W. S. Gilbert
It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs.Collection: Food
He did nothing in particular, and did it very well.Collection: Work
It's love that makes the world go round.Collection: World
Life's a pudding full of plums.Collection: Life
Oh, wouldn't the world seem dull and flat with nothing whatever to grumble at?Collection: World
I'm really very sorry for you all, but it's an unjust world, and virtue is triumphant only in theatrical performances.Collection: Sorry
Merely corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.Collection: Giving
Oh, don't the days seem lank and long When all goes right and nothing goes wrong, And isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at!Collection: Life
Deerstalking would be a very fine sport if only the deer had guns.Collection: Sports
No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have; and I think he's a dirty little beast.Collection: Sarcastic
I am the Captain of the Pinafore ; And a right good captain too! . . . . And I'm never, never sick at sea! What, never? No, never! What never? Hardly ever! He's hardly ever sick at sea! Then give three cheers, and one cheer more, For the hardy Captain of the Pinafore!Collection: Cheer
When in that House MPs divide/If they've a brain and cerebellum, too/They've got to leave that brain outside/And vote just as their leaders tell 'em to.Collection: Mps
As is gloriously sung in the Gilbert and Sullivan operetta "H.M.S. Pinafore," in the words of W. S. Gilbert: "Things are seldom as they seem, Skim milk masquerades as cream."Collection: Milk
I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule.Collection: Facts
Life is a joke that's just begun.Collection: Life Is
No good play is a success; fine writing and high morals are useless on the stage. I have been scribbling twaddle for thirty-five years to suit the public taste, and I should know.Collection: Writing
Wherever valor true is found, true modesty will there abound.Collection: Humility
Saturday afternoon, although occurring at regular and well-foreseen intervals, always takes this railway by surprise.Collection: Luck
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of beings animalculous; In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General.Collection: Math
Life's perhaps the only riddle That we shrink from giving up.Collection: Life
In short, whoever you may be, To this conclusion you'll agree, When every one is somebodee, Then no one's anybody!Collection: May
When every blessed thing you have is made of silver, or of gold, you long for simple pewter.Collection: Blessed
When you are lying awake with a dismal headache, and repose is tabooed by anxiety, I conceive you may use any language you choose to indulge in without impropriety.Collection: Lying
The privilege and pleasure That we treasure beyond measure Is to run on little errands for the Ministers of State.Collection: Running
Ah, pray no mistake, We are not shy; We're very wide awake The Moon and I.Collection: Mistake
Darwinian man, though well-behaved, at best is only a monkey shaved.Collection: Men
A policeman's lot is not a happy oneCollection: Policemen
For duty, duty must be done; The rule applies to everyone.Collection: Done
He led his regiment from behind. He found it less exciting.Collection: Inspirational
There's a fascination frantic in a ruin that's romantic.Collection: Fascination
Posterity will know as little of me as I know of posterity.Collection: Littles
After many unhappy experiments in the direction of an ideal Republic, it was found that what may be described as a Despotism tempered by Dynamite provides, on the whole, the most satisfactory description of ruler - an autocrat who dares not abuse his autocratic power.Collection: Abuse
I am a child of Nature, and take after my mother.Collection: Mother
I see no objection to stoutness, in moderation.Collection: Moderation
The Law is the true embodiment of everything that's excellent; it has no kind of fault or flaw and I, my Lords, embody the Law.Collection: Law
Spurn not the nobly born with love affected; nor treat with virtuous scorn the well connected.Collection: Born
poverty is obsolete and hunger is abolishedCollection: Poverty
When the enterprising burglar isn't burgling; When the cut-throat isn't occupied in crime; He loves to hear the little brook a-gurgling; And listen to the merry village chime.Collection: Cutting
There's fish in the sea, no doubt of it, As good as ever came out of it.Collection: Lakes
It is a glorious thing To be a Pirate King.Collection: Kings
Isn't your life extremely flat,With nothing to grumble at?Collection: Flats
If you're anxious to shine in the high aesthetic line as a man of culture rare, you must get up all the germs of the transcendental terms, and plant them everywhere.Collection: Men