Chuck Palahniuk
Most of the laugh tracks on television were recorded in the early 1950’s. These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead.Collection: People
The bad news is we don't have any control. The good news is we can't make any mistakes.Collection: Mistake
From famous artists to building contractors, we all want to leave our signature. Our lasting effect. Your life after death. We all want to explain ourselves. Nobody wants to be forgotten.Collection: Artist
In a world where vows are worthless.Where making a pledge means nothing. Where promises are made to be broken, it would be nice to see words come back into power.Collection: Nice
For sure, even the worst blow job is better than, say, sniffing the best rose ... watching the greatest sunset. Hearing children laugh.Collection: Jobs
I spent my life attacking everything because I was too afraid to risk creating anything.Collection: Creating
All object printed: Love me. Look me. Million speaking objects,begging. Crown American consumer with power of king, to rescue choose and give home or abandon here for expire.Collection: Kings
With insomnia, you're never really awake; but you're never really asleep.Collection: Insomnia
Some people are just born human, the rest of us, we take a lifetime to get there.Collection: People
So here I am. This is as good as it gets. Take it or leave it.Collection: Here I Am
You realize that our mistrust of the future makes it hard to give up the past.Collection: Life
After you find out all the things that can go wrong, your life becomes less about living and more about waiting.Collection: Waiting
History is filled with brilliant people who wanted to fix things and just made them worse.Collection: Fate
Everything is funnier in retrospect, funnier and prettier and cooler. You can laugh at anything from far enough away.Collection: Life
Stop trying to control everything and just let go! LET GO!Collection: Letting Go
Real smarts begin when you quit quoting other people.Collection: Real
Yes, terrible things happen, but sometimes those terrible things - they save you.Collection: Positive
We live and we die and anything else is just a delusion.Collection: Delusion
What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.Collection: Love
Actually, watching television and surfing the Internet are really excellent practice for being dead.Collection: Practice
The difference between how you look and how you see yourself is enough to kill most people. And maybe the reason vampires don’t die is because they can never see themselves in photographs or mirrors.Collection: Mirrors
Parenthood is the opiate of the masses.Collection: Parenting
On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.Collection: Death
To some of us, the nights are too long. To some, the days.Collection: Night
Just for the record, the weather today is calm and sunny, but the air is full of bullshit.Collection: Air
The only thing that separates us from the animals... is we have pornography.Collection: Animal
If You Don’t Claim Your Humanity, You Will Become A Statistic.Collection: Humanity
Have your adventures, make your mistakes, and choose your friends poorly -- all these make for great stories.Collection: Mistake
This was freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.Collection: Losing
There are only patterns, patterns on top of patterns, patterns that affect other patterns. Patterns hidden by patterns. Patterns within patterns. If you watch close, history does nothing but repeat itself. What we call chaos is just patterns we haven't recognized. What we call random is just patterns we can't decipher. what we can't understand we call nonsense. What we can't read we call gibberish. There is no free will. There are no variables.Collection: Doe
The first step - especially for young people with energy and drive and talent, but not money - the first step to controlling your world is to control your culture. To model and demonstrate the kind of world you demand to live in. To write the books. Make the music. Shoot the films. Paint the art.Collection: Music
Carl Jung called this his shadow work. He said we never see others. Instead we see only aspects of ourselves that fall over them. Shadows. Projections. Our associations.Collection: Fall
If you're going to read this, don't bother.Collection: Bother
In a world where billions believe their deity conceived a mortal child with a virgin human, it's stunning how little imagination most people display.Collection: Children
Having nothing to lose is the new wealth.Collection: Wealth
When you reach the end of your life - trust me, you won't look back and savor the moments you spent alone.Collection: Looks
You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you've got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug. Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you.Collection: Couple
If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes.Collection: Love
Without animals, there would be no humanity. In a world of just people, people will mean nothing . . .Collection: Mean
May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect.Collection: Inspiring
We can spend our lives letting the world tell us who we are. Sane or insane. Saints or sex addicts. Heroes or victims. Letting history tell us how good or bad we are. Letting our past decide our future. Or we can decide for ourselves. And maybe it's our job to invent something better.Collection: Inspiring
It's creepy, but here we are, the Pilgrims, the crackpots of our time, trying to establish our own alternate reality. To build a world out of rocks and chaos. What it's going to be, I don't know. Even after all that rushing around, where we've ended up is the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night. And maybe knowing isn't the point. Where we're standing right now, in the ruins in the dark, what we build could be anything.Collection: Dark
You spend your entire life becoming God and then you die.Collection: Becoming
Big Brother isn't watching. He's singing and dancing. He's pulling rabbits out of a hat. Big Brother's busy holding your attention every moment you're awake. He's making sure you're always distracted. He's making sure you're fully absorbed. He's making sure your imagination withers. Until it's as useful as your appendix. He's making sure your attention is always filled. And this being fed, it's worse than being watched. With the world always filling you, no one has to worry about what's in your mind. With everyone's imagination atrophied, no one will ever be a threat to the world.Collection: Brother
This is your life and its ending one moment at a time.Collection: Inspirational
Because nothing is as good as you can imagine it. No one is as beautiful as she is in your head. Nothing is as exciting as your fantasy.Collection: Beautiful
What people forget is a journey to nowhere starts with a single step, too.Collection: Journey
Want to talk third-wave feminism, you could cite Ariel Levy and the idea that women have internalized male oppression. Going to spring break at Fort Lauderdale, getting drunk, and flashing your breasts isn't an act of personal empowerment. It's you, so fashioned and programmed by the construct of patriarchal society that you no longer know what's best for yourself. A damsel too dumb to even know she's in distress.Collection: Spring
It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.Collection: Inspirational