Joe Orton
The humble and meek are thirsting for blood.
I'd the upbringing a nun would envy. Until I was fifteen I was more familiar with Africa than my own body.
The kind of people who always go on about whether a thing is in good taste invariably have very bad taste.
I'm too amused by the way people carry on to give in to despair.Collection: People
With madness, as with vomit, it's the passerby who receives the inconvenience.Collection: Madness
Cleanse my heart... Give me the ability to rage correctlyCollection: Heart
People think I write fantasy, but I don't; some things may be exaggerated or distorted in the same way that painters distort and alter things, but they're realistic figures. They're perfectly recognisable.Collection: Writing
Policemen, like red squirrels, must be protected.Collection: Squirrels
The Oscar Wilde of Welfare State gentility.Collection: Oscars
Every luxury was lavished on you - atheism, breastfeeding, circumcision.Collection: Children
Civilizations have been founded and maintained on theories which refused to obey facts.Collection: Civilization
FAY: The British police force used to be run by men of integrity. TRUSCOTT: That is a mistake which has been rectified.Collection: Running
It's all any reasonable child can expect if the dad is present at the conception.Collection: Children
On our way home we were waiting for the bus when a very fat, pompous-looking woman reeled out of a pub shouting, "Melancholia? Ad nauseam."Collection: Home
You were born with your legs apart. They'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin.Collection: Sarcastic
The humble and meek are thirsting for loodCollection: Humble
Reading isn't an occupation we encourage among police officers. We try to keep the paperwork down to a minimum.Collection: Work