Helen Rowland
There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.Collection: Marriage
There are more ways of killing a man's love than by strangling it to death, but that's the usual way.Collection: Love
A man may talk inspiringly to a woman about love in the abstract--but the look in his eyes is always perfectly concrete.Collection: Eye
Some widowers are bereaved -- others, relieved.Collection: Relieved
Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?Collection: Girl
There are many times where a woman would gladly drop her husband if she did not feel morally certain that some other woman would come right along and pick him up.Collection: Husband
A bachelor gets tangled up with a lot of women in order to avoid getting tied up to one.Collection: Women
Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.Collection: Time
Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst end of the bargain.Collection: Marriage
the mistakes you regret the most in your life are the ones you didn't commit when you had the chanceCollection: Regret
Don't waste time trying to break a man's heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place.Collection: Broken Heart
The hardest task of a girl's life, nowadays, is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious.Collection: Girl
The dollar sign is the only sign in which the modern man appears to have any real faith.Collection: Real
Marriage: a souvenir of love.Collection: Souvenirs
There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age.Collection: People
Love is woman's eternal spring and man's eternal fall. It is a game at which men must play against stacked cards, and without the slightest inkling of the trump.Collection: Love
For repeating themselves from the first kiss to the last sigh, the average man's love affairs have History blushing with envy.Collection: Kissing
Flattery is like wine, which exhilarates a man for a moment, but usually ends by going to his head and making him act foolishly.Collection: Wine
There's so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who's married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them.Collection: Devil
Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.Collection: Men
What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.Collection: Love
Verily, the best of husbands hath many raw edges, and many unnecessary pleats in his temper, and many wrinkles in his disposition, which must be removed.Collection: Husband
Honeymoons are the beginning of wisdom – but the beginning of wisdom is the end of romance.Collection: Romance