Mae West
When I'm good I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.
Right now I think censorship is necessary; the things they're doing and saying in films right now just shouldn't be allowed. There's no dignity anymore and I think that's very important.
I've been in more laps than a napkin.
Personally, I like two types of men - domestic and foreign.
I enjoyed the courtroom as just another stage but not so amusing as Broadway.
Virtue has its own reward, but no sale at the box office.
A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.
Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.
It ain't no sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don't break any.
Love isn't an emotion or an instinct - it's an art.
He who hesitates is a damned fool.
I've been things and seen places.
I speak two languages, Body and English.
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for years.Collection: Men
I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss, de meaner I get.Collection: Sex
Women are like roads. The more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.Collection: Curves
Well behaved women do not make history.Collection: Wells
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?Collection: Sarcastic
I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.Collection: Sarcastic
Positive thoughts generate positive feelings and attract positive life experiences. You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.Collection: Positive Life
Your real security is yourself. You know you can do it, and they can't ever take that away from you.Collection: Inspirational
The best way to behave is to misbehave.Collection: Women
I believe that one day the world will judge the witch hunt against homosexuals just as harshly as it judges the Spanish Inquisition and the Holocaust.Collection: Believe
Never mind about the six feet. Let's talk about the seven inches.Collection: Feet
If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!Collection: Sarcastic
We're intellectual opposites. Well, I'm intellectual and you're opposite.Collection: Opposites
How tall are you big boy? Six foot nine inches! Let's go up to my place and talk about the nine inches!Collection: Boys
Words should be used as tools of communication and not as a substitute for actionCollection: Communication
Sex with love is the greatest thing in life. But sex without love--that's not so bad either.Collection: Sex
Everything's in the mind. That's where it all starts. Knowing what you want is the first step toward getting it.Collection: Inspirational
JUDGE: Are you trying to show contempt for this court? MAE WEST: I was doin' my best to hide it.Collection: Judging
For a long time I was ashamed of the way I lived. Did I reform, you ask? No. I'm not ashamed anymore.Collection: Psychics
It's not what you can do, but the way you do it that counts.Collection: Deeds
You are never too old to become younger!Collection: Sarcastic
I like my clothes tight enough to show I'm a woman, but loose enough to show I'm a lady.Collection: Fashion
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.Collection: Life
There are no good girls gone wrong - just bad girls found out.Collection: Girl
Women like a man with a past, but they prefer a man with a presentCollection: Sarcastic
Women with pasts interest men because they hope history will repeat itself.Collection: Funny
Love is like a booger, you pick and pick at it. Then when you get it you wonder how to get rid of it.Collection: Funny
I wrote the story myself. It's all about a girl who lost her reputation but never missed it.Collection: Funny
I don't like myself, I'm crazy about myself.Collection: Funny
Never ask a man where's he's been. If he's out on legitimate business, he doesn't need an alibi. And, girls, if he has been out on illegitimate business, it's your own fault.Collection: Girl
Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? (She made this remark in February 1936, at the railway station in Los Angeles upon her return from Chicago, when a Los Angeles police officer was assigned to escort her home)Collection: Home
No one can have everything, so you have to try for what you want most.Collection: Sarcastic
March isn't the only thing that's in like a lion and out like a lamb.Collection: Funny
Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.Collection: Funny
Why don’t you come up and have a little ... scotch and sofa?Collection: Scotch
Marriage is like a book. The whole story takes place between the covers.Collection: Marriage