We are hardwired to connect with others, it's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.Collection: Giving
Guilt: I'm sorry. I made a mistake. Shame: I'm sorry. I am a mistake.Collection: Mistake
One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on "going it alone." Somehow we've come to equate success with not needing anyone. Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we're very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It's as if we've divided the world into "those who offer help" and "those who need help." The truth is that we are both.Collection: Hands
Wholehearted living is not like trying to reach a destination. It's like walking toward a star in the sky. We never really 'arrive,' but we certainly know that we're heading in the right direction.Collection: Stars
You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.Collection: Inspirational
What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.Collection: Gratitude
Want to be happy? Stop trying to be perfect.Collection: Perfect
If we want to make meaning, we need to make art. Cook, write, draw, doodle, paint, scrapbook, take pictures, collage, knit, rebuild an engine, sculpt, dance, decorate, act, sing - it doesn't matter. As long as we're creating, we're cultivating meaning.Collection: Motivational
Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion. Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning and purpose to our lives.Collection: Motivational
When perfectionism is driving us, shame is riding shotgun and fear is that annoying backseat driver!Collection: Riding
Tell your story with your whole heart.Collection: Heart
That's what life is about: about daring greatly, about being in the arena.Collection: Motivation
Courage is a value. My faith is the organizing principle in my life and what underpins my faith is courage and love, and so I have to be in the arena if I'm going to live in alignment with my values.Collection: And Love
I'm still a researcher. The best way to explain it is that I trusted myself deeply as a professional, but I did not have a lot of self-trust personally. When I started learning all of these things about the value and the importance of belonging, vulnerability, connection, self-kindness and self-compassion, I trusted what I was learning - again, I know I'm a good researcher. When those things and wholeheartedness started to emerge with all these different properties, I knew I had to listen. I'd heard these messages before personally but I didn't trust myself there.Collection: Kindness
We have become this very fear-based culture, especially post-9/11. Fear is the opposite of love, in my opinion. I think there would be more love in the world. I'm not talking about rainbows and unicorns and '70s Coca-Cola commercials. I'm talking about gritty, dangerous, wild-eyed love. Radical acceptance of people. Belonging. A good, goofy kind of love.Collection: Acceptance
I think that shame is a universal, paralyzing, painful emotion.Collection: Thinking
Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experience.Collection: Meaningful
Share with people who have earned the right to hear your story.Collection: People
Lean into the discomfort of the work.Collection: Discomfort
We cannot give our children what we don't have. Where we are on our journey of living and loving with our whole hearts is a much stronger indicator of parenting success than anything we can learn from how-to books.Collection: Motivational
Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it's also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.Collection: Struggle
Vulnerability is not weakness.Collection: Weakness
Shame cannot survive being spoken. It cannot survive empathy.Collection: Empathy
What's worth doing even if you fail?Collection: Failing
Who we are matters immeasurably more than what we know or who we want to be.Collection: Want
Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience.Collection: Perfect
You cannot shame or belittle people into changing their behaviors.Collection: People
I'm just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I'm alive.Collection: Grateful
Courage originally meant "To speak one's mind by telling all one's heartCollection: Courage
We are a culture of people who've bought into the idea that if we stay busy enough, the truth of our lives won't catch up with us.Collection: Ideas
There is no intimacy without vulnerability. Yet another powerful example of vulnerability as courage.Collection: Powerful
There’s nothing more daring than showing up, putting ourselves out there and letting ourselves be seen.Collection: Showing Up
If there's a feeling you have, other people have it. If there's something weird about your life, other people have lived it. If there's something kooky about your body, other people have that, too. We're not alone. There's some kind of tremendous relief in that and I think it can only be expressed in belly laughter. This tremendous relief that happens the millisecond we realize, it's not just me. That's what good laughter is about. It's about knowing that you're not alone.Collection: Laughter
If we share our shame story with the wrong person, they can easily become one more piece of flying debris in an already dangerous storm.(page 10)Collection: Flying
Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.Collection: Shame
Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.Collection: Meaningful
I think laughter between people is a holy form of connection, of communion. It's the way you and I look at each other and without words, say, I get exactly what you're saying. And so, it's important to me.Collection: Laughter
Spirituality emerged as a fundamental guidepost in Wholeheartedness. Not religiosity but the deeply held belief that we are inextricably connected to one another by a force greater than ourselves--a force grounded in love and compassion. For some of us that's God, for others it's nature, art, or even human soulfulness. I believe that owning our worthiness is the act of acknowledging that we are sacred. Perhaps embracing vulnerability and overcoming numbing is ultimately about the care and feeding of our spirits.Collection: Art
Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.Collection: Believe
Hope is a function of struggle.Collection: Struggle
Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.Collection: Acceptance
We can talk about courage and love and compassion until we sound like a greeting card store, but unless we're willing to have an honest conversation about what gets in the way of putting these into practice in our daily lives, we will never change. Never, ever.Collection: Love
The universe is not short on wake-up calls. We’re just quick to hit the snooze button.Collection: People
On the flip side, I've also had to struggle with saying "yes." Before I did this research and before I had my own breakdown and spiritual awakening around this work, my motto was, "Don't do anything that you're already not great at doing." Which I think is the way the majority of adults in our culture live. Authenticity is also about the courage and the vulnerability to say, "Yeah, I'll try it. I feel pretty uncomfortable and I feel a little vulnerable, but I'll try it!"Collection: Spiritual
Most people believe vulnerability is weakness. But really vulnerability is Courage. We must ask ourselves...are we willing to show up and be seen.Collection: Believe
I think a lot of us are multiple things that don't always fit together neatly in a bio box.Collection: Thinking
If you want to make a difference, the next time you see someone being cruel to another human being, take it personally. Take it personally because it is personal!Collection: Differences
If we don’t allow ourselves to experience joy and love, we will definitely miss out on filling our reservoir with what we need when. . . . hard things happen.Collection: Joy
The laughter that happens when people are truth-telling and showing up and being real - I call that "knowing laughter." That's what happens between people when we recognize the absurdity of the belief that we're alone in anything.Collection: Laughter