Henry Cloud
Anger is frustration at the fact that we are not God, and do not have control over reality.Collection: Frustration
A person who hasn't grieved a significant loss has unfinished business inside and can cause others great grief as a result.Collection: Grief
One of the worst things you can die with is potential.Collection: Worst
We have our own thoughts, and if we want others to know them, we must tell them.Collection: Want
Endings are a part of life, and we are actually wired to execute them. But because of trauma, developmental failures, and other reasons, we shy away from the steps that could open up whole new worlds of development and growth.Collection: Growth
The natural response to evaluation is to feel judged. We have to mature to a place where we respond to it with gratitude, and love feedback.Collection: Gratitude
To grow, we need things that we do not have and cannot provide, and we need to have a source of those things who looks favorably upon us and who does things for us for our own good.Collection: Doe
Couples often live out years of falsehood trying to protect and save a relationship, all the while destroying any chance of real relationship.Collection: Couple
Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen.Collection: Dating
Dating is not only a wonderful time of life, but also a context for enormous spiritual and personal growth. You learn so much about yourself, others, God, love, spirituality, and life through dating. Done well, it can be fulfilling in and of itself. Done well, it can be one of the most fun and rewarding aspects of your life. Done well, it can lead to a good marriage.Collection: Spiritual
God's solution for "I can't live that way anymore" is basically, "Good! Don't live that way anymore. Set firm limits against evil behavior that are designed to promote change and redemption. Get the love and support you need from other places to take the kind of stance that I do to help redeem relationship. Suffer long, but suffer in the right way." And when done God's way, chances are much better for redemption.Collection: Support You
Values are sometimes worth living and dying for, and are certainly worth dating and breaking up over.Collection: Dating
The physicality of a real relationship - one that encompasses mind, body and soul - ultimately makes it more fulfilling and powerful than any virtual relationship ever could be.Collection: Powerful
We need rest not just so we feel better. We need rest for actual creation of what we're going to need the next day.Collection: Feel Better
When leaders lead in ways that people's brains can follow, good results follow as well.Collection: People
Training moments occur when both parents and children do their jobs. The parent's job is to make the rule. The child's job is to break the rule. The parent then corrects and disciplines. The child breaks the rule again, and the parent manages the consequences and empathy that then turn the rule into reality and internal structure for the child.Collection: Jobs
Things don't change in a marriage until the spouse who is taking responsibility for a problem that is not hers decides to say or do something about it.Collection: Love
Christianity is not about morality. It's about reality.Collection: Reality
When a child shuts down his painful emotional side, he also loses the ability to express his joyous side. Emotions are a whole. With anger comes the ability to express delight; with sadness comes the ability to express lightheartedness. This is the breadth of emotion that allows an adult to experience intimacy with a spouse, with God, and with his childrenCollection: Children
He is the Truth, and He wants us to deal in truth with ourselves and our loved ones. We want the truth about you and your family to flood into and overrun the secrets that keep you in bondage to dysfunctional behavior and relationshipsCollection: Secret
A leader's responsibility is to cause a vision and mission to have tangible results in the real world.Collection: Real
There's no better way to become a disintegrated character than to be your own authority.Collection: Character
Being right can never compete with doing well.Collection: Wells
A culture is like an immune system. It operates through the laws of systems, just like a body. If a body has an infection, the immune system deals with it. Similarly, a group enforces its norms, either actively or passively.Collection: Law
Dont use all-or-nothing thinking. Take each day as its own day, and dont worry about it if you mess up one day. The most important thing you can do is just get back up on the horse.Collection: Horse
Love can only exist where freedom and responsibility are operating.Collection: Responsibility
If you continue to blame other people for “making” you feel guilty, they still have power over you, and you are saying that you will only feel good when they stop doing that. You are giving them control over your life. Stop blaming other people.Collection: People
True intimacy is only build around the freedom to disagree.Collection: Intimacy
Grief is accepting the reality of what is. That is grief's job and purpose-to allow us to come to terms with the way things really are, so that we can move on. Grief is a gift of God. Without it, we would all be condemned to a life of continually denying reality, arguing or protesting against reality, and never growing from the realities we experience.Collection: Jobs
The opposite of bad is not good.The opposite of bad is loveCollection: Opposites
One of the first signs that you’re beginning to develop boundaries is a sense of resentment, frustration, or anger at the subtle and not-so-subtle violations in your life. Just as radar signals the approach of a foreign missile, your anger can alert you to boundary violations in your life.Collection: Frustration
Be Hard on the issue, Soft on the person.Collection: Issues
The sad thing is that many of us come to Christ because we are sinners, and then spend the rest of our lives trying to pretend that we are not!Collection: Trying
It is true that you get what you tolerate.Collection: Tolerate
To get greater than 100% return on a growth step, give up defensiveness. Defensiveness stifles performance, and destroys relationships.Collection: Giving Up
To rescue people from the natural consequences of their behavior is to render them powerless.Collection: People
There is a big difference between hurt and harm. We all hurt sometimes in facing hard truths, but it makes us grow. It can be the source of huge growth. That is not harmful. Harm is when you damage someone. Facing reality is usually not a damaging experience, even though it can hurt.Collection: Hurt
The twin sister to autonomy and freedom is responsibility and accountability. You cannot have one with out the other. If someone is given an area of responsibility, not only must they be set free to do it, they must also be held accountable for what they do. Accountability clarifies freedom. In the teams and companies where you see boundary confusion, power struggles, control, over-reaching of one's line of responsibility, you will also see lapses in accountability as well.Collection: Team
You have to be able to face losing some things you might want in order to be free to do the right thing.Collection: Order
The amount of truth a relationship can handle is proportional to the amount of perceived love that's present.Collection: Handle
Faith goes beyond reason. It goes beyond what you can see. But it is as real as anything you can touch or feel.Collection: Inspirational
The extent to which two people in a relationship can bring up and resolve issues is a critical marker of the soundness of a relationship.Collection: Relationship
Don't go overboard in praising required behavior: 'We have only done our duty' (Luke 17:10). But do go overboard when your child confesses the truth, repents honestly, takes chances, and loves openly. Praise the developing character in your child as it emerges in active, loving, responsible behavior.Collection: Children
If people are really narcissistic or have a need to be seen as more than they really are, or to be admired as having it all together, then they cannot be followed and trusted by others.Collection: People
Some goals are not going to fulfill you. Choose goals that you value and care about.Collection: Goal
Successful people stick to what they are good at and find ways to make that larger.Collection: Successful
Diligence is not easy, but we can't reach our goals without it.Collection: Goal
Confronting an irresponsible person is not painful to him; only consequences are.Collection: Painful
Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.Collection: Pain