Brené Brown
In my research, I've interviewed a lot of people who never fit in, who are what you might call 'different': scientists, artists, thinkers. And if you drop down deep into their work and who they are, there is a tremendous amount of self-acceptance.
Live-tweeting your bikini wax is not vulnerability. Nor is posting a blow-by-blow of your divorce . That's an attempt to hot-wire connection. But you can't cheat real connection. It's built up slowly. It's about trust and time.
One of the things I did when I discovered this huge importance of being vulnerable is very happily moved away from the shame research, because that's such a downer, and people hate that topic. It's not that vulnerability is the upside, but it's better than shame, I guess.
Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can't ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment's notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow - that's vulnerability.
If you think dealing with issues like worthiness and authenticity and vulnerability are not worthwhile because there are more pressing issues, like the bottom line or attendance or standardized test scores, you are sadly, sadly mistaken. It underpins everything.
I love to take, process and share photos - it fills me up.
I'm like a recovering perfectionist. For me it's one day at a time.
The moment someone asks you to do something you don't have the time or inclination to do is fraught with vulnerability.
When you stop caring what people think, you lose your capacity for connection. When you're defined by it, you lose our capacity for vulnerability.
I'm just going to say it: I'm pro-guilt. Guilt is good. Guilt helps us stay on track because it's about our behavior. It occurs when we compare something we've done - or failed to do - with our personal values.
I hesitate to use a pathologizing label, but underneath the so-called narcissistic personality is definitely shame and the paralyzing fear of being ordinary.
As a vulnerability researcher, the greatest barrier I see is our low tolerance for vulnerability. We're almost afraid to be happy. We feel like it's inviting disaster.
One thing that I tell people all the time is, 'I'm not going to answer a call from you after nine o'clock at night or before nine o'clock in the morning unless it's an emergency.'
We use work to numb out. We can't turn off our machines because we're afraid we're going to miss something.
When the people we love stop paying attention, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in.
As unique as we all are, an awful lot of us want the same things. We want to shake up our current less-than-fulfilling lives. We want to be happier, more loving, forgiving and connected with the people around us.
Our need for certainty in an endeavor as uncertain as raising children makes explicit 'how-to-parent' strategies both seductive and dangerous.
Normally, when someone we love is turning away from a struggle, we self-protect by also turning away. That's definitely my first response. I think change is more likely to happen if both partners have common language and a shared lens to see problems.
Daring greatly means the courage to be vulnerable. It means to show up and be seen. To ask for what you need. To talk about how you're feeling. To have the hard conversations.Collection: Mean
Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are.Collection: Letting Go
When we deny our stories, They define us. When we own our stories, we get to write the ending.Collection: Writing
We can have courage or we can have comfort, but we cannot have both.Collection: Comfort
What we know matters but who we are matters more.Collection: Who We Are
Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.Collection: Motivation
I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.Collection: Inspirational
We don't have to be perfect, just engaged and committed to aligning values with actions.Collection: Perfect
Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.Collection: Motivation
Don't try to win over the haters; you are not a jackass whisperer.Collection: Winning
Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we're all in this together.Collection: Imperfection
Compassion is not a virtue -- it is a commitment. It's not something we have or don't have -- it's something we choose to practice.Collection: Commitment
Joy is not a constant. It comes to us in moments - often ordinary moments. Sometimes we miss out on the bursts of joy because we're too busy chasing down the extraordinary moments. Other times we're so afraid of the dark we don't dare let ourselves enjoy the light. A joyful life is not a floodlight of joy. That would eventually become unbearable. I believe a joyful life is made up of joyful moments gracefully strung together by trust, gratitude and inspirationCollection: Gratitude
Worthiness doesn't have prerequisites.Collection: Prerequisites
Let go of who you think you're supposed to be and embrace who you are.Collection: Letting Go
Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.Collection: Inspirational
Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.Collection: Confidence
Healthy striving is self-focused: "How can I improve?" Perfectionism is other-focused: "What will they think?"Collection: Thinking
We're all so busy chasing the extraordinary that we forget to stop and be grateful for the ordinary.Collection: Grateful
Effort + the courage to show up = enough.Collection: Effort
Empathy doesn't require that we have the exact same experiences as the person sharing their story with us...Empathy is connecting with the emotion that someone is experiencing, not the event or the circumstance.Collection: Empathy
Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness.Collection: Courage
People may call what happens at midlife 'a crisis,' but it's not. It's an unraveling - a time when you feel a desperate pull to live the life you want to live, not the one you're 'supposed' to live. The unraveling is a time when you are challenged by the universe to let go of who you think you are supposed to be and to embrace who you are.Collection: Motivational
I believe in the healing power of laughter. I believe laughter forces us to breathe.Collection: Laughter
We are so busy that the truth about our lives can't catch up.Collection: Busy
You can’t dress rehearse the bad moments.Collection: Dresses
We can only belong when we offer our most authentic selves and when we're embraced for who we are.Collection: Self
Vulnerability is not about fear and grief and disappointment; it is the birthplace of everything we're hungry for.Collection: Disappointment
I now see how gifts like courage, compassion, and connection only work when they are exercised. Every day.Collection: Courage
There are infinite numbers of do overs for your teen girls.Collection: Girl
Unused creativity is not benign.Collection: Creativity