Bill Hicks
We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?Collection: Revolutionary Ideas
A lotta Christians wear crosses 'round their necks; do you think if Jesus comes back he ever wants to see another cross?Collection: Christian
What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?Collection: War
My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked.Collection: Voice
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say 'Yeah? When?'Collection: Funny
We really are All One....this is the very philosophy that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for fifteen years.Collection: Philosophy
I was always 'awake'...Some part of me clamoring for NEW insights and NEW ways to make the world a better place.Collection: World
I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage.Collection: Funny
Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let's put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.Collection: Marijuana
Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.Collection: People
I can't believe a war against drugs when they have anti-drug commercials on TV all day long followed by This Bud is for you.Collection: War
Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?Collection: Funny
What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.Collection: Wall
I'll tell you how to solve this abortion thing...Those unwanted babies...? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.Collection: Baby
People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.Collection: Children
Don’t worry, don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.Collection: Tattoo
All your beliefs, they’re just that. They’re nothing. They’re how you were taught and raised. That doesn’t make ’em real.Collection: Real
You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”. Yeah, looks like He rushed it.Collection: Real
I’m just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.Collection: Real
Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who’ve helped me.Collection: Book
We are one with God and He loves us. Now if that isn’t a hazard to this country-How’re we gonna keep building nuclear weapons?Collection: Country
You’re not a human till you’re in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.Collection: Book