Kurt Braunohler
I would love to be more specific, but really, any type of bird is the funniest animal. They have to move awkwardly when walking. They have beady eyes; they are very suspicious. They can't do anything right. They have no hands, which is inherently funny.Collection: Funny
Who would want to get back together with Taylor Swift after having dated her? I'm sure dating her is like talking to a white sheet of paper with a little bit of vanilla ice cream on it that doesn't say anything.Collection: Dating
I grew up very Catholic. I wanted to be a priest.Collection: Catholic
People have said that to me: They say I have a TV face.Collection: People
New York is a place that can grind you down and spit you out. A true New Yorker doesn't get ground down, he gets polished.Collection: New York
Probably all of my advice is bad advice.Collection: Advice
Just start writing and you'll find what you want to say.Collection: Writing
If you're waiting for inspiration, you'll wait until you're dead.Collection: Inspiration
I've had a good run of birthdays, and now no one will notice when I die.Collection: Running
Paint yourself into a corner so that you don't have any other option but to continue forward.Collection: Paint
I'm just going to keep doing comedy because I don't know what else to do. I have no other applicable skills.Collection: Skills
I put so much energy into with improv. You can only perform it at a place where people are, essentially, taking improv classes so that they just appreciate what's happening.Collection: Class
Improv requires your audience to be informed about what improv is. With stand-up, anybody can sit down and watch stand-up and laugh at jokes.Collection: Laughing
It's so much harder to make a living off improv. Improv is so rarified and for such a specific audience.Collection: Harder
When you're doing improv for seven years, you're an old soul of the improv world.Collection: Years
I think having a daughter is just terrifying. Women in the world get the short end of the stick all the time in many, many ways, and so it's just terrifying to be like, "Well, this is the world we chose to bring you into. I'm sorry." It's not knowing how to prepare for that.Collection: Daughter
Since I was 14. I grew up surfing. That's all I wanted to do.Collection: Surfing
I used to be really snobby about music. I'm not as snobby as I used to be, though. I have this great bit about not getting mad about music anymore. It just happens when you get older.Collection: Mad
So many funny things happen to me everyday I should have a TV show.Collection: Should Have