Susan Messing

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When the audience isn't laughing, that doesn't mean that they're not fascinated.
- Susan Messing
Collection: Mean
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You’re only limited by your lack of imagination and fear of appearing stupid.
- Susan Messing
Collection: Stupid
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If you're not having fun, you're the asshole.
- Susan Messing
Collection: Fun
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The longer you wait, the more the jump rope becomes a big steel cable.
- Susan Messing
Collection: Waiting
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If I don't have fun, it's my own damn fault.
- Susan Messing
Collection: Fun
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If you're dumb enough to make me talk I'm smart enough to speak.
- Susan Messing
Collection: Smart
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I deal with the depraved, the sick, the pathetic, the disturbing and the profoundly depressed. I will try it all on. I will try on what I am and what I never want to be. And everything I wanted to be, but never can be. I can be a supermodel, or your worst nightmare. Off-stage, I just get to leave it, and nobody thinks I'm like that. This is what prevents me from being a psychopath and a sociopath, my time on stage.
- Susan Messing
Collection: Thinking
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Symmetry looks good to us; we want more of it.
- Susan Messing
Collection: Looks