Mignon McLaughlin
Make a habit of telling the truth, or make a habit of lying: to decide each case on its own merits is exhausting, and hardly ever worth it.Collection: Lying
In church, sacred music would make believers of us all — but preachers can be counted on to restore the balance.Collection: Religion
The death of someone we know always reminds us that we are still alive - perhaps for some purpose which we ought to re-examine.Collection: Death
Many of us go through life feeling as an actor might feel who does not like his part and does not believe in the play.Collection: Believe
We welcome passion, for the mind is briefly let off duty.Collection: Passion
Neurotics are always looking for something new to overdo.Collection: Something New
When we discuss those we love with those who do not love them, the end of love is near.Collection: Heartbreak
They threaten me with lung cancer, and still I smoke and smoke. If they'd only threaten me with hard work, I might stop.Collection: Cancer
Spring, summer, and fall fill us with hope; winter alone reminds us of the human condition.Collection: Summer
The neurotic usually obeys his own Golden Rule: Hate thy neighbor as thyself.Collection: Hate
The neurotic circles ceaselessly above a fogged-in airport.Collection: Airports
A productive marriage requires falling in enjoy numerous occasions, usually with the identical man or woman.Collection: Fall
If only we could be old and sick while we're still young and healthy enough to put up with it!Collection: Health
Luck: when your burst of energy doesn't run afoul of someone else's.Collection: Running
It's awesome to realize that if your greatest potential talent is for riding a bicycle upside down on a high wire, you will somehow discover it.Collection: Wire
All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men.Collection: Funny
Men enjoy being thought of as hunters, but are generally too lazy to hunt. Women, on the other hand, love to hunt, but would rather nobody knew it.Collection: Funny
No matter how many Christmas presents you give your child, there's always that terrible moment when he's opened the very last one. That's when he expects you to say, 'Oh yes, I almost forgot,' and take him out and show him the pony.Collection: Christmas
Goods are displayed by thousands of shopkeepers with a sense of beauty that finds no other outlet.Collection: Outlets
Healthy parakeets have the nervous energy of tennis players.Collection: Player
Being neurotic is like shooting fish in a barrel, and missing them.Collection: Missing
The neurotic listens to weather reports about Small Craft Warnings, and he thinks: They're talking about me.Collection: Thinking
Of all second-class citizens, neurotics are the only ones who are so by choice.Collection: Class
It's easy enough to get along with a loved and loving child - at least till you try to get him to do something.Collection: Children
It's terrifying to see someone inside of whom a vital spring seems to have been broken. It's particularly terrifying to see him in your mirror.Collection: Spring
We wake in the night, to stereophonic silence.Collection: Night
Neurotics are sure that no one understands them, and they wouldn't have it any other way.Collection: Way
We can never at any time absorb more love than we're ready for.Collection: Best Love
There's an awful lot of blood around that water is thicker than.Collection: Family
Neurosis is no worse than a bad cold; you ache all over, and it's made you a mess, but you won't die from it.Collection: Psychology
I often pray, though I'm not really sure Anyone's listening; and I phrase it carefully, just in case He's literary.Collection: Prayer
It's impossible to be loyal to your family, your friends, your country, and your principles, all at the same time.Collection: Country
There are whole years for which I hope I'll never be cross-examined, for I could not give an alibi.Collection: Time
If your husband expects you to laugh, do so; if he expects you to cry, don't; if you don't know what he expects, what are you doing married?Collection: Husband
Hot dogs always seem better out than at home; so do French-fried potatoes; so do your children.Collection: Dog
A good executive is one who makes people contentedly settle for less than they meant to get, in return for more than they meant to give.Collection: People
Self-confidence grows on trees, in other people's orchards.Collection: Confidence
Humiliation is a vast country of imprecise boundaries. If you think you're there, you are. The neurotic rule: when in doubt, go ahead and feel humiliated.Collection: Country
When their children fail to charm others, few parents can stay neutral.Collection: Children
Comfort, or revelation: God owes us one of these, but surely not both.Collection: Comfort
In youth we are plagued by desire; in later years, by the desire to feel desire.Collection: Years
People are like birds: on the wing, all beautiful; up close, all beady little eyes.Collection: Beautiful
God is less careful than General Motors, for He floods the world with factory rejects.Collection: World
At the beginning of a love affair, not even the neurotic is neurotic.Collection: Affair
As we are human, we can't do what we can't do; as we're neurotic, we can't do what we can.Collection: Neurotic
The poor have the same basic pleasures as the rich, and the rich will always resent it.Collection: Rich
Women go to beauty parlors for the unmussed look men hate.Collection: Hate
An artist usually has no friends except other artists, and usually they do not like his work.Collection: Artist
We work for praise, and dawdle once we have it.Collection: Effort