Laurence J. Peter
The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.Collection: Competence
A rut is a grave with the ends knocked out.Collection: Ruts
Bore : A fellow who can change the subject back to his topic of conversation faster than you can change it back to yours.Collection: Topics
You could generally inform a real close friend: when you have manufactured a idiot of on your own he does not truly feel you've finished a long lasting job.Collection: Jobs
Lead, follow or get of the wayCollection: Way
Scientists are still trying to produce life in the laboratory, but it shouldn't be difficult if the laboratory assistant is pretty and willing.Collection: Trying
When a New Yorker looks like he has a suntan, it's probably rust.Collection: Travel
There are two sorts of losers - the good loser, and the one who can't act.Collection: Two
You don't need to take a persons advice to make him feel good, just ask him for it.Collection: Feel Good
May your happiest days of the past be your saddest days of your future.Collection: Happiness
Don't worry about middle age: you'll outgrow it.Collection: Birthday
Egypt: Where the Israelites would still be if Moses had been a bureaucrat.Collection: Egypt
The reason crime doesn't pay is that when it does, it is called a more respectable name.Collection: Names
The modern child will answer you back before you've said anything.Collection: Children
The unexpected always happens.Collection: Unexpected
There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of usCollection: Humility
He laughs best whose laugh lasts.Collection: Laughing
As the farmer said, "I'm not greedy, all I want is the land next to mine.Collection: Land
Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.Collection: Tired
In most hierarchies, supercompetence is more objectionable than incompetence.Collection: Work
Two things reduce prejudice: education and laughter.Collection: Laughter
Real, constructive mental power lies in the creative thought that shapes your destiny, and your hour-by-hour mental conduct produces power for change in your life. Develop a train of thought on which to ride. The nobility of your life as well as your happiness depends upon the direction in which that train of thought is going.Collection: Inspirational
The man who believes he can do it is probably right, and so is the man who believes he can't.Collection: Believe
The advantage of modern means of communication is they enable you to worry about things in all of the worldCollection: Communication
Only mediocrities rise to the top in a system that won't tolerate wave making.Collection: Mediocrity
A true friend will see you through when others see that you are through.Collection: True Friend
There are some men who in a fifty-fifty proposition insist on getting the hyphen too.Collection: Men
Reality is for people who can't face drugs.Collection: Reality
You shouldn't punish others for your own choices.Collection: Choices
Humility is the embarrassment you feel when you tell people how wonderful you are.Collection: Humility
Everyone is in awe of the lion tamer in a cage with half a dozen lions-everyone but a school bus driver.Collection: School
The machinery of government is a vast series of interlocking hierarchies riddled through and through with incompetence.Collection: Government
Fools rush in where wise men fear to trade.Collection: Wise
Many an optimist has become rich simply by buying out a pessimist.Collection: Inspirational
Would the boy you were be proud of the man you are?Collection: Kindness
There is no stigma attached to recognizing a bad decision in time to install a better one.Collection: Decision
It usually takes two people to make one of them angry.Collection: Two
We hate to have some people give us advice because we know how badly they need it themselves.Collection: Hate
A free press is one that prints a dictator's speech but doesn't have to.Collection: Speech
If the outcome is good, what's the difference between motives that sound good and good, sound motives?Collection: Work
Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.Collection: Incompetence
When I want your opinion I'll give it to you.Collection: Giving
Middle age is when you stop criticizing the older generation and start criticizing the younger one.Collection: Age
There are more pretty photographs of women than there are photographs of pretty women.Collection: Pretty Woman
An optimist expects his dreams to come true; a pessimist expects his nightmares to.Collection: Dream
We are members of a strange species that devotes its energies to climbing the ladder of success in order to make money to buy things we don't like.Collection: Climbing
The devil could change. He was once an angel and may be evolving still.Collection: Change