Joe Rogan
I've been inspired by a shitload of people in my life so if there's ever anybody that I can inspire, to me that's a huge gift. To be able to turn that back around.Collection: Mma
I always try to look at conflicts from as many different angles as is humanly possible, and in a lot of ways there is no one answer.Collection: Trying
I realized a long time ago that instead of being jealous you can be inspired and appreciative. It carries more energy to you... That can be an awesome motivating force that can improve your life if you choose to be inspired and not jealous. One (being jealous) has no benefit whatsoever, the other is an incredible resource for creating momentum and improvement.Collection: Jealous
Kindness is one of the best gifts you can bestow... We know that inherently that feels great.Collection: Kindness
I thought eventually I'd have a family and I really didn't want to be a loser like that guy in his 40s still shopping his band's shitty demo tapes around.Collection: Shopping
You could smell my ass from mars.Collection: Smell
The sensory deprivation chamber has been the most important tool that I've ever used for developing my mindCollection: Mind
Martial arts are a vehicle for developing your human potential.Collection: Art
There's a never-ending ocean of techniques out there.Collection: Ocean
My company is called Talking Monkey, Inc. It's because that's what I think all people are: talking monkeys.Collection: Thinking
A lot of times, you beat a person who beat a person who can beat you. I mean, it doesn't make any sense.Collection: Mean
Having the privilege of sitting down and having 3 hour long uninterrupted conversations with hundreds of brilliant people is an awesome perspective enhancer.Collection: Long
I don't know much about the music business, but for just general advice for someone trying to create things, as simple as this sounds, I think the best thing you can do is constantly try to improve upon your work. Always focus on that first and foremost, and leave everything else (marketing, image) completely secondary. Obviously, easier said than done when you're trying to make a living, but if you can move along those lines and earnestly try to make things that you really enjoy it can only benefit you in the long run.Collection: Running
I brought something back from those experiences [with drugs] which made me softer, open to other ideas. And I've learned from listening to other people talk about their experiences, from listening to Bill Hicks or reading Terrence McKenna or Aldous Huxley and Timothy Leary. But there's always some dumb cop out there who says "We don't need another legal drug and there's psychological addiction and blah blah blah."Collection: Reading
By putting yourself in that intense form of stress, it makes regular life more peaceful.Collection: Stress
For those that have said I seemed dickish to some of the nuttier guests on Joe Rogan Questions Everything - guilty as charged. As the season wore on I lost my patience with some of those folks unfortunately. I think I overdosed on ridiculous/likely fake stories. I certainly learned a lot about the kind of people that invest a large portion of their life on fringe subjects - they're all white. I think there's something interesting about the subjects, (UFOS, etc) but the study of them has often been overrun by silly thinking.Collection: Silly
I think comedy because of the Internet it has a bigger audience, a bigger fan base. It has fans that understand comedy more than any generation before because there is more guys like you, more guys like me, more guys like Louie CK who talks about it a lot. When you get a chance to see perspective that I don't think you ever got to see before.Collection: Thinking
I want to talk about the nature of human beings or how we're evolving as a race.Collection: Race
I was like, "This is a new thing that the gay people have decided? That's the gayest thing I've ever heard in my life." You can't do that. You can't decide that a word is forbidden now collectively amongst your group of human beings, that the word is a slanderous evil nasty word about homosexuals. It's not, the word doesn't mean that. And sometimes it's a good word to use in comedy. That's what your friend has to realize when he's at a bar just yelling out the word.Collection: Mean
I'm really happy that I've been able to make people laugh and distract them from their day to day bullshit at a comedy show or because they enjoyed one of my CDs or TV specials, but I don't know how many people have actually had life changing thoughts because of it.Collection: Life Changing
Once you understand what excellence is all about... you see how that excellence manifests itself in any discipline.Collection: Mma
There's a lot of people that I disagree with that I think I could have interesting conversations with. What I don't want to get into is manufactured conflict. I would much rather talk to someone like Dr. Rhonda Patrick or Randall Carlson and be mesmerized by information. I guess in a way that's selfish, or maybe not objective of me. The older (and hopefully wiser) I get the less interested I am in conflict. I don't mind disagreeing with people in a civil way, but I definitely don't want to go out of my way to have an argument unless it's a really important subject.Collection: Selfish
People do always try to smoke pot with me. But I think some of those people are cops.Collection: Thinking
When you're standing around for an hour doing stand up it's no big deal but when you're standing around watching a show for an hour - it's a big difference. It's annoying - your feet hurt, your back hurts - it's just not the most comfortable way to see stand-up comedy.Collection: Hurt
I definitely had one guy come up to me and ask if I knew where to get DMT. He had a crewcut and he didn't look like he'd ever done a drug in his life. He didn't seem curious he seemed like he wanted to get me to do something. Like "You're the laziest narc ever dude. This is ridiculous. What, do you think I bring drugs around with me? Are you retarded? Why don't you go find gangsters?"Collection: Thinking
I love existing in pre big bang conditions.Collection: Bangs
The mind is the most important thing of the big picture and no one has a stronger mindset than amateur wrestlers.Collection: Mma
I don't really like actors. Actors are like terrible comedians with no punch lines. It's all about them. They talk about themselves all the time. They bore the sh - t out of you.Collection: Comedian
One of the great things about Houston is that they police themselves. It's the way Boston was in the '80s. No hacks or thieves are tolerated in the community, and that's HUGE.Collection: Boston
I prefer older people to college kids [as audience] for the most part. I want people with life experience, people that understand where I'm coming from.Collection: Kids
I have this thing built into my contract that the club has to put up a sign that says my act "contains the strongest language and material content imaginable," but, believe it or not, I still get complaints. People want you to be what they want you to be. If they see you on TV and that's what they like, they want you to be EXACTLY like that when they see you live. And if you're not, some of them get upset.Collection: Believe
When women go to see men strip, we never accuse you of hating men.Collection: Hate
I’m afraid of heights. Not unreasonably, but rationally afraid of heights. I think everyone is.Collection: Thinking
If I could make the same amount of money doing standup it would be no contest. The problem is that if you do make that kind of money doing standup, it's not in clubs, it's in big auditoriums and large venues, and I really think something is lost when you do standup for a big crowd.Collection: Thinking
Houston Alexander is for real!Collection: Real
I really never thought people would think that I was funny, I thought (my friends) thought I was funny because I was their friend, but other people would just think I was an asshole. I was at least partly right.Collection: Thinking
One of the things that happened is I did a lot of shitty gigs. When you do a bunch of shitty bar gigs you have to get used to people yelling at you, you're used to thinking on the fly, to dealing with weird situations.Collection: Thinking
Most of my bits are long stream-of-consciousness- type things, and when I'm doing them onstage, other places to take the theme or idea will hit me, and I just go with it.Collection: Ideas
Comedy is a funny thing, and it's really not like any other art form in that it's very specialized and varied in it's content, but generic in it's title. You would never go to a club just to see "Live music," you would go to a jazz club to see jazz, a blues club to see blues, etc. But when you go to see "standup comedy," if you don't know the performers material, you really don't have any idea what you're gonna get.Collection: Art
A comic, all they have to do is, if you do something funny in a comedy club and you put it up on you tube, it might get a million hits! All it needs to do is resonate with one person who sends it to their friends, who sends it to other people, and before you know it, it has spread virally and BOOM! All of a sudden that person has a name.Collection: Names
Cities are natural, that's why they're everywhere. It's not like there's only one city, and everybody's like 'What the f**k is this?' No, cities are all over the place. They're natural. You know what's not natural? You, in the middle of the mountains, in the middle of the winter.Collection: Winter
Like if you all were going to go out and one guy's like "you know what man I'm going to stay home I'm feeling kind of shitty," you go, "You faggot." That's what it means. It's about a guy wimping out, being a douchebag...it has nothing to do with your sexual orientation.Collection: Home
Not all comedy clubs or situations are ideal, especially when you're first coming up and I think that's good for you. Eventually you get to express your real personality.Collection: Real
You want to talk about the word faggot because it really offends you? Well you're a douchebag.Collection: Douchebags
["Faggot"] is a great word! The whole thing about language is, it's supposed to be broadcasting your intentions. These are my intentions and these words broadcast my feelings. If all of a sudden you have forbidden words that doesn't make the intent any better. It's just appeasing sensitive people.Collection: People
When a ball goes into a net it only means something because we decided it means something. When somebody punches somebody in the face it always means something.Collection: Mean