Helen Fielding
Don't say 'what,' say 'pardon,' darling, and do as your mother tells you.Collection: Mother
Eventually, I manage to cheer Mum up by allowing her to go through my wardrobe and criticize all my clothes.Collection: Cheer
Bridget [Jones] was always, at heart, about the gap between how you feel you're expected to be and how you actually are and that gap has only widened. Young people now are entering an uncharted sea, where there's huge pressure to judge yourself on how many Likes or Followers you get on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, rather than the on important things like being kind, honest, resilient, funny and a good friend.Collection: Heart
In the end there is nothing more unattractive to men than radical feminism.Collection: Men
Oh God, what's wrong with me? Why does nothing ever work out?Collection: Work Out
I looked at him nonplussed. I realized that I have spent so many years being on a diet that the idea that you might actually need calories to survive has been completely wiped out of my consciousness. Have reached point where believe nutritional idea is to eat nothing at all, and that the only reason people eat is because they are so greedy they cannot stop themselves from breaking out and ruining their diets.Collection: Believe
I am a child of Cosmopolitan culture, have been traumatized by supermodels and too many quizzes and know that neither my personality nor my body is up to it if left to its own devices. I can't take the pressure.Collection: Children
As women glide from their twenties to thirties, Shazzer argues, the balance of power subtly shifts. Even the most outrageous minxes lose their nerve, wrestling with the first twinges of existential angst: fears of dying alone and being found three weeks later half-eaten by an Alsatian.Collection: Wrestling
You'll never get a boyfriend if you look like you wandered out of Auschwitz.Collection: Looks
I like L.A. It's like a mini break. For a writer, it's hilarious. Like the food. Where I come from, we eat chip sandwiches: white bread, butter, tomato catsup and big fat french fries. It's delicious. Here, you order a creme caramel and the waiter says, 'You know, that contains dairy.Collection: Order
Valentine's Day purely commercial, cynical enterprise, anyway. Matter of supreme indifference to me.Collection: Valentine
Oh God. valentine's Day tomorrow. Why? Why? Why is (the) entire world geared to make people not involved in romance feel stupid when everyone knows romance does not work anyway. Look at (the) royal family. Look at Mum and Dad.Collection: Dad
If you ask where a relationship is going too often the question has a habit of turning into where the relationship went. Unfortunately, however, God has given women an inbuilt irresistible urge to insist on knowing where their relationships are going, and to force their partners to discuss the matter at length whenever they are late for something.Collection: Knowing
Exes should never, never go out with or marry other people but should remain celibate to the end of their days in order to provide you with a mental fallback position.Collection: Order
I'm no good at anything. Not men. Not social skills. Not work. Nothing.Collection: Men
..we were always taught, instead of waiting to be swept off our feet, to 'expect little, forgive much'.Collection: Feet
You see, things being good has nothing to do with how you feel outside, it is all to do with how you are inside.Collection: How You Feel
Singletons should not have to explain themselves all the time but should have an accepted status — like geisha girls doCollection: Girl
I realize it has become too easy to find a diet to fit in with whatever you happen to feel like eating and that diets are not there to be picked and mixed but picked and stuck to, which is exactly what I shall begin to do once I've eaten this chocolate croissant.Collection: Chocolate
I will not get upset over men, but instead be poised and cool ice-queen.Collection: Queens
Quite quickly I grew less deranged. I had begun the process of calming down, assimilating and compromising, which is necessary to live comfortably in the world as it is, and probably is why its imbalance never changes. But underneath, my idea of life was completely altered.Collection: Ideas
I will not sulk about having no boyfriend, but develop inner poise and authority and sense of self as woman of substance, complete without boyfriend, as best way to obtain boyfriend.Collection: Self
But if you are single the last thing you want is your best friend forming a functional relationship with somebody else.Collection: Want
In terms of myself, my next big plan is to loose 7llb (as I've been planning to do since I was seventeen) Also to go to the gym three times a week, not merely to buy a sandwich. And also de-clutter the garage.Collection: Three
I'd been working on the [Bridget Jones's Baby: The Diaries material] for years, first, in the Independent newspaper columns and then in the various versions of the movie scripts.Collection: Baby
I tend to take [ to Bridget Jones Diaries] something that nearly happened, or might have happened, and then exaggerate it to make it funny and to make it tie into the themes.Collection: Ties
With most of the events in the books [ Bridget Jones Diaries ] I draw a little bit from my own life and some from what I see happening around me.Collection: Book
I had my daughter by C-section, so knew when and where she was going to be born. I got freakishly organized and prepared a group e-mail birth announcement. Unfortunately, I accidentally pressed Send All. I then had to send another e-mail saying, "I'm really sorry but I haven't actually had the baby yet." Then, when I actually did have the baby, I felt too embarrassed to send another e-mail saying, "I've definitely had the baby now."Collection: Daughter
With so many dark things to worry about in the world right now, I hope people will just go with the fun and enjoy [ Bridget Jones's Baby: The Diaries].Collection: Baby
Of course the chronology of the books is a bit back- to - front, and books usually come out before movies. But happily, these [Bridget Jones's] are fictional comedy diaries - not a history of the Battle of Waterloo.Collection: Book
For me, writing Bridget's [Jones] stories is an instinctive, organic thing, which tends to happen more by accident than design.Collection: Writing
I'd always hoped to write the story as a novel, but there was a long period when the [Bridget Jones's Baby: The Diaries] movie was stalled and in confusion. I felt frustrated creatively, and just couldn't work on the Baby material till the movie was sorted out.Collection: Baby
As Bridget writes to her son, in Bridget Jones' Baby - "if you just keep calm and keep your spirits up, things have a habit of turning out all right, just as they did for me."Collection: Baby
Sink into morbid, cynical reflection on how much romantic heartbreak is to do with ego and miffed pride rather than actual loss.Collection: Romance
It’s rather fun writing a female spy, because she has so much more kit. Bond never carried a hair dryer or a makeup bag. And he certainly didn’t wear an uplift bra.Collection: Fun