milk, but in those days it was a little - I think it was much tougher, because you got an image, and you were in a saloon. And it was tough to come out of a saloon and to get in films, and to maintain an image, you know.
I never could tell a joke. I just started talking to the audience, and when the drunks would yell, "Hey, when do the broads come on?" I got good at saying, "Relax. Clear your skin up first." They called me "the insult guy," but it's never mean-spirited. I'm just exaggerating everything about us and about life.Collection: Mean
I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.Collection: Golf
Some people say funny things - but I say things funny.Collection: Funny Things
You got to have a lot of courage. Secondly, whatever it is you're doing you have to believe in it wholeheartedly. Thirdly, you have to be able to stand up in front of people and know that they'll laugh.Collection: Believe
Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people. Like Larry King. We've been friends for forty years. He's one of the few guys I know who's really famous. One minute he's talking to the president on his cell phone, and then the next minute he's saying to me, Do you think we ought to give the waiter another dollar?Collection: Kings
Once in a while, when I'm alone, I think about my age. I think, How many more years do I have on this earth? But I can't really conceive of dying. Somehow, in my head, I don't think I'll die. I know that everybody dies, of course. I just think that it'll never come to me. It's crazy, but there it is.Collection: Crazy
I don't feel an obligation to give everyone a hard time, but when they're important people, it's fun.Collection: Fun
I always say that comedians and actors were all kind of shy when they were young. I was very, believe it or not, kind of embarrassed as a child. But my mother was a very strong lady and she was the one that kept it going when I thought it would be over for me as a performer. She was always my inspiration and she was a big influence on me.Collection: Mother
An insult comic is the title I was given. What I do is exaggeration. I make fun of people, at life, of myself and my surroundings.Collection: Fun
Regis Philbin is very successful in his own right. We have a new thing where he have chairs and we sit and talk to each other about my career and his career. It works pretty well if I do say so.Collection: Successful
My main success was an attitude. Always an attitude.Collection: Attitude
When you do see me, you'll get the idea from when you see me that it's all off the top of my head. A lot of it is a beginning, middle and the end. But it's different every night. I have a lot of jokes in my back pocket I've said over the years.Collection: Night
It's just to break things up between stand-up gigs. I would only do it periodically. Maybe just an East Coast thing.Collection: East
I still think funny, and people young and old still come and see me. That's flattering. The day comes that they stop coming, then I'll know that it's time to retire to the Jewish ranch.Collection: Thinking
We show a lot of film [with Regis Philbin] from my career which is most enjoyable. I enjoy watching it.Collection: Careers
What I do is, I make fun of people and I make fun of myself and things around us and exaggerate things. And I'm never mean-spirited. See, the word insult means some guy who's a real unkind human being. But I don't do that, because otherwise I wouldn't be headlining all these years, thank god, and all these people showing up to see me.Collection: Fun
I've never been able to tell jokes. In the beginning of my career I did impressions and jokes like any other comedian, but I was never very successful because I did it poorly. So I started to talk to the audience and started talking about the atmosphere around me and started to become angry, not in a mean-spirited way, but in a fun way - and my attitude developed from there.Collection: Fun
When someone says to me, do you do stand-up I say absolutely not. I like to think of it as a theatrical performance. With me the show changes maybe five to ten percent every night. Of course, whatever I see in front of me and sometimes I get on a little run about it and it changes the show. And my delivery is such that people who have seen me many times say Gee, I never heard that before. Actually, they have, but I might have changed it around.Collection: Running
When I first went to Vegas, there were just high-rollers and gamblers and the wise guys treated you great.Collection: Wise
So many young people think the big sex act is the whole movie, but that's not the case. You need to be able to talk and laugh and cry together.Collection: Sex
I always enjoy being full of fun, but I have my serious moments. Some women go for the studious kind of guy, I certainly was not that. If a girl is looking for somebody different and maybe a little more exciting for themselves - someone more on the fun side, I would suggest that they look for a type like Don Rickles.Collection: Girl
Al Capone's my uncle. The old days were a lot different. The Latin Casino was the big time. When I got there I figured that I was doing pretty good, because remember, I started in nothing but after hours joints. I can't even name them now, but that's how I got noticed.Collection: Uncles
It's tough having the last name Rickles. Luckily, my kids handled it great.Collection: Kids
I've never gambled a dime. Never, in all my years in Vegas.Collection: Vegas
My health, thank God, has kept my brain alive.Collection: Brain
The transformation has been unbelievable. When I started here, I worked in a place where the Sky Room was on the second floor.Collection: Sky
My father wasn't much for show business. He was an insurance man - very well-liked, very warm. He had a lot of friends.Collection: Father
Sex is great, but when you get to be my age, you've got to pace it a little bit. Otherwise you get tired.Collection: Sex
I'm always watching films. The Academy pretty much sends me every film that's ever been done. I enjoy watching them, especially with the people I know.Collection: People
To this day, to this very day, except for television, I've never had a writer. Anything I've ever done on the stage, happened on the stage and I developed it from there. It started doing impressions and jokes - which I did very poorly. To this day I can't tell a joke. That sounds nuts, but it's true. I exaggerate it and it becomes a joke. Everything I've ever done I've done out on the stage and it became a performance over many many years.Collection: Done
Hell, do I remember the first joke? I was never a jokester.Collection: Firsts
My father when walked into a room, you could tell that everybody loved him. They really did. He was quite a man. My mother was more into the show biz atmosphere than he was.Collection: Mother
I've never been mean-spirited, in my opinion. I never did anything below the belt.Collection: Mean
People think being in your seventies means sitting around in a chair with a blanket over your legs, drooling.Collection: Mean
I would describe myself as a guy that's very normal but has the tendency to rib people, but never in a mean-spirited way.Collection: Mean
I grew up in an Orthodox family, as I grew older, I became Conservative and that's how it ended up. But I've developed that Jewish feel to my act from my surroundings and my family.Collection: Conservative
I think they [Martin Scorsese, Johnny Carson, Frank Sinatra] liked my honesty. My personality. For that, they always treated me great. I, in turn, treated them great. No secret about it. My being who I am - that is that.Collection: Honesty
My style is my personality. It's always been that way. Being a wiseguy and having fun. It's always been that way for me, when I was in high school, and in the Navy. It's not something I rehearse.Collection: Fun