Nick Swardson

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No one will ever be as good as Phil Hartman. He was such an amazing genius, and may be the best sketch performer of all time.
- Nick Swardson
Collection: Amazing
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Comedy is so subjective, you know what I mean? To sit there and technically pick it apart is so stupid.
- Nick Swardson
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Improv plays such a huge role in finding great lines - you'll be surprised at what comes out of your mind inadvertently. A lot of times it's better than a script you've worked out ahead of time.
- Nick Swardson
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Improv kind of goes hand in hand with what I do. I was on 'Reno 911!' for six years, and that was a completely improvised show.
- Nick Swardson
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When you live the life of a comedian, it's such a state of arrested development. I can't deal with anything very maturely. I'm still really bad at paying bills or doing anything that would be considered semi-adult. I'm really bad at it. It's weird I can create and run a TV show, but I can't pay my phone bill.
- Nick Swardson
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For me, honestly, one of the first movies I did I was always pounding coffee, and I crashed so horribly. So I've kind of weaned myself off. You keep getting second and third winds. But for me, I've stopped doing energy drinks or any kind of stimulant. I just kind of go natural.
- Nick Swardson
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I started in the club route. I did the alternative scene later on. When I lived in New York, I did the Luna Lounge and stuff, where Janeane Garofalo and David Cross and all those guys worked out of, but I came from a comedy club background. I'm proud of that background. I'm one of the people that really crossed over and did both.
- Nick Swardson
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If you want to be a comedian, go out. Do a week in Des Moines, Iowa. Try to make those people laugh.
- Nick Swardson
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I always thought that the fastest way for me to get ahead and get noticed and to do well was to make my act very accessible. When I first started, I talked about family stuff, my dog, my cat. It was all I knew back then; I wasn't forcing anything, but I wasn't like, 'Hey, don't you hate doing homework?'
- Nick Swardson
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I'm developing more stuff in my voice, more Nick Swardson. It's me as myself in a sense and kind of in my voice, no accent no affectation. I'm growing into my own persona.
- Nick Swardson
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Most sketch aficionados have an enormous amount of respect for 'Mr. Show.' I didn't have HBO back then, so I was always trying to find episodes. Bob Odenkirk and David Cross became celebrities, and Jay Johnston - who's lesser known, but brilliant - deserves a lot of credit, too.
- Nick Swardson
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The key to comedy is commitment - if you're afraid, you shouldn't be a comedian.
- Nick Swardson
Collection: Commitment
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Babies are like the smallest, drunkest people you know.
- Nick Swardson
Collection: Baby
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[Being a good comedian] is a skill, but it's also a weird thing that only certain people can do. I always equate it to surgeons and how they can just cut people open and operate. Certain people are just wired differently, and I feel like comics are the same way.
- Nick Swardson
Collection: Cutting
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I was always pretty good at adapting to my situations. My act was never that inside, where it was like, "Okay, they're either going to get this or they're not."
- Nick Swardson
Collection: Situation
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I always write and create. I'm never not creating. I'm always creating a show, every year, whether it gets picked up or not. I always sell a pilot or an idea. I like to be in control.
- Nick Swardson
Collection: Writing
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I would eventually like to write and star in my own stuff. I think I have a good comedic sense, so I'd like to follow that road. I don't know what the future holds, but whatever I do, I'll commit.
- Nick Swardson
Collection: Stars
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I was always pretty broad. I've had a couple bad experiences. One time, I showed up late for a gig in Brooklyn at an Italian restaurant. I ran on stage, did my show, and then some guy in the audience threatened to kill me because he didn't like my joke. Instead of talking to him, I just ran off stage. And then, because I was late, the owner of the restaurant threatened to kill me. And I was 19 years old and so scared that I almost started crying. But, I've done every gig you can imagine, in every state.
- Nick Swardson
Collection: Couple
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It's rare that I've read a script where I'm like, "Oh, my god, it's hilarious!" All you want is a good skeleton and good characters. Then, you can go, "Okay, I can bring a lot to this. I can improvise and I can create something out of this."
- Nick Swardson
Collection: Character
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I have no problem doing gay stuff, I really don't care.
- Nick Swardson
Collection: Gay
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Once you realize you can make people laugh, it's a superpower. When you're really young, you don't know how to use that power, so I would just say the meanest things I could to get a laugh. I was so awful. I would make fun of kids who didn't deserve to get made fun of. I was just mean, when I was really young. You don't realize that you don't have to be mean to be funny. But, it was something that I was just able to grow into.
- Nick Swardson
Collection: Fun
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It's hard to give someone advice when you're an institution. I don't really put a lot of pressure on it - I'm just open to doing stuff that's challenging.
- Nick Swardson
Collection: Giving